Making friends

8 Jul

I’ve been hanging out on www.fetlife.com.   Going to munches.  Spending some time logged onto a vanilla dating website – cause you know, that’s where I met Sir in the first place.   I’m not looking for “Mr. Right,” at any of these places, just being open to the universe and whatever may come my way.

i am standing in front of a table.  Naked, legs apart.  In my red heels, 4 inch heels, with narrow leather cuffs around my ankles.  A ring embedded in each cuff is attached securely to a platform.    i can’t move my feet more than an inch, can’t press my thighs together.  The platform is raised; the table is lower than my hips.   

 Similar narrow cuffs encircle my wrists.  They are fastened together behind my back, which raises my breasts, thrusting them forward.   My nipples are erect, hard and elongated.  i am exposed, unable to cover my breasts, or my freshly shaved pussy.

I know I need to take my time here.  I’m just meeting people, not really shopping for a Dom.  And I’ve met some nice folks.  People at the last munch I went to were really nice.  And fetlife is great, all kinds of interesting discussions and people’s profiles. and such.

i can hear Him right behind me, almost feel his breath; i can’t see Him.  Not touching me, so close, not touching.  i tremble.

His hand on my nipple, a caress becomes a pinch – o – mmpf.   He pinches harder.  “Does that hurt?” He says.

“O – yes, o, yes, Sir, it does hurt,” i say.  

He releases the nipple.  “Good,” He says.  i close my eyes.

 I was talking to somebody on the vanilla site, he was pretty nice, for a while.  Then I figured out he was seriously vanilla, and I guess we could have been friends, but he was looking for the love of his life.  Which, in retrospect, doesn’t seem as romantic as it did at first.   He was pretty sure I was Her, but I was pretty sure I wasn’t.  You know how that goes.

I did meet somebody else on there who’s pretty clearly a little kinky, and is pretty nice too.  Unfortunately, seems like he’s more submissive than dominant, so maybe we’ll be friends, but he’s not – not – oh, damnit, I almost said something ridiculous like not “The One.” 

There is no “The One.”  There is no “The One.”  I should have to write it 50 times.

He’s speaking in a low tone, close to my ear, i can feel the warmth of His body behind me, feel his breath as he says, “Listen carefully.  I’m going to spank you.  you’re going to bend over the table, so your ass is raised up, and I’m going to spank your ass.  Hard.  Do you understand?”

i can barely speak – “Yes, yes, Sir, i do understand.”

“Tell me.”  He pauses, and says it again, calmly, “Tell me, aisha.  What am I going to do?”

i swallow hard, struggle to force the words out.  “You’re going to – to spank me…”  and i don’t know if He’s going to use His hand or His belt, but i can already feel it. 

“What else?” He says.

“Um, i’m – i’m going to bend over.  Bend over – with my ass – raised up so You can spank me.”   And i can feel it, feel my breasts pressed against the wood, my ass bare and totally exposed, feel my cheeks spread, opening the space between them to his view,   unable to see where He is or what He’s getting ready to do.

“How?” He says.  “Almost done.  How am i going to spank you?” 

And i gasp because i don’t think i can say it, i can’t breathe, but He is right there, so i do, i say, “Hard, Sir.  You’re going to – spank me – hard.”   

His voice is gentle, “And that makes you hot, doesn’t it, my little slut?  Are you hot now?  When I touch you, will you be wet?”

Omigod.  I’ve got to stop this.  It’s just a fantasy, it’s not even real.  Except, you know, I know now that it can be real.  I know that it doesn’t have to be just my fantasy.  Damn it.  Making friends, that’s what I’m gonna be doing for a while now.  Not looking for the man I can’t see, the man behind me, talking firm and soft.  

Omigod. 

Ok, lets see if I can get all Jungian about this.  The man in the  scenario actually represents some part of myself that I need to get in touch with.  Or the woman does.  Wait – they both do.  They’re both just parts of myself.  

This isn’t about me wanting submissive sexual pleasure, it’s about me needing to – um – I don’t know – unite the yin and yang elements in my being?  That sounds good, doesn’t it?  So why does writing my fantasy make me wet?  Damn it.

“Bend over,” He says.  But He helps me, he takes my shoulders and presses me down to the table, carefully. 

{Ok, here’s a problem.  Could I bruise my face when He starts spanking me?  Should He put a pillow under my face?  Maybe I should make it a narrow table so my face isn’t touching the wood.  No, that’s stupid.   See, that’s the problem with fantasy.  I don’t know if I could accidentally bang my head and hurt myself or not.  Ok, let’s be safe.}

He slides a pillow under my face, strokes my hair.  Then He is stroking my ass instead, gently, tenderly.  Caressing me, and even though i know it’s going to hurt in a minute, i melt.  

He says what He often says.  “You know that where ever I touch you gently, where ever I make it feel good, I’m going to make it hurt.  And anywhere I make it hurt, then I’m going to make it feel good.  And the better I make it feel…”  He pauses and i know what i’m supposed to say.   For a second, i don’t think i can, i’m so lost in the feel of His hand between my cheeks, probing.   But i do, i finish the sentence He started, i know:  the better He makes it feel, then.. “the more it’s going to hurt.” 

i am His, in that moment, my ass is His, my pussy is His.  All of me, laid out on the table, waiting for the next caress, the next slap, the whistle of the belt, or the caress of his lips, all of me is His. 

Well, I think I’ve tortured myself quite enough for one day.   In all kinds of ways.  I think I’ll take myself to bed, maybe spend some time with Big Blue, my trusty personal friend.

Good night, youall.

2 Responses to “Making friends”

  1. tipacanoe July 11, 2010 at 12:21 pm #

    Fantasies are great until you have to try and go to sleep, yours sounds great to wake up too.

    • aisha48 July 11, 2010 at 1:16 pm #

      Oh, thanks for the comment! I didn’t think anyone was ever going to comment – and now I suddenly got 2 in one day. Too cool!

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