The Silver Lining

4 Jun

My Mama breathed her last this morning, and still the relief that she’s not suffering is stronger than the grief.  Alzheimer’s takes away those we love a little piece at a time; at the end, there is only a shell, and brief glimpses of who she once was.

i was with her when she breathed her last, peacefully slipping away while i re-read Nora Roberts “The Key of Light.”  Comfort reading it was, looking up every few paragraphs, til i looked up and she was not breathing.  

i’m not alone.  My sister and my daughter are here for me, cousins, friends and co-workers have been kind. 

But the amazing silver lining has been youall.  The stories you’ve shared about your experiences, the e-mail, the comments, the prayers, and the love you’ve shown have made me feel so good. 

Through youall, i feel connected – connected to those of you who i know – but also connected to every one.  The loss of a parent is such a universal experience, and yet each person’s story is unique.  You made me see that.

 i have felt held and comforted every step of this journey.    

i wish you were all here, so i could hug you.  Instead I can just say “Thank you.”

 

33 Responses to “The Silver Lining”

  1. nilla June 4, 2011 at 10:17 pm #

    You are loved. i am deeply saddened for you, for your loss.

    Holding you in my heart until i can hug your neck for real…nilla

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:30 am #

      @’Nilla – And I just keep saying it – thank you so much. Can’t wait til October!!

      hugs,

      aisha

  2. Nick June 4, 2011 at 10:22 pm #

    There aren’t any words that can help much right now. But I’m thinking of you and holding you in My heart.
    N x

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:31 am #

      @Nick –

      Thank you so much. Just knowing that you care and are thinking of me help more than you can imagine.

      aisha

  3. k June 4, 2011 at 10:37 pm #

    I can’t begin to express. Been thinking of you Aisha. Thank you back..

    K

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:32 am #

      Thank you for the thoughts, K. I really can feel all the energy youall have sent.

      aisha

  4. histoy June 4, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    You are held and you are loved Aisha… my thoughts are with you at this very difficult time….
    Hugs my friend…

  5. nancy June 4, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

    My heart goes out to you.
    There aren’t any other words to help you but there are hugs… lots of them.

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:33 am #

      @Histoy,

      Thank you so much – it really has made a difference for me, and I appreciate it so much.

      aisha

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:34 am #

      @Nancy,

      Thank you for the hugs – I swear I can feel from them from here!

      hugs,

      aisha

  6. ahiddenslave June 4, 2011 at 11:17 pm #

    aisha,
    Close your eyes and feel the support from all of the people who send it, I am adding mine.
    HSxx

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:34 am #

      @HS,

      Yes. I can close my eyes and feel it, and it has carried me all this while. Thank you.

      aisha

  7. ewoman88 June 4, 2011 at 11:29 pm #

    No words, just love, ❤
    E

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:35 am #

      @Ewoman – Thank you, and love back to you.

      aisha

  8. Alujna June 5, 2011 at 1:14 am #

    more hugs aisha….
    I’m glad you are but alone.
    She’s looking over you now and I’m sure in a better place.

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:36 am #

      @Alujna,

      Yes, no doubt she’s in a better place! And probably glad to be there!

      Thank you for the support.

      aisha

      • Alujna June 8, 2011 at 2:12 am #

        that “but” was supposed to be “not”… typo…
        Hugs

  9. sin June 5, 2011 at 1:16 am #

    Thinking of you Aisha, If we helped at all, I’m very glad. Take care of yourself.
    sin

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:36 am #

      @Sin

      You have no idea how much you’ve helped. Thank you.

      aisha

  10. gofish9317 June 5, 2011 at 2:38 am #

    please accept my sympathy, it has been said that anyone who is remembered never truly dies. Cherish the memories and she will be with you always.

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 6:38 am #

      @Gofish,

      Thank you so much. You’re right – I have memories of her that will take me a lifetime to sort through. She’ll always be with me.

      Thank you.

      aisha

  11. Greengirl June 5, 2011 at 7:10 am #

    God grant you peace.

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 3:42 pm #

      Thank you so much, Gg.

      aisha

  12. Andi June 5, 2011 at 8:05 am #

    I was wondering about you and dreamt of you last night aisha. Surrounded yourself with things you love.

    I’ll be *hugging* you all day

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 3:43 pm #

      Thank you, Andi. Cool that you dreamt about me I think – at least, unless it was a nightmare!

      I can feel your hugs.

      Thank you.

      aisha

  13. striving for Peace June 5, 2011 at 8:39 am #

    Sending you all my love.

    You were a good daughter — you gave her love and support and in the end – you gave her rest.

    She’s at peace

    Love you

    sfp

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 3:44 pm #

      Thank you, Sfp.

      Yeah. I guess I did – at least, as best I could And she is at peace, thank goodness.

      love you too – hugs,

      aisha

  14. Mick June 5, 2011 at 8:56 am #

    wish there was a song for this…. Very painful (and strange) to lose a parent who has already forgotten about you. But I am sure she is at peace, and I hope you are too.

    Mick

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 3:47 pm #

      Thanks, Mick – there should be a song, shouldn’t there? You know, she would have hated living the way it’s been for her. Hated it. So yes, there’s a lot of comfort in knowing that she’d rather be where she is now.

      Thank you.

      aisha

  15. xantu June 5, 2011 at 10:22 am #

    Your words have given me a tiny bit of courage to face my future. I know I too will be facing this all too soon… it is the inevitable consequence to living and getting older.

    My thoughts are with you.

    x

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 3:48 pm #

      Dear Xantu,

      I’m so glad if my words have helped in some way. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.

      Thank you.

      aisha

  16. poured out June 5, 2011 at 12:41 pm #

    I’m so sorry for your loss.

    • aisha June 5, 2011 at 3:49 pm #

      Dear Poured out,

      Thank you so much – for the kind words, and for commenting.

      hugs,

      aisha

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