Kinky Discussions

22 Nov

Thirty or thirty-five kinsters gather to discuss how to find a relationship.  Eight or nine doms, nearly twice that many subs, and six or seven switches.  Ages ranging from 21 to – well, at least 54.  I don’t know how old Ms. C. is, but i may have been the oldest of the group.  (A strange feeling still, since i spent the first half of my life always being the youngest in the room.) 

We start out with the whole group together.  Ms. C reads a list of starter questions – ‘How do you tell your vanilla friends you met?”  “What roadblocks are there for you to finding a relationship?”  “What would you tell someone who was new to the community about how to find a relationship?”  and many more.  Lots of laughter and fun answers, but really, too many people for any kind of intimate exchange.   And – yes, Doms tend to – well, dominate the discussion.  The switches speak out, and a few subs are talkative, but Doms are expected to lead, right?   

And it’s not that the subs don’t have anything to say, and we’re not intimidated, but we’re listening and not interrupting, and generally being subs.   So after a while, we break up into our groups, which gives us a little more psychic room to talk. 

Our group is mostly young women – one man, which makes me think of Mick.   The group leader directs us into sharing stories about relationship mistakes and roadblocks.  A lot of funny things.   i won’t share them here; they’re personal stories.  

Have i mentioned that i’m fairly old?  And a therapist.  And –

– i want very much to connect, to belong to this group. 

And maybe i begin to.  There is one woman, J, who i’ve met and talked with before, and i think we have a connection. 

But mostly i don’t talk, and when i do, i feel awkward.  Like i’ve – talked too much?  Told the wrong story?  i don’t know.    Understand, that is probably me, not them.   Or {laughing} maybe i did talk too much, or tell the wrong story.

i feel like – like i’m one of their mother’s friends, sitting in, trying to belong.  It’s not that i’m age-ist, or not too much.  i have a group of friends, many of whom are my daughter’s age, who i dearly love and value and appreciate.    But i’ve earned space in that group over the years, and i’ve been like a mentor to some of the young women.   Of course i can’t walk in off the street and have that kind of relatedness here.  

i know it takes time.  i know i need to be patient.   {Laughing}  Maybe i’m an acquired taste.  Like caviar. 

But – they explained how the BDSM community is different from high school.    Which made me feel like i was back in high school.  Which is really uncomfortable for me.   And a really, really long time ago.  Thank goodness.

Sigh.

i’m spoiled, and it’s partly your fault.  Yes, Sfp, and ‘Nilla, and Mick, and Sin, and Donna, and Alisha, and Greengirl, and KK, and Kellyred, and Sugarandspite, and Florida Dom, and WC, and Beast/Master, and all of you.  i want to have discussions with youall.  i want to have a kinky bloggers convention.  Do they have those?  Could we all meet up at one?    Can you imagine how much fun that would be?

i still have a post half written in my head about the role of protecters and other ideas that Sfp and Sin triggered for me.  But anyhow.  Let me wrap up my report on the discussion group.

Afterwards, the groups join together again.  We discuss ideas for the topics for the next year, and later i get a chance to talk with Ms. C, and i do feel more connected with her, so that’s a good thing.  i’m glad i went.  It’ll be easier next time, i think.   Yes, i’m going again.  i do want to be part of the community.

And, no, Mick, none of the kinky furniture got used… unless it happened after i left.  

i miss Sir D.  i miss talking to Him.  Miss –

-there’s no point in talking about it now.  Almost two more weeks.   

i feel like i’m on hold.  Listening to elevator music.  i want –

i want to be touched, to be held.  i want to touch and hold.  i want – you already know – i want caresses and slaps – the sting of His hand on my inner thigh, on my pussy, smacking til i want to press my legs together, til i want to roll over to escape the slaps.  i want His cock in my mouth.  i want to cum; i want trembling, shaking, over the top orgasms.   i want to be controlled and directed and – o, interesting – i want to be connected.  

Most of all, i want to be connected.

No point in talking about it now.  Tune in tomorrow for fantasies of a submissive at loose ends…

8 Responses to “Kinky Discussions”

  1. sin November 22, 2010 at 7:39 am #

    I think I laughed out loud at the idea of Doms dominating conversations. They most certainly do. But i confess that I do too. I’m a bossy extrovert and I can hog the conversation with the best of them. I do try to give everyone a chance to talk and I do listen but… I hof the airwaves.

    And yes Aisha, it would be fun to have us all together to talk and talk and talk.

    • aisha November 22, 2010 at 6:46 pm #

      @Sin – Then it would have been fun for me if you’d been there last night! But don’t let me mislead you – I can talk. And talk. And tell stories. And talk some more. For sure, there are times that I (gasp) dominate the conversation!

      But I am slow to warm up. It takes me a while. So maybe if you’d been there last night, you’d have broken the ice for me!

      hugs,

      aisha

  2. nilla November 22, 2010 at 8:35 am #

    This sounds like a good place to grow into…

    and i, too, wish there was a place where we could meet…exchange hugs, and stories, and breath in each others spirit for awhile…

    and listen and talk incessantly and …and..cry and hug and heal and smile and giggle and laugh and share naughty stories.

    we need to create a sub chat room somewhere where we can all bang around, and share. i have no idea how to do it, or when we’d all be around to chat. but…it could be fun…

    nilla

    • aisha November 22, 2010 at 6:48 pm #

      @’Nilla – Yes! We need our own chat room! That would be tooooo fun!

      So – who’s our teckie sub? I know you’re out there. How do we do it?

      aisha

  3. Mick November 22, 2010 at 2:13 pm #

    that Dom / sub ratio is pretty interesting…. do some of those Doms have a harem?

    and it does not surprise me that you are a good and perceptive listener, AIsha.

    You guys are always welcome to schedule a bloggers convention at our SW hideaway….There are some nice solid wooden posts that hold up the portal that could be very …. useful.

    • aisha November 22, 2010 at 6:52 pm #

      @Mick –

      Actually, yes, some of them pretty much do have, um, what could be called harems. If by that you mean one of them and several subs…

      And – here’s an interesting tidbit of information for you – while submissive women are pretty much – well, let’s say we’re easy to find – submissive men are a hot item in great demand by the femdommes. I’m just saying.

      Omigod – blogger convention at M&M’s hideaway! That would be frigging amazing!!!!

      Youall are laughing, but great ideas have to start somewhere, right?

      hugs,

      aisha

  4. The Beast November 22, 2010 at 7:30 pm #

    I made the list, yay! lol.

    A kinky bloggers convention would be too fun.

    And I swear, I am like the only introverted-by-nature dom out there. Of course I can lead a conversation if I feel like it, but I prefer to observe conversations from the periphery… make observations… and sneak in the perfect comment when it’s time. I like to think of myself as the strong silent type, lol.

    • aisha November 22, 2010 at 7:34 pm #

      @Beast – You know, it’s funny, we were actually saying last night that there are a bunch of you introverted Dom types out there – but that you don’t show up at discussion groups!

      I’m glad you’re in for the blogger convention!

      Hugs,

      aisha

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