M & M Munch (Part II)

8 Nov

The munch is already crowded when we get there; they are bringing in dessert for the buffet and people are milling around talking.  It’s nice to discover how many people i already know – well, there are tons of people i don’t know, but still. 

Minx is there, and we’ve know each other for years in a variety of contexts.  (That’s a different story…)  But she introduces me to several people she knows, and shows me some cuffs she made that are really cool.  They fasten with heavy duty velcro, and are soft and furry inside.  i meet one of the vendors for the evening, and a couple of other people.  It’s nice to meet her friends.

Ok, it is, like Mick says, a Kinky Kiwanis club, only of course if feels different moving to the inside of it.   It no longer feels so strange to be in a room full of kinky people.   There are people from several different cities, and i’m delighted to see Dan and Dawn.  They were – or at least He was – doing the Scarlet Sanctuary  experience when Sir and i were at Cope.  They were selected Great Lakes area (or region?)  Master and Slave of 2010 because they exemplify what the relationship between a slave and master should be.

They’re held in high regard in the community, and i think they have an aura of goodness that permeates everything they do.  i’m very glad to see them, and Dawn hugs me warmly, which makes me feel like she values our connection too.   Dan is equally warm, and I’m excited to hear they’re doing a brief presentation  for the group.

 It’s toward the end of the munch when they begin presenting, walking back and forth in front of and through the crowd, engaging the audience.  They talk about the four steps to having a Master/slave relationship – Think about it, Talk about it, Write it, and Do it.  Their presentation focuses on the last two steps, and i appreciate their common sense approach.

But what really hits home for me is the two minute presentations they do afterwards – Dan talks about being a master, Dawn on being a slave.  Dan focuses on the sense of responsiblity a Master or Dom has, and the need for integrity and honor. 

It always touches me deeply to hear those values upheld.   Maybe more so for me because i’ve had some relationships where my partner’s sense of responsiblity was negligible.  For me, it’s still a powerful experience to hear a man speak those values, and to know that he lives them sincerely, the very best he can.   

And then Dawn talks.  She talks about mindfulness, and how essential that is for a slave (or a sub.)  That resonates with me because i work at being mindful – staying in the moment – myself a lot of the time, and teach the concept and the practice to my clients.  She describes it so beautifully – the difference it makes in providing loving service.  

Mindfulness happens naturally in the intensity of play.  When someone’s spanking my ass, i’m probably not thinking about paying my bills or my next dentist appointment.  If a thought or two slips in, the sensation of pain, maybe mixed with pleasure, is likely to pull me back to the moment, keep my focus on what’s happening right here and now.  Orgasms are an ultimate mindful experience, right?  Total awareness and focus on the sensations of the moment. 

So Dawn describes the difference between getting Dan a cup of coffee when she’s not mindful and when she is.  It’s a beautiful example, and if it didn’t have such a lovely kink element, i’d start using it with my clients.  i’ll have to see if i can adapt it a little… 


Dawn’s talk sets the tone for the evening.  It hones my focus, and reminds me of what the evening, the lifestyle, and power exchanges are about.

i believe there’s a spiritual element to BDSM – i’ve talked a little about that before, and i know that some of my readers share the feeling.  For me, the essence of the experience is not the play, much as i love that part of it.  But  serving Sir, even just in the small ways i’m able to do,  is the true turn on for me.   And –

hang with me here –

it links nicely with St. Therese of  Lisieux, whose focus was similar to the more recent Mother Theresa – doing small things with great love.

Which is not to say i do that very well.  i’m reminded of all the times i don’t remember to be mindful – Sunday morning, i’m blogging and Sir asks me to bring Him something – oh, nail clippers, if i had any, which of course i did.  And i get them for Him, but it was only after i sat back down that i realize i hadn’t been mindful about it.  

So i stop blogging and take a breath.  i think about Him for a moment, let my feelings about Him run through me.  Then i walk – mindfully – back to the bedroom, and kiss His cheek.  He looks at me a little funny – it must have seemed strange – but smiles, and goes back to cutting His nails.  

i go back to blogging, happily.

Understand – this is certainly not something He requires of me.  At no point has Sir suggested i need to do anything other than {laughing} bring Him the nail clippers, or whatever.  But it ties together doesn’t it? 

The rope panties are designed to keep me aware of Him and our relationship in that moment.   Every time they tighten through my crotch, as i sit or shift my weight, i feel His presence in my life.  His hand on me, so to speak… {smiling}

Being mindful with Him is as much about my pleasure as His.  It’s the lovely cyclical experience – it feels good to me, and it pleases Him, which feels good to me and makes me want to do more of it.  Which then – feels good to me.  And so on… and on.   Even thinking about it, writing about it, turns me on, makes me squirm a little right now.

So as we leave the munch, i carry Dawn’s words with me.  i think i am already moving into subspace, finding the center of myself and moving my focus more deeply to Him.  And the dungeon awaits us… 

i’m going to pause my story here – tomorrow i’ll finish the great adventures of the weekend.

“…it is often more difficult to remember to be mindful than to be mindful itself. (p. 47)”
Donald Rothberg (The Engaged Spiritual Life: A Buddhist Approach to Transforming Ourselves and the World)


8 Responses to “M & M Munch (Part II)”

  1. Mick November 8, 2010 at 6:34 am #

    I need to work on that mindful thing. Good ideas…

    • aisha November 8, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

      Thanks, Mick – but I always get the impression that you already know about it, the way you describe your – um, attentions to your Mistress!


  2. nilla November 8, 2010 at 9:12 am #

    i think we all need constant work on being mindful…this life is just full of distractions…and that’s why it’s called a “practice”….coz we have to keep working on it, which keeps us woking on ourselves, our relationships with our partners, clients, coworkers…and in D/s context, those whom we serve.

    and yuppers…there is not any greater mindfulness than to be spanked…fuck my Discover card…i’m only aware of His hand, and my glowing ass….


    a wonderfully delicious piece, Aisha! Sexy brain food.


    • aisha November 8, 2010 at 8:10 pm #

      Yes, I think you’re right – it’s all about practicing it, and it does affect every aspect of our lives…

      However – do you think being spanked is more mindful than an orgasm?? It lasts longer, so that’s good, but I think orgasm wins…

      Thanks, Nilla!



  3. nilla November 8, 2010 at 8:36 pm #

    what about having an orgasm while being spanked…the ultimate mindfulness!!


    • aisha November 8, 2010 at 8:37 pm #

      LOL – O, yes! Hadn’t even thought about that… whew.

  4. nilla November 8, 2010 at 8:48 pm #

    Himself will often smack mypussy with a rythmic thumping slap, firm, steady, like a bass drum setting tempo…

    in the moment with every breath, awaiting the next while dealing with the first, and being aware of my body’s responses…the thudding pain, the thrumming of my loins, the sudden upswelling of pain/pleasure mixed so inextricably …and when i cum tis like a tidalwave of sensation….

    thanks for that memory….gods i love that …


  5. aisha November 8, 2010 at 8:50 pm #

    Yeah, my “Himself” does the same thing! LOL

    And yes. Yes. Yes!!

    thanks for sharing!


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