A Question

12 Apr

So i was thinking ~ um, not for the first time ~ about my single status.  Or my status as a single person, to be more clear.  i’d just about decided it’s time to do the:  “i know i’ll never find anyone, so i’m not even looking anymore.  i’ll be alone the rest of my life, and that’s ok, i can be happy by myself…”

blah, blah, blah thing.

~ not so much because i totally believe it, but because i believe if i can convince myself that i’ll be fine alone ~~~~

             ~~~~ then i’ll meet someone!

Right?  Like when i was pregnant.  {This was pre-everyone getting ultrasounds and finding out what gender it is…} Everyone thought it was a boy.  Of course, i was ok with whatever gender it was, just wanted a healthy baby and all that, AND i would have liked a girl.  So i convinced myself it was a boy and totally accepted that and ~ ta dum ~ she was a girl. 

Magical thinking.  i know it’s not for real.  i know.  But i still do it.  And… it works.  {laughing}

But then i got to thinking.  Some people do that “positive visualiztion” thing instead.  They imagine themselves in whatever situation they want and put all kinds of energy into thinking that’s exactly what’s going to happen.

Of course, i think that’s magical thinking too, and i don’t believe it “works” either.  i don’t think we control the world with our thoughts.  But i do think the energy we create with our thoughts makes a difference sometimes.

So, i don’t think my daughter was a girl because of my magical thinking.  But i know that if i quit thinking about a relationship, sometimes one happens.  

O, but sometimes, i have to be clear with the universe about what i want before it happens.  Hmmm.  i had forgotten that.  i’ve been doing all this psychic work on asking for what i want.  Which is the opposite of convincing myself i don’t want it in order to get it.

And quite possibly this is all ridiculously anyhow.

But i got to wondering about other people.   Do youall do magical thinking?  Which kind?  If we were voting on it, {which we’re not, but if we were,} which way would you vote?

And i hear alt.com is worth a try.  Any thoughts on that?  Just in case i decide to go with positive visualization instead of opposite thinking…


18 Responses to “A Question”

  1. Mick April 12, 2011 at 6:07 am #

    It’s been a while since I tried. But I could never get lift off.

    • aisha April 12, 2011 at 6:10 am #

      Brilliant, Mick.

      And yeah, I never got off the ground either…


  2. nilla April 12, 2011 at 7:30 am #

    i do both sometimes. How’s that for fence sitting? its mostly used (the positive visualization) when i focus on creating time for Master.

    and sometimes i’ll do the negative thing…like just before i have to go to the dentist…imagining the worst case scenario, just to be prepared for it…then when something less happens…it’s such a good ‘relief’…

    as relates to the rest of my life? truly i’m so busy most times, that i don’t make time for me at all. no visualizing.

    about the only time i “get away” then is when i write.

    i really need to work on that, don’t i? Make time to meditate, make time to puth myself out there into the universe, instead of merely existing.

    Damn, you make me think!

    • aisha April 12, 2011 at 9:38 pm #


      I love the way I can feel the pleasure with your Master radiating from your comments even.

      I’m also convinced that imagining the worst keeps it from happening…

      And I think it’s very cool that you use the things I say to find your own deep wisdom.



  3. striving for peace April 12, 2011 at 8:10 am #

    I have a strange version.

    If I am worried that something bad has happened — for example — someone is late – -I’ll think — “gosh – -I hope they didn’t get in an accident”

    and then because I thought it?

    I think somehow it’s less likely to happen — because things like that are always unexpected — so my expecting it? lowers the chances.



    • aisha April 12, 2011 at 9:41 pm #

      @Sfp –

      Omigosh, no, that’s not insane at all. It totally works. AND – for me – there are things that I “have to” worry about. Like when my daughter’s traveling – there’s this optimal level of worry that I need to do. If somebody offered to “cure” me of it, I’d think they were nuts – I’m absolutely sure that me worrying that little bit helps keep her safe.

      Amazing, isn’t it?


  4. ahiddenslave April 12, 2011 at 8:26 am #

    aisha…I do both as well… I have a pair of sunglasses I got a few years ago and cant even mention about how long they have….see I cant do it, just in case it changes things.
    I stop looking for things when they are lost…convincing myself that I have accepted that I will not see them again and then try to pretend that I am not surprised when they turn up.
    Usually I try to visualize thing, events and changes that I want, hoping that the positive energy will halp it happen…but on the whole I think sometimes , for me at any rate, its more about the positive thoughts changing my attitude to the result rather than changing the result…if that makes sense.
    Sending positive thoughts.

    • aisha April 12, 2011 at 9:44 pm #


      How cool – that giving up on lost things works for you. I have to opposite approach with that – I pray to St. Anthony – I know, it’s a superstition. But I think it works because if I’m praying about it, I’m still thinking about it and staying alert to the possiblity of finding it. Either that, or St. Anthony is up there making it show up! In any case, it works.

      Yeah,I agree that it’s the attitude that can really make things change. And I think to some extent we do put out certain energy.


  5. Andi April 12, 2011 at 9:26 am #

    Here’s what I think: WARNING! Only thing worse than my kink is my crazy so be prepared.

    We truly have the power for our energy to change circumstances. Now, on the whole that statement seems vague, yes? With positive thinking and magical thinking just the same our demeanor changes. So scientifically does our pheromones. When you are happy or just more relaxed (not constantly thinking I have to date to find the perfect one!) the pressure is released from you. People become instantly more attractive a bit more mysterious. The “sexy” is back. I understand the discomforts of being single, and I know it hasn’t been for any real stretch of time. But I do understand, for I was married and alone. My mate having decided his activities were much more important than me. So what I’m going to do for you today aisha, is what my friends and I call a bubble. I’m sending it to you now, in the bubble you will find contentment and peace most of all love. Love for you and self love, to know you are worthy and deserving. To know that any panic or struggle or self doubt you feel about being single is only momentary.

    Alt.com I find you get about the same about of turn about as cm. Jerks and fakes and blah blah blah. The questionnaire is a bit more extensive so maybe your luck will be found at locating someone more compatible. Sign up for the free version, you can’t view profiles but people will see you. If you are liking it then pay for it. Good luck my friend and I hope your enjoy your day.

    • aisha April 12, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

      @Andi –

      Thanks for the bubble – I love that! And I feel it too…

      I didn’t realize alt.com cost money! Hmmmm, that’ll make me second think it.


    • aisha April 12, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

      @Andi, again – And really I think you’re right about our demeanor and our phernomes changing things. I don’t know why I can’t get to that happy space more quickly… it’s annoying. Instead I apparently need to go thru this whole process first….


      but I get there eventually.


      • Andi April 13, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

        You will I promise!!

  6. angel April 12, 2011 at 9:56 am #

    Excuse me, aisha…but really….how dare anyone suggest my car break doesn’t work! i mean, how else do you think cars that i am in stop? Magically thinking *rules*! i have a very grueling job what with all of my blind road watching, you know. No appreciation for my hard work, i see.

    So…from a physics standpoint…thoughts are real things, that have vibrations. i see no reason why our thoughts cannot affect an outcome.

    Okay….so….i think a combonation is the best course of action.

    i visualize what kind of things i do want.
    i meditate to look at the future without judgement and so i can recognize what it might feel like.

    And then i bless and release it because love, like any newborn thing, cannot survive best being held too tightly. i become willing to accept any outcome and i believe, genuinely, that whatever is best *will* happen.

    It makes sense to me to let friends know you are interested, what kinds of things you want, and let them help.

    i read quantum physics for fun. Try it some time. Basically, its the scientific reasoning behind the stuff of our childhood fantasies. It sort of makes you let go of all of the silly rules we made up. Because, you know, a few hundred years ago everyone *knew* we could never fly. Why, that is almost as stupid as thoughts being real things. 😀

    • Andi April 12, 2011 at 10:16 am #

      This was beautifully put!!

    • aisha April 12, 2011 at 9:56 pm #


      That is a perfectly beautiful description of a real way to manage situations like this. It’s wise and – exactly on target.

      I guess I will have to read some frigging quantum physics, my sister talks about it oftne too, and always seems vaguely surprised and disappointed that I haven’t already read whatever she’s talking about.

      “Why, that is almost as stupid as thoughts being real things.” – Laughing… you are too funny.

      {still laughing} I know. Thoughts are “real,” well in a way. Hey, I’m a cognitive behavioral therapist, I do, I know this stuff.



  7. knottylittlemonkey April 12, 2011 at 4:20 pm #

    Quite the can of worms you opened here, my Dear.

    I have struggled with magical thinking for most of my life. My problem? Thinking I don’t deserve good things, so I sabotage myself by my negative thought patterns.

    I know using positive visualizations works for some people, but you have to be able to accept positive outcomes for it to work. There have been some really amazing things happen for me, when I’m “on”. Staying “on” is the hard part.


  8. knottylittlemonkey April 12, 2011 at 4:25 pm #

    and of course it is much easier to work hard and see clearly when you are in a positive state of mind…so is it magical thinking, or positive thinking? For me maintaining an attitude of positive thinking is magical.

    “I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it”
    ~~~Thomas Jefferson

    • aisha April 12, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

      Great quote, Lm – I love that, and for sure, it’s true. Maybe what you’re saying is true for most of us. that positive thinking is magical!

      It has been quite a can of worms, hasn’t it? And I love it, hearing people’s opinions… Thanks for commenting!


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