My Report

22 May

i had a good time last night at the swingers party.  i took a nap in the afternoon so i could stay up like the big girls, which was good.  

Several hours ahead of time, Bob texted me a picture of the device he made – he’s not calling it a fucksaw,  He’s calling it a “fucks-all.”  i think that’s right – because the saw was originally called a saws-all.  Or something like that.

Here is the one he made:

Anyhow.  i had fun getting ready.  i wore a short, tight skirt, and a black chemise with a black short sleeved thing over it.  The skirt is some kind of stretchy material, and has a wide waistband.  It hits a couple of inches above my knee, but i  turned the waistband up, like we used to do with our uniform skirts when we were in high school, so it was shorter.

However, once i got there, Bob didn’t seem dreadfully impressed with how short it was, so i rolled it one more turn.

i actually took a picture of myself – well, tried to.  i didn’t set it up right, but here’s the first one i took.

 i wore heels, of course, and felt quite sexy.   So i reset the camera, and started to go pose again.  Got this instead:

Reset and tried again:

Bob was waiting outside for me when i got there, which was sweet, and made me feel comfortable.  Of course, i know the guy that shows you where to park now, and the people at the door, so i ought to feel comfortable!  

Bob was not holding the fucks-all, and not carrying anything that could have held it either.   In fact, i have to admit, beyond the text picture, the fucks-all doesn’t enter the story at all.  Sorry.

The dungeon was strange with almost all the furniture removed – well, bdsm furniture, that is.  There were rows of tables instead, and a big open space in the middle – maybe for the twister game?  The jello tub was over in a corner.

There was a dance floor with swirly lights, and loud music.  Some of the music was good, and at one point, i considered joining some line dancing.  But i didn’t.

Bob and i wander through, checking out all the rooms with mattresses, some women in very cute lingerie, and not much else at first.  

Neither of us had brought wine or beer – or liquor, for that matter – so we drank water, and coffee for me.  No, it doesn’t keep me from sleeping.

We sit at a table, and are joined by another couple who turn out to be very nice.  They live in a rural town about 30 miles away, and go to different swingers clubs over a three state area on the weekends.   We chat, but we don’t go get naked together or switch partners or anything.

There’s a huge screen tv that shows porn throughout the evening.  We’re facing the screen, so i find myself watching whether i want to or not.  It’s all straight sex, with maybe an occasional butt slap.  And it’s ~~

~~ it’s really big.  And lots of close ups.  And honestly?  

Sooooooo not my cup of tea.  Of course, as far as i can tell, no one else is even looking at it, so i try to watch the live people instead.  

People greet each other, make introductions ~ hug, some kiss.  At least while i’m there, actual sex is in the separate rooms – which are separate but not private.  Bob and i wander through again.

In one room, a woman is on her knees {on a pillow} in front of a man who’s laying on his back on the bed, arms stretched out.  They are both fully clothed – well, except, apparently, for one part, um, that would be his cock.  Her head is bobbing like a ~ well, you know, like a movie.

Several men are standing around the edges of the room watching.  Later, something clicks in my head, and i say to Bob, “Were they waiting for a turn?”  

He shrugs.  “Could be.  Sure, they could be.”  

This disturbs me; i don’t know why.  Maybe it was just some puritanical streak i still have.   i don’t know.

But i begin to notice men who aren’t with anyone smiling at me, and am just the teeniest bit uncomfortable.   i realize that they think ~

~ o, dear, they think i might want to fuck them.  Or suck their cocks. 


Bob is great company, interesting and thoughtful, so that’s nice.  i would never have stayed as long as i did without him there.  We wander through the upstairs space several times.

One time we pass by a pile of naked bodies.  All tangled together, arms and legs protruding.   i want to look, and i totally want to not look.    We pass on by.  

i’m really not making any judgements here ~ everyone seems to be having a great time.  A man by himself joins us at one point, and he’s very nice.  We chat for a while, and he tells us stories of other swingers clubs he’s been to.  

So i have a good time.  i don’t see anyone i want to get intimate with, but i don’t really know anyone.  And by 11:00, i’m ready to go home.  No jello wrestling, no naked twister, and i’m ok with that.

i’m glad i went.  It was fun and interesting.  And i probably won’t go back.  i missed the whips and ropes, the Domly Doms and submissive subs.  Clearly, BDSM is my kink.  

‘ll go to the munch the first Friday of June, for sure.

So that’s my report on my night at the swingers’ party.

Respectfully submitted,


19 Responses to “My Report”

  1. nilla May 22, 2011 at 8:31 am #

    so. not. my. scene.


    then again…who knows? no. for sure i’m not turned on by vanilla sex. Has to have the kink in it…spanking or bondage or, as you say, the Domly Dom aspect.

    A full and interesting report.

    (it is called a saws-all, and i’m sorry it wasn’t used…)


    • aisha May 22, 2011 at 2:16 pm #

      @ ‘Nilla – Yeah, I hear you. It’s funny isn’t it?

      We were in the vendor area at one point ~ I touched some rope, smelled the leather, looked at the whips. Bob said something about knowing that was what I wanted – the whips – and I quickly said, “nooo,” kind of not wanting to be outed in swingers world.

      A woman ahead of me turned around and grinned. “Me either!” she said, making a slightly disgusted face. “We were here last week,” {when they have a mixed event} “and that’s just not my thing!”

      She moved on before I could decide if I needed to admit that it really is mine.


  2. striving for peace May 22, 2011 at 8:38 am #

    ok — I have to admit — I’m now a perv.

    I was ok with the idea that the guys standing around the woman might have been masturbating

    but the idea that there was some sort of queue?

    a bit disturbing to me too


    • aisha May 22, 2011 at 2:20 pm #

      @Sfp –

      Yeah, interesting, isn’t it? I’m not sure what it is that disturbs me. Would we feel differently if we thought she had a Dom there directing her?

      I don’t know.

      The image lingers with me. Just seeing her from the back – kneeling, her head moving quickly, rhythmically, the bottom half of her legs, her ankles crossed She still had her shoes on.


      I hope she was happy, whatever the story was.

      And glad it’s not just me that finds it unsettling.


  3. Mick May 22, 2011 at 8:46 am #

    We still need to hear about consumer product testing of that saw thingee.

    • aisha May 22, 2011 at 2:21 pm #

      Dear Mick,

      O, thanks, you of-the-one-track-mind.


      But he does need to test it, doesn’t he?


  4. K May 22, 2011 at 9:06 am #

    You’re brave. so amazed by people who don’t stay awake from coffee btw..

    • aisha May 22, 2011 at 2:22 pm #

      Thanks, K. Yeah, it’s weird isn’t it. But sometimes it’ll wake me up too early. I had to get up today anyhow, so it didn’t matter. aisha

  5. histoy May 22, 2011 at 9:20 am #

    ah… i am so glad you went, reached outside the comfort zone… and nothing “too” severe happened! I loved the pictures too, especially the second one …. Thanks for the giggle…

    • aisha May 22, 2011 at 2:25 pm #

      Hi, Histoy,

      Yeah, I’m glad I went too! And glad you liked the pictures. Does the last one look like I’m in a police line-up? It occurred to me it might, but that was after I published. laughing…

      Anyhow, thanks!


  6. alice May 22, 2011 at 10:18 am #

    I went to a swingers’ club for the first time a year ago. I didn’t find the experience very exciting and I haven’t been back since. Too many people that I didn’t have enough in common with. I have never been to a BDSM club or event. Somehow I think there would be a difference. Thanks for telling us about your night.

    • aisha May 22, 2011 at 2:24 pm #

      Hi, Alice,

      Yes, a BDSM event is a VERY different experience. Much more to my taste. 🙂

      Thanks for commenting!


  7. nilla May 22, 2011 at 10:22 am #

    *smacks forehead*…

    duh…the pix…

    you are gorgeous (and he didn’t think that the skirt was short enough? oh my.

    …course, you know i already know you are beautiful…



    • aisha May 22, 2011 at 2:26 pm #

      Thanks, ‘Nilla! {blushing} aisha

  8. angel May 22, 2011 at 3:28 pm #

    No wonder he wanted the skirt shorter. You have great legs, sexy lady. 😀

    And….yeah….its all coming back to me. The dungeon i went to was one room inside of a swingers club. No sex allowed, strangely. Some law changed the last time i went and suddenly sex phone booths were set up.
    The Mistress eyed me wearily and announced that i would no longer have a name. i would just be girl-who-is-not-allowed-near-phonebooth which just became shortened to Mistress Lisa’s girl. A point she proved later on that night when she popped a whip right infront of some man’s face for daring to *look at me*…it was *great*

    • aisha May 22, 2011 at 7:00 pm #

      {grins} Thanks, Angel. They’re not bad for an old lady… laughing.

      And yikes – that doesn’t sound like much fun at all. Sheesh. Sometimes your experiences make me feel absolutely sheltered, a fairly novel experience for me!



  9. angel May 22, 2011 at 7:06 pm #

    i wasn’t old enough yet to buy a drink (laughing).

  10. leftofslash May 26, 2011 at 10:26 am #

    Well among other things I enjoyed about that evening was following aisha up the stairs after she so thoughtfully shortened her skirt. As I told her earlier, there is no such thing as a skirt too short.
    This group was a little different from my (limited) experience at swing clubs in that there was virtually NO private place. If you weren’t into exhibitionism it could be a little off-putting. But aisha was game enough to stay longer than I expected. After she left, the organizers finally coaxed a couple of ladies into the jello pit, but there were no takers for the naked twister game. All in all, though, it was an interesting evening…..and the other weekend that the swingers are there it IS a D/s event….that might be REALLY interesting. (Evil grin)

    • aisha May 26, 2011 at 9:00 pm #

      @LS – or is that LoS? Thanks, glad you, um, enjoyed the view? Laughing…

      The other party might be interested, although it seems like it would be hard to be real relaxed with scenes since the swingers don’t exactly “get” that. But it would be more interesting, for sure…


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