In a Week…

18 Feb

Last night, BR and i were talking and something happened – i don’t quite know how to describe it – well, ok, i do – last night i was taken in hand.  i don’t mean we suddenly developed  a 1950’s relationship – and don’t expect that to happen – ever.  But He took control, and i relaxed into that quite happily.

You know i love that phrase “taken in hand.”  For me, it conjures images of a firm hand at the reins of a runaway horse, calmly and certainly bringing the horse back under control.   Keeping everyone safe.  Calming the horse too.  And then later, schooling the horse to provide valuable service, to be well-used, rather than running wild.   

It’s funny, because by anyone’s standards, i have great self-control.   But –

We were talking about my anxiety, and He pretty much just said, “Worry time is over, I’m in control now.”  And youall know how it is, something inside me melted.  i felt that promise move through my whole body.

i’ m not worried anymore.  

He said i’d been pushing His limits – and maybe so, but i didn’t realize that was what i was doing.   i think He’d been “giving me my head” to use another horse analogy.   {“not having a contact on the mouth and letting it go where it wants…”} 

And i had been wandering – and getting more and more anxious.   So it feels good that i’ve been taken in hand.

i may not have mentioned this before – BR considers Himself a Master, rather than a”Sir.”  i knew this.  Sometimes, i had the urge to call Him a title of respect, and could have easily called Him “Sir.”  

He was clear that He didn’t want to be called “Sir.”

i’ve hesitated to call Him “Master.”   i wasn’t sure He wanted me to, so it seemed dreadfully presumptuous.  And Master seems so much more intense – i thought i should meet Him before i took that step, if i was ever going to take it. 

Last night, He said i am to call Him “Master”  – that it wasn’t optional.

Do youall know what that did to me?

Yes.  My pussy started throbbing and a shiver ran through me. 

i haven’t felt that way in a while.

It was lovely.

Yes, we both know He’s not actually “my” Master, because that would be a huge committment, and neither of us is ready for that.  But we are trying it on a little bit.

i booked my flight last night.  It’s a done deal.  i didn’t get the “you can cancel and get a refund” ticket, even though there is the remote possiblity that a family emergency could keep me here.   But i’m committed. 

We have a hotel room.   Ok, i have a hotel room – yes, i could still change my mind, and i’d still have a weekend to be there on my own.   But, um, i don’t think that’s going to happen.

He has plans for what toys He’s bringing, some of which He’s shared with me.   i think spankings will be involved. 

i’m not afraid. 

Yes, i will still be cautious, i’ll still do all my safe call stuff.  But it’s going to be fine.  More than fine.

And exactly one week from today – i’ll be there. 

 

5 Responses to “In a Week…”

  1. thesubmissivebf February 18, 2011 at 8:01 am #

    I am so happy for you!

  2. nilla February 18, 2011 at 8:38 am #

    Happy dancin with you, aisha!

    it seems like He is learning you, your needs, your fears….i am so thrilled for you. There is nothing like the Voice giving that tone that makes us melt inside…and obey.

    Hugs,

    nilla

  3. sweet kk February 18, 2011 at 10:53 am #

    Thrilling, exciting, lovely and wonderful… Just keep a bit of your head about you, ok? Handing over the reins (to extend the metaphor) completely should only really come with time. As you know, Sir accessed me pretty quickly… It’s all so seductive… But there was still a piece of me left… Away from Him… For a good long while. I think only time can give you the 100% green light.

    Very excited and hopeful for you, Aisha!!

    kk

  4. slave alisha February 18, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

    i am so happy for you Aisha. hugs

  5. aisha February 18, 2011 at 6:15 pm #

    Thank you all for the happy words – it’s funny, I’m not so much thrilled-excited, as just kind of quietly pleased and anticipating…

    @Kk – thank you particularly for the reminder – I appreciate that. And I stopped and thought hard about where I am right now.

    For what it’s worth, I have a vast reservoir of common sense and over 50 years experience taking care of myself-I promise to pack those things along with me. Don’t worry. I have not handed over a lot of power, AND He’s not pushing hard.

    Hugs,

    aisha

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