The Fantasy Man

27 Jan

i can’t picture Him – i don’t know what He looks like.  Don’t know what He sounds like.  Don’t know where He lives, or what He does for a living.

He is more elusive than frigging Santa Claus.

He is someone i can respect.  Look up to in some ways.  Maybe even admire.  Someone who knows who He is, and isn’t afraid to be Himself.

He is strong, and gentle, and wise.  Funny and sweet.  Rough and demanding.

His hands stroke my face, twist my hair, spank my ass…  His hands smack my pussy, caresses my cheek, pull me to Him.  He holds me tight, bodies pressed together. 

His fingers rub my clit, grasp my nipples, slide inside my pussy, pressing up, pressing til He takes me up and up and – over the top

                    – tumbling down – gasping and moaning His name…

More elusive than frigging Santa Claus, He is.

He listens to me, and understands me.   He wants me to grow, while He grows Himself too, and between us we create a relationship that transcends who either of us are alone.  My submission and His dominance combine in an alchemy of the heart.

He knows that the symbolic has power beyond the concrete, and that magic trumps mundane.  Grounded firmly in reality, His spirit soars in other realms. 

Together, we fly.

 **************************************************** 

i’ve lost all sense of Him, can’t even imagine Him today.  Can’t feel Him out there.  More elusive than frigging Santa Claus in mid-July.   

And i resist – i struggle with  being open – want to turn away. 

 

i don't want to be open

 

9 Responses to “The Fantasy Man”

  1. Mick January 27, 2011 at 5:54 am #

    thought we were done with holiday tunes.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OfqZmlfQEto

  2. greengirl January 27, 2011 at 6:00 am #

    Being open is sometimes really hard work. Can you think of it as letting yourself rest and rejuvenate a bit? Not closed and turned away, just catching your breath.

  3. sin January 27, 2011 at 7:15 am #

    Your ideal man understands responsibility too, and wants to take it as you yearned for in your posts on responsibility from 10 days ago

    I think that you are in a hurry now and that’s not a great way to find someone. I don’t feel eloquent at all today but greengirl’s advice is good.

  4. aisha January 27, 2011 at 8:29 am #

    @mick – laughing – great choice. I thought maybe you’d do “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” but this is better!

    @GG – Yes. Ok, yes. Thanks

    @Sin – yes. I’m hearing youall. You don’t have to be eloquent, you’re just right. Guess I’d better go back and read what I wrote about responsibility too, huh?

    aisha

  5. nilla January 27, 2011 at 11:29 am #

    elusive? yes. certainly that. Yet..i want to say that i know he is out there. Likely waiting, just as you are…for His perfect mate…

    and i want to say..try Fet. And i know how much it sux being between…

    HUG,

    and much sister-love,

    nilla

  6. J January 27, 2011 at 1:05 pm #

    I think not being able to picture your fantasy man is a very good step in the right direction. A fantasy man is just that: a fantasy. No real man could ever live up to him. By holding on to a perfect image you might be closing yourself to a wonderful human being. Perhaps you are opening, after all?

    Jx

  7. aisha January 27, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

    @’Nilla – ok, I’m hanging in there, really i am… and I’m on Fet – have been for a long time…

    He’ll come when he’s frigging ready, right?

    @Jx – Yeah, that’s true too. Although, I don’t think I’m caught up in him being perfect. I don’t know. That’s the real problem, you know, or part of it. Not trusting myself at this point, my own judgement…

    Thanks so much for commenting…

    aisha

  8. cultivateddiscipline February 5, 2011 at 9:05 pm #

    You sound like me,,, I need to read more,,, that feeling,,,, that longing, sigh CD

    • aisha February 6, 2011 at 4:58 am #

      Yeah, it’s really hard, isn’t it? And I’m tired of it – tired of waiting and longing and all that… and it’s still all I can really do right now.

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