The Essay – at last

14 Jun

“Come here,” He says.  “Lean forward, give Me your breast.”

Kneeling in front of HIm, that is simple enough ~ i lean forward, moving my right breast toward His hand.   He reaches out and holds it, caresses the nipple with His thumb.

i whimper with delight; i think i sound like a puppy, but i can’t help it.  i’ve been waiting forever for His touch.  My pussy is so hot, so wet, it throbs and aches.  When He touches my nipple, it tugs on the line of sensation that runs directly to my pussy.  

“Now,” He says, “Let’s see what you have to say here.”    He glances at the paper in His other hand, reads quietly for a moment or two.  

i watch anxiously.

His hand on my breast catches the nipple, squeezes it between His thumb and middle finger.   i bite my lip.

He glances up from the essay, grinning.  “Categories?  You divided the reasons into categories?”

i’m a little embarrassed, but i nod.  “Yes, Sir.”

“And then sub-categories!”  He’s laughing a little.  My face feels hot. 

“That’s great!” He says.   i breathe a sigh of relief, although i think the fingers holding my nipple have tightened a little bit.  He’s reading again.

But He stops.  “No, you should read this to me.  Here.”  

i take it.  Now both His hands are free; He takes a nipple in each hand.   Holding them firmly ~ i’m aware of His grasp, but can still focus enough to read.

“Start at the beginning,” He says.

i begin to read.

“Why Spankings Are Good for Me.

      by aisha Hisservant 

There are three categories of reasons why spankings are good for me. One, they remind me of my submission.  Two, i ~”

and i pause here, swallow hard before i can go on ~

“i like them, and they make me hot.  Three, and most important, spankings please my Sir, and pleasing Him is what is MOST good for me.”

His fingers tighten on my nipples.  “Good,” He says.  “Go on.”  i am a little distracted, but my mind adjusts, accepts this new level of intensity.   

“When my Sir spanks me, it moves me deep into submission.  This can be good for me in two ways.  As a regular reminder of my submission, it keeps me in line.  Any urges i might have to disobey or not serve as well as i can disappear when i’m spanked.  i feel overwhelmed with a desire to please.  This urge comes from deep inside, and a spanking ~ well, it seems to pull the desire to the surface.  It allows me to recognize the feeling; inspires me to act on it.

Sometimes, i can feel embarrassed about how much i want to serve.”  i’m reading slowly now, kind of embarrassed to be saying these things.  But i wrote them, so i don’t have a choice now.

“Sometimes, i think my Sir might not really want my submission.”  

The fingers on my nipples tighten.  i glance up.  He’s frowning.  “Sir?”

“Keep going,” He says.

“But when He spanks me, it makes me feel like He does.  It lets me know that i belong to Him.  i guess those are what people call ‘maintenance spankings.’  They’re not punishment, they’re just a reminder of who i am, where my place is.

When a spanking makes me feel submissive, it releases a lot of tension too.  Everything disappears except the sensation, and the desire to please.  It’s a melting away, emptying myself feeling; it opens my heart.  That is so good for me.”

i glance up again, He’s smiling.  Relieved, i go on.

“Sometimes a spanking can be a punishment.  That’s good for me too when i need to be punished.  A punishment spanking doesn’t feel good at the time, but it makes me feel better afterwards.  It gets my attention, lets me know i’ve been blatantly out of line, and helps me move back into the appropriate mental space.” 

i’m moving through this pretty quickly now, very aware of His fingers on my nipples, just wanting to get through it.  It still makes me feel kind of stupid, all this stuff i’m saying.    

“Slow down,” He says.  Of course.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Think about what you’re saying.” He grins.  “Think about the spanking that’s coming at the end of this.”

i’m already so hot i didn’t think i could get any hotter without igniting, but i feel my juices flowing, my pussy clenches, i shudder.  He releases my nipples and i gasp.   He laughs.  Catches the nipples again, tighter this time?  i can’t tell.  Tight enough.  i want Him so badly.

“Read,” He says.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Spankings make me hot.  They turn me on.  i don’t know why.  They just do.  i guess maybe they always have.  It’s embarrassing, but it’s the truth.”

“Is your pussy hot now?  Wet?” He asks.  

“Yes, Sir!” i say.  “You KNOW it is!  How could it not be?”

He shakes His head.  “A simple ‘yes, Sir’ would have sufficed.  Do we need to add a punishment piece to the spanking?”

“No, Sir,” i say, then quickly add, “Unless You think we need to, Sir, in which case, i’d agree!”

“Keep reading,” He says.

“Finally, spankings are good for me because they please my Sir, and that’s what i want more than anything.  i think it pleases Him in a couple of ways.    i think He enjoys the act of spanking me.”  i glance up, raise my eyebrows a little, questioning, but ~

“Go on,” He says, impassive.

“i think He likes to feel my ass grow warm under His hand, see it turn red.  i think He enjoys hearing me moan and whimper.  i think those physical aspects of it are pleasant for Him.

i think He enjoys spanking me because He knows it’s good for me, and He takes pride in taking care of me.   He’s careful to make sure i get the things i need, and spanking is on the list.

And i think He likes it because it pleases Him that i will take more than i want to, more than feels good, for Him.  i think He likes to know that i’ll gladly accept the intensity, the pain, because it pleases Him.”

i watch His face as i read the last sentence.  

“i want to please Him more than anything.  Taking a hard spanking is just one small way i can do that.”

“O, good girl!” He says.  “Nicely done.  You’ve earned a real spanking.”

“Thank You, Sir,” i say, a little tentative.  i’m not completely sure this will be a reward, but i’m open to the possibility.

“What shall I use?” He asks.  “My hand, of course, for warm up and cool down, but in between?  Maybe the crop?  The spoon?  i know!  i’ll let you pick.  Pick three things.”

My mind freezes.  Pick three things?  i have to pick them?

 

8 Responses to “The Essay – at last”

  1. ewoman88 June 14, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    asdfghjkl! now the decision… more essays? 😛

    • aisha June 15, 2011 at 7:43 am #

      @ewoman – yes, still have to decide… but omigosh, surely no more essays! lol aisha

  2. vanillamom June 14, 2011 at 12:34 pm #

    *waves hands in the air*

    don’t pick the spoon…don’t pick the spoon!!!!

    omg don’t pick the spoon!

    (great story…simply excellent!)

    nilla

    • aisha June 15, 2011 at 7:44 am #

      Thanks for the great advice, ‘Nilla – I tried to keep it in mind, really I did. But you know how it is, sometimes you blurt out exactly the thing you DIDN’T want to say, right?

      laughing… guess it’s a good thing it’s just a fantasy.

      Thanks,

      aisha

  3. donna June 14, 2011 at 1:24 pm #

    I feel exactly the same way about the spankings. Why….I don’t know, but you did hit it on the head. Great blog.
    donna

    • aisha June 15, 2011 at 7:47 am #

      Glad it expressed your feelings too, Donna – thanks for reading and thanks for commenting!

      I went over to visit your blog – nice! Looks like you’re really exploring your feelings around all this. Welcome to the blogosphere!

      aisha

  4. Mick June 14, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

    I can tell this beach vacation has left you with some spare time and brain space to find your way into a very deep and messy gutter. good for you, AIsha.

    • aisha June 15, 2011 at 7:48 am #

      @Mick,

      No doubt! I’d say I’m wallowing in the gutter, but that would probably be a mixed metaphor… wouldn’t want to do that.

      aisha

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: