My Assignment

17 Apr

My assignment this weekend is to send him all my slutty thoughts about him, which are almost too many to count, right?  So i was only sending them when i had a real break in the day, which cut back a little bit.   

But He doesn’t seem concerned that i’ll message Him too often.  In fact, He chides me for not being in touch more.  He says:

“You accepted a weekend assignment from Sir.  Trust me and follow your commands.”  

He says some other things, and i am amazed to discover ~ all over again ~ how incredibly hot it makes me to be told what to do.  And how to do it.  And to know that He’s taking control of this little piece of my world, and all i have to do is obey Him.

It connects with what Sfp was saying about not wanting to bother her Sir by asking, and Callie’s wonderful response that suggests maybe it’s not a bother to Him, that maybe they need that connection too.   i think i have not had much of that.  Sir D and MoR were more ~ i don’t know ~ more compartmentalized?   i don’t know.

Whatever.  i’m thinking that was just as well, because ~

~ clearly Sir C wants me in the middle of His day.  All over His day.   And i love that.

So here’s the thing.  i’m delighted and i’m scared to death.   

Delighted because – ok, maybe i shouldn’t even say this, but He’s kind of smitten with me.   Really.  And that’s sooooo nice.  So much fun.   And feels so good. 

And i like Him.  {Yes, Sir, i really do.  A lot.}  Considering that we haven’t met yet, i like Him a whole lot.

And scared to death because i like Him.  And because it might not actually go anywhere.  And maybe there won’t be any chemistry between us.  And i’ll feel stupid if i get all excited and then it fizzles.   And there are so many reasons not to trust.  To be afraid of falling.

 Yesterday, i was feeling all caution.   Ok, not all caution.   Lots of caution. 

But today ~ well ~ there’s a big billboard i pass on my way to work.  It says Judgement Day is actually coming this year.  May 21 to be exact.  So i think i should go ahead and enjoy the moment, right?  Just in case…

“If you risk nothing, then you risk everything.” – Geena Davis

9 Responses to “My Assignment”

  1. Mick April 17, 2011 at 6:54 am #

    Cataloging all those slutty thoughts could take a lot of time, AIsha.

    • aisha April 18, 2011 at 4:36 am #

      @Mick – No doubt! It was pretty much a full time job this weekend! {laughing} aisha

  2. striving for peace April 17, 2011 at 7:24 am #

    sounds like you both need to arrange to meet soon — or both of you risk disappointment

    I’m in the same boat
    We’ve met — but not privately

    and the Captain may be too Big/Bad for me – -I don’t want to be so smitten myself that I get sucked in

    sfp

    • striving for peace April 17, 2011 at 7:25 am #

      lol — love how I just made that about me.

      hopefully you guys can meet soon to protect you both

      sfp

    • sin April 17, 2011 at 8:41 am #

      I’m imagining SFP’s Captain with big wolfish teeth now, aren’t you?

    • aisha April 18, 2011 at 4:37 am #

      @Sfp –

      {laughing}

      You’re right though, we are in kind of the same boat. It’s ok if you make it about you too ~ I expect I’ll be doing the same thing, if I’m not already.

      And I hope we do hurry up and meet soon…

      hugs,

      aisha

  3. sin April 17, 2011 at 8:40 am #

    Hey wait, I thought the world wasn’t ending til December of 2012. I need more time! I’m sitting here thinking I have enough leave to take me til May 21. The way things have been going lately, I wouldn’t want to spend my last 6 weeks at work.

    And yes, like SFP, I made this about me. Giggle.

    Okay, back to you. Reading your post, I did have that aha moment. Of course, OF COURSE they want that connection too. It gives them power and connection. And that’s what they are in it for.

    And yes, sometimes it’s going to come at a less than ideal moment. When it’s not ideal they’ll ignore the text til they can check and deal with it. Sometimes the timing isn’t perfect for us either. It’s a balance, isn’t it? And we compartmentalize too, as required.

    Good luck. I think he sounds nice.

    • aisha April 18, 2011 at 4:42 am #

      I KNOW – I don’t know where this group got the date from, but there it is on a billboard, so it must be true, right?

      {laughing}

      Yes, and I really felt that this weekend. He didn’t expect me to be able to kept sending him my thoughts without encouragement, so he did respond sometimes, but when he did it was to encourage me to keep going even when he was doing something that kept him from answering right away.

      Thanks for the good luck wishes, we’ll see… {smiling}

      aisha

      • aisha April 18, 2011 at 4:44 am #

        Ooops, didn’t mean to make it sound like all he did was encourage me to keep going. You know, he’s doing that thing – that thing where we get sucked in, where it’s so sweet we can’t stay away and we want more… well, at least I do.

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