Verbal touch… and then

2 Dec

Physical touch is so powerful and so pleasant, it surprises me that verbal touch is my favorite language of love.  Maybe that’s because it’s more universal.  There are lots of people we’re not supposed to touch physically.   Or can’t touch.  Verbal touch is always an option.

And i thought it would be easy to write this piece.  Instead, i’m struggling. Looking for words to describe the power of words. 

It’s not about affirmations – you know, the “i’m good enough, smart enough, loveable enough” thing.  It’s not even about validation – recognizing and acknowledging what people are thinking and feeling.  Or – it is both of those things, but not at the heart. 

Maybe after all this, i don’t have words for the words i love…

Back many years ago, when i was doing some therapeutic work of my own, i had a therapist named Dave.  Sometimes i’d be up at 4 o’clock in the morning, writing and thinking, and i’d get overwhelmed with – feelings.  Sadness, pain, grief, despair – you know – that stuff we work on in therapy. 

And i’d call Dave’s office – back in the day, he wouldn’t even know he’d missed a call.  i’d listen to his message, “Hello, you’ve reached the office of…” in his voice.  And i’d feel better.  i wouldn’t leave a message, i’d just listen and feel better. 

Sometimes, i’d call more than once. 

Once, when i 19 or 20, i was talking to my psychology professor, explaining why i hadn’t finished something i’d promised to do.  He looked at me with his kind eyes and said, “You’re really having a hard semester, aren’t you?” – and i burst into tears.  Ten minutes, and a bunch of kleenex, later, i felt so much better.

It was his words that touched me in the right spot – that opened the door for my tears and the healing.

My mother’s voice, saying my name.  My daughter, who still calls me “Mama.”   My friend Ruth, who just has to say “hello” to make me smile.    JM, the amazing analyst, whose voice can also soothe and heal and open the floodgates.  

The power isn’t just the words, is it?  Or – is it that words they’ve already said have built a link, and now just the voice is enough?  i don’t know.

His voice.  Sir’s voice.

i type those words, and get shivers through my body.  He is back from His vacation – well, back in where-He-lives, which is not so far from where-i-live.  We talked yesterday, twice.

{Smiling}

Seeing His name pop up on my phone is nice.  Hearing His voice is even better.   And then the words…  sometimes, i can’t think of what i want to say because i’m just wrapped up in listening to Him.  His voice – the verbal touch – carries so much with it.  It carries –

– the feelings i have where i left myself yesterday, on my knees on a blanket beside the fireplace, ass raised, head down, my hands behind me, opening my self for Him.  My Sir is behind me, His legs touching mine, His body pressed against mine, His cock poised

         – at the entrance to  – o, yes, i’ll say it easily – poised at my asshole – and then…

 i’m holding my breath cause i feel Him push – pushing His cock, which is wet and slippery from my pussy.  Pushing it into, opening me more, more than He already had.  And then –

“Breathe,” He says, and His voice is so normal and gentle that i relax and start breathing again.  And that opens me – and He slides deeper – He is starting to fill me – and for just a second i get a wave of panic again, almost that “sick at my stomach, i can’t do this” feeling and then…

He pulls back a little, it feels like He’s leaving, and i don’t want Him to – i want Him inside me – want Him to take me.  “O – Sir – please…”

“Please?” He says.  “Please what?”  He is poised, inside me but barely.

i know the words, i know the words i want to say, they’re right there – “Please, Sir, please fuck me in the ass.”  i sigh, a sigh of relief, of contentment.  “Please, Sir”

And He pushes forward again, burying Himself deeper inside me.  It stretches me, but i am relaxed and i welcome it, pushing myself back against Him.   i am totally open to Him, as if i have no bones, no muscle.  i belong to Him.

And He fucks me, pushes all the way into me.  i am pinned down, caught, taken, possessed.    Making noises – a gasp, a moan,  a whimper – omigod.   Loving the feeling of being His.

And then – “Touch yourself,” He says.  “Touch your pussy.”  Surprised, i obey, my hand goes to my pussy, my swollen lips, wet and slippery.  i caress myself, rubbing the button of pleasure – rubbing my clit.  And quickly, the feeling begins to build.

The fullness, the sensation of being taken, His cock fucking me, and the tingling, vibrating, rising pleasure and then i am going up – up – all my sensations focused there – between my legs, between my ass cheeks, in those few inches of space – omigod – going up higher – and then –

i am tumbling over the top, crying out, shaking, trembling, tumbling over the top and back down….  crying His name.  

Collapsing, spent, finished, feeling Him thrusting  deep into me, welcoming it, pressing back into Him, wanting Him deeper, wanting Him all – until He is there too – over the top –

                                              and i hear Him cry out, and His cock throbs, and i feel the heat as He explodes inside me.

And then, lying there, finished, drained, complete, His body relaxed as well, weighing on my back, i feel His hand touch my hair, His breath on my neck. 

“Good girl,” He says. 

*****************************************************

Friday i will see Him, just today left in my countdown – and then tomorrow He will be here.  {Smiling…}

 

 

13 Responses to “Verbal touch… and then”

  1. strivingforpeace December 2, 2010 at 6:45 am #

    Lovely the way you can make me want something I don’t like.

    and lovely that he is back

    I know that you’ve had your moments when you have not felt serene — but these past few days — using your words to describe love — and the openness with which you’ve shared your feelings about love — are a lovely gift — to us

    and to him

    sfp

    • aisha December 2, 2010 at 7:36 am #

      @sfp –

      And i could have talked about the verbal touch of comments like this… thank you. Thank you very much.

      Namaste.

      aisha

  2. greengirl December 2, 2010 at 7:20 am #

    I have often thought that if I had to choose one physical sensation to describe submission, the feeling of being entered and filled this way would be pretty close. You’ve done such a perfect job describing it, and all the emotions associated with it. Thank you so much for sharing this story.

    • aisha December 2, 2010 at 7:39 am #

      @GG,

      Believe me, it was my pleasure… {smiles}

      Thank you for your words – i’m so glad we have this connection.

      Namaste.

      aisha

  3. Mick and Molly December 2, 2010 at 7:56 am #

    glad to hear D is back in town…. sure is cold in this neck of the woods… but not a useful, fun cold…..Mick

    • aisha December 2, 2010 at 8:16 am #

      @mick – Yes, I’m glad He’s back – and glad you two are back where you belong too, even if it is nasty cold. And grey. And no fun… ok, sorry – maybe I’m not glad you’re back!

      hugs,

      aisha

  4. nilla December 2, 2010 at 8:12 am #

    verbal touch…needing the soft caress of vowels and consonants commingled with intent…

    the voice of Sir, the voice of my kids, from a screaming MOM to the softer, sleepy mummy…this feeds the spirit in a way nothing else does. Perhaps because i have less touch-love, words, spoken and read, touch me deeply.

    you captured the essence of it, beautifully.

    nilla

  5. nilla December 2, 2010 at 8:14 am #

    and the ass-fucking scenario was uber hawt…*btdt* and you *ahem* nailed it.

    ( i *had* to say it…consider it written touch of the insouciant sort!)

    n

    • aisha December 2, 2010 at 8:17 am #

      @’Nilla,

      Thank you, thank you…

      Yes – I can see hear my kids from when they were little. And in the grocery – a stray “Mommy!” can still make me turn around.

      “Nailed it.” Nice.

      {giggles}

      Namaste.

      aisha

  6. thesubmissivebf December 2, 2010 at 8:34 am #

    After reading this it made me think about last night when I heard a young boy call out Mom and instinctively I looked up to answer and later hearing “Sir’s” voice on the phone and I automatically became wet. Both were done without thought, through the power of voice.
    Thank you for your posting to remind me how powerful a voice can be.

    • aisha December 2, 2010 at 7:15 pm #

      @Submissivebf –

      Thank you!

      I started reading your blog the other day – wow – that’s some intense stuff.

      Thanks again for reading – and commenting…

      hugs,

      aisha

  7. The Beast December 2, 2010 at 5:45 pm #

    Aww… there’s only one “moar” left. I’ve enjoyed this series a bunch and will be sad to see it end. Excellent stuff.

    • aisha December 2, 2010 at 7:16 pm #

      @The Beast –

      What an adorable “moar!’ Thank you!!! And I’m so glad you enjoyed it….

      hugs,

      aisha

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