On Saturday…

11 Oct

…. He was gone again

Yes, i had a lovely time.  Cock worship ~ elegant food ~ orgasms ~ interesting conversation, and o, yes – you already know ~ spanking. 

Actually, we had more than one of everything.  Not bad for about 20 hours together.   And even slept too! 

It was a whirlwind of pleasure.  i was half dazed  – functioning, but in some odd kind of way.   Mostly coherent, but partly lost in – o, yeah, that’s right – subspace.  That’s what it was.  

We work together pleasuring His cock.  He lets me take the lead -really, sometimes  my mouth just takes over.   i  taste and sense and savor;  i can feel what His cock wants next.    Then He shifts the rhythm, His hands in my hair, adjusts the angle so it hits my mouth a little differently.  i am learning what He likes.   His cock has its own desires.

We are in no hurry.  It is not about cuming, not yet.  i am happy sucking, licking, pleasing.  Enjoying the lovely cock filling my mouth.  When it’s time, the rhythm will change again, get serious.  The vein will throb so fiercely, i’ll feel it, and know.   Then, swirling tongue and sampling give way to steady sucking…

But that was then.   And it’s ok that He’s gone.  He had other stuff to do.  i’ll see Him again in a couple of weeks. 

i’m fine.

Really.

My orgasms were lovely too – with the little boxy vibrator, which is almost too much, almost doesn’t feel right, until at last it does.  The pleasure rises, not to a sharp peak and over – it rises to a lovely plateau – can that be right?  But it does – it hits the plateau and lingers and just when i think i’m stuck, it flows and rolls over and down, and then there’s another series of plateaus, each one a little more mellow, more pleasant than the one before.   O, so nice.

And it was so short a time. 

i’m not complaining.   It just was.

i’m fine.

i am.

Ok, i’m not. 

i’m on a stupid emotional roller coaster again.   And of course i don’t like it.  Frigging needy feelings just make me mad at myself.  

He pulls me so close to Him, and then He’s gone again.  i’m left grasping at air, struggling to keep my balance.   Crying almost before He’s out the door.  The feeling of His hand in my hair lingers.  Nipples tender, pussy still wet and ready.

i bounce in and out of that space  ~ buzzed on memories  ~ lonesome and sad ~ calm and at peace ~ over and over again.     

This evening, He IM’s me, we chat for a long time, and that helps.  i will text him Good Night, and that will help.

And – i will think of the Tibetan monks, who work with great care to create a sand mandala: 

 
 

Creating the mandala

Practically one grain of sand at a time…
They’ll work on it all week.  And when it’s done, they’ll take it to the river, and ceremoniously let the wind and water carry their creation away.  It’s about impermanence, right? and not clinging to things.
 
Tibetan monks, exiled from their home and impoverished, often seem to have smiles that transform and delight. 

With all the wonderful things in my life, how could i not be happy too?

i will remember that this week.  It won’t stop the roller coaster, but  i may remember to hold on, and let go.

6 Responses to “On Saturday…”

  1. nilla October 11, 2010 at 7:28 am #

    Yes, i understand that ride. huggggg. i am glad for you, the time you had together sounds sooo goood. so goood.

    nilla

  2. Mick October 11, 2010 at 7:50 am #

    We are spoiled here in the Collins’ household. Hope the day looks up while the good memories linger.

    and we made that reservation!

  3. sin October 11, 2010 at 8:20 am #

    Aisha, I think the highs are higher and the lows are lower when you live this way. I think one goes with the other. As you say it’s a roller coaster. I’m not sure what makes it that way, but I know it’s a bit the same for me. And if you can’t handle the lows, you can’t have the highs. Does that make sense?

  4. prima angel oasis October 11, 2010 at 9:13 am #

    I understand more than I can express aisha. hugs…..

  5. mouse October 11, 2010 at 7:12 pm #

    aisha,

    sounds like wonderful time! The ups and downs, highs and lows are well worth it. D/s burns hotter than anything…

    Hugs,
    mouse

  6. aisha October 11, 2010 at 8:31 pm #

    @’Nilla – Thanks for the hug – and yes, it was excellent… No complaints here.

    @Mick – Youall are spoiled! lol Thanks very much – my day was good, so that helps.

    And I’m psyched about the reservation!!!

    @Sin – You’re right – Yes. Yes. Yes. And yes, it makes perfect sense. My reasonable mind totally gets it. Emotional mind? Not so much. But I’ve spent a lot of my life making sure my emotions were under control, measured and balanced. Making sure my reasonable mind ruled. It’s probably time to learn more about roller coasters. Thanks for the thoughts!

    @Prima – I know. Thank you. And many hugs for you too!

    @Mouse – You’re soooo right! It does burn hotter. And i love it. Thank you!!!

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