20 Jan

…our responsiveness to being “polished” by Doms – stroked and petted, whipped and fucked, tortured and teased… is, i think, the same thing that puts us at risk in vanilla relationships.  In my experience – personal and professional –  abusive relationships often start with that high level of attentiveness, the constant postitive feed of endorphins.

The content may be different – lots of “you’re the perfect woman,” “you make me happy,” “you’re just right for me,” “I’ve never met anyone like you.”   Because he does feel happy, at that point.  And he does  attribute his happiness to “her.”   Being in love is heavenly, and he savors it as much, maybe more, than anyone.

The problem, of course, is that later on, when he feels unhappy (as we all do at times), he will attribute THAT to her also.  And expect her to fix it.

Part of the beauty of BDSM is that it directs that energy, shifts it, clarifies it.  Factors in consent and responsibility.  Defines expectations.  And so on.  It becomes a whole different thing, with beauty and power.  It can fuel growth and healing and all kinds of good things.  

That energy can lead to all kinds of good things.  Doesn’t necessarily, but it can.

And i don’t know where i’m going with this, not anywhere in particular, i guess.  Just things i think about in my spare time, right?

i’ve been super busy this week, and weeks like this make me realize how many pots i have simmering on the stove, so to speak.  i wonder  – if i decided to just focus on one thing – one extra thing, not work or family or friends – and  complete it – i wonder what that would be like.   

And – on still a different note – the weather forecast here in Where-i-Live is calling for about an inch of snow this afternoon.  High of 33.  And we have about 12 counties out in rural areas that have called off school.  Right now, as i write this, there’s a dusting of snow on the grass, and some schools are closed.  {shakes head.}  Just crazy.

But we like it that way around here.  We’re disappointed if we don’t get our snow day, and if they’ve gotten us all stirred up, we’ll just go ahead and take the day, snow or no snow.  {laughing}  

We can pretend it's really bad.

And shoot – i just thought of something i need to do this morning before work.  Yikes.  Preparations for an event i’m going to tonight… and i said i’d bring some stuff.  Ok.

It’s a ho-hum post anyhow, cause i have no time, and am in an odd head space.  

 Too much going on.  i hardly have time this week to read anyone else’s blogs, and half the time i’m just reading and not commenting cause there’s just no time.   So on that note – scattered, and just a wee bit overwhelmed – i’m going to get my day started. 

Hope yours is good… 


4 Responses to “But…”

  1. hidden slave January 20, 2011 at 6:47 am #

    Hope your day went well

  2. Mick January 20, 2011 at 7:42 am #

    Just make sure you don’t freeze any body parts…. they’ve canceled school up river here too. Crazy. Lazy.for just a dusting.

    be careful out there, AIsha.

  3. sin January 20, 2011 at 8:31 am #

    Scornful look from Canada at snow days for a dusting of snow.

  4. aisha January 20, 2011 at 4:22 pm #

    @Hs – yes – they ended up (“they” being our corporate office) closing all the sites at 3:00, so I’m home and get a break before my next activity. Which is nice.

    @Mick – yep, it’s amazing, isn’t it.

    @Sin – O, you’d be way beyond scornful if you could see us. They closed our offices at 3 – decided to do it at noon, before the snow ever started. At 4:20, we have maybe an inch in my driveway. None on the road cause they’ve been putting brine down for ages… O, well. The truth is, we apparently like a little drama and excitement and the opportunity to go home early. Who am I to complain?


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