It’s Friday…

8 Oct

…and sometime late this afternoon, His car will pull into my driveway.  i can’t wait!

Well, i guess really i can, since i have a zillion things to do before then.  A meeting this morning, and some loose ends from work to tie up.   Then,  free to do some laundry, get my nails done, shave, change the sheets, and so on.  i do love the rituals and routines of getting ready for Him.    

On a different note, i had a tough day at work yesterday, and last night i was feeling sad.  Not my own sad really, but other people’s sadness weighing on me a little bit.   i needed someone to listen to my feelings.   Not to make them go away, not to try to fix them, not to fix me.  Just  to listen.  To acknowledge them.

And  Sir D was so perfect.    He did just that, listened.  That helped contain the feelings, and i felt better.  i forget sometimes  – the power of being heard.  Even though that’s probably the main thing i do all day – hear people.   It’s good to be reminded of how good it feels on the other end.

And then, after all that, He mentioned that the risotto spoon was not the only thing He was bringing today.  He has another implement of impact  up His sleeve.  

Well, He has lots of implements at His disposal all the time, right?  i mean, this is a man who has different toy collections in different parts of His house.   But the tool He mentioned is apparently noteworthy.  Not run-of-the-mill even for Him.   So i’m sure i can’t imagine what He’s got in store for me.  

He almost sent me a picture of it, whatever “it” is.  Then He decided not to.  So i’m left in suspense.  Lots of suspense, because –

– with all these spanking fantasies i’ve been indulging myself in, it’s pretty clear that i’m going to have a spanking reality in a few hours.   And the closer i get to that, the more i want to backpedal a little.   Just a little.  Because, you know, i’m not a masochist…

…i’m not that into pain. 

Or maybe i am.  i don’t know.  

Maybe it’ll hurt too much and i won’t be able to take it and Sir will be disappointed. 

Or maybe i’ll want more, and He’ll think i’m TOO much of a pain slut. 

Or maybe i’ll make myself crazy with all my maybe’s, and waste a lot of time and energy, when really i just need to let it go and let it be what it becomes.

Hmmm {laughing} i’m thinking maybe i should check the “let it go and let it be” option.  

Which means getting centered.  Finding that sweet spot of surrender.  i know where to look for it…

…deep inside myself. 

i picture myself kneeling.  Of course.  Palms up on my thighs.  i am already aroused – moving into the last hours of orgasm denial, i am constantly wet – marinating in my own juices, as ‘Nilla says. 

My pussy throbs, clenches, a shiver runs through me.  i tingle.

My mouth longs for His taste.   Nipples harden, anticipating His touch.   i want His hand in my hair.

i am open, receptive, waiting. 

Yes, i want Him to spank me, in His time, in His way.  i let go of my fantasies and my anxieties about what it should be.   i capture all the “what-ifs” in one hand, and toss them in the air;  they fly away, like butterflies.

Free of all that nonsense, joy remains.  And excitement.   

{Smiles}  i can’t wait.

6 Responses to “It’s Friday…”

  1. Mick October 8, 2010 at 7:01 am #

    Yum.. Aisha Ceviche.

    The line about collections in different parts of the house … makes me imagine a Marx Bros. style movie with a wacky Dom trying to tend to several slaves all at once, without them knowing the others are being tended to….

    Hope you and D have a great time.

  2. nilla October 8, 2010 at 8:11 am #

    First, i am *loving* the imagery of grabbing all the ‘what ifs’ and turning them into butterflies…a butterfly is my personal symbol on this journey…

    and good on you, as you marinate, to be just in the moment. Oooh, that anticipation is almost as hard to live with as the denial of O’s, as the waiting to get to this point…the last few hours boil our blood and make us lightheaded.

    it will be what it will be…and it will be good and hawt and His way.

    enjoy every moment, aisha, i know you will savor, and drink Him into you…

    nilla

  3. aisha48 October 8, 2010 at 9:25 am #

    @Mick – LOL – aside from the fact that Sir D isn’t wacky, his house would be a great place to stage the movie!

    @’nilla – Have i told you how much i enjoy your comments? You have a real knack for taking what I’ve said and building on it. I really appreciate that. And yes, I will enjoy!!

    aisha

  4. nilla October 8, 2010 at 12:25 pm #

    That made my day. thanks aisha

    n

  5. sin October 8, 2010 at 12:54 pm #

    “The power of being heard.” Yes, that’s huge.

    And you have to just let it go and be whatever comes. I think that’s real submission, to what he wants, in that moment, don’t you?

    • aisha48 October 8, 2010 at 3:07 pm #

      @Sin – Yes, I think you’re right. It’s sometimes hard for me to get there – I want to forsee any problems and solve them before they happen, make sure I’m not going to do anything wrong, anticipate (control) everything. In a “serving” kind of way, but still. It’s willful and controlling in its own subtle way. When I do get to that “letting go” space – it feels soooooo good.

      Thanks for the insight! And “yes” too on being heard. It’s a gift, when it happens.

      hugs,

      aisha

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