Mundane Kink

27 Jun

i was thinking last night that my kink is woven into my life almost seamlessly.   Not really, of course, the seams are there and i’m still in the processing of stitching the pieces of my life together.  But it seemed almost seamless yesterday.

i talked to Sfp about our plans for her impending trip to Where-i-Live ~ she’ll be here Thursday. Thursday of this week ~ how cool is that???  We talked about vanilla things we’d do, and we talked about the munch and whether or not she’d want to bring fetish wear.

{BTW, Sfp, it doesn’t look like there will be a play party after the munches this weekend, so don’t worry about bringing the corset…}

We talked about how odd it will seem to call each other by our vanilla names.  That’s a seam, right?   But she knows both my names.  That carries some kind of power of intimacy. 

i went to the Sunday munch last night.  It’s a small munch, maybe 20 or 25 people.  i spent a lot of time talking with Ms. Constance and another woman, whose name i have no idea how to spell. She has just moved to Where-i-Live, and Ms. Constance and i were filling her in on local lore and restaurants to go to. 

You would not have known that we were into kink at all.

But the delightful people sitting across the table from me, who i also chatted with,  were telling me that for the first ten years they were married, they were mostly vanilla ~ with some spice ~ but no real connection with the lifestyle.  Now they know that they are both tops, and are polyamorous so they each have someone of their own to top.

Not a typical arrangement, at least not in the vanilla world, but think of the problems that could arise if you and your spouse are both tops.  And the problems it would solve if you each found someone to be a bottom for you.

Of course, i’m sure their arrangement generates its own issues, but that’s just life, right?   

 My point is that not very long ago, just having that conversation would have been a little mind-boggling for me. Now – it’s practically mundane.

Ten years ago, i still thought it was seriously warped that Story of O turned me on.

Five years ago, i was living out some private kink, but i was pretty isolated – and would have been completely isolated in that experience except for JM, the amazing analyst.  {Thank you, JM.}

A year ago, i was just at the very beginning of discovery about the world of public kink and the community here.  {Thank you, Sir D.}

And now,i feel like i own it.  


It’s mine, and i am theirs.  

Yes, i belong.

At the end of June last year, i’d had the blog for two months, and had gotten about 400 hits.   i was thrilled with that.  

Today, i’ll break 40,000.

How cool is that?

So no matter how much my stories might seem to be a roller coaster of emotions, an endless pursuit of the “right” relationship, it’s ok.   i think i’m right where i need to be, right now.



20 Responses to “Mundane Kink”

  1. Mick June 27, 2011 at 7:02 am #

    Looking forward to hearing about your adventures with SFP this weekend. Mick

    • aisha June 27, 2011 at 7:38 am #

      @Mick – thanks! It’ll be a blast. Wish you guys were around, but I know you’ll be vacationing in your undisclosed Southwestern location and having your own kind of blast!


  2. ahiddenslave June 27, 2011 at 7:28 am #

    I can’t wait to hear…and am in your 40,000? let it be me…please let it be me:) Do i get a prize if it is?


    • aisha June 27, 2011 at 7:37 am #

      @HS – you get a prize just for being here!! Have to figure out what it is… but yes!



  3. vanillamom June 27, 2011 at 8:02 am #

    Congrats on the HUGE new number….and you are who you are more fully than anyone else i’ve ever known.

    Thats pretty damn kewl, subsis.

    HUGs and magical confetti!


    • aisha June 27, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

      Thank you, ‘Nilla!

      {And i know it’s not really a HUGE number… laughing.. it’s just huge for me!}

      many hugs back, and whoo! love the confetti!


  4. Andi June 27, 2011 at 8:04 am #

    *toots horn ….. Confetti* 40,000 wow aisha!!!!

    Thank you for writing. I hope you and SFP have a blast

    • aisha June 27, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

      Thank you, Andi!

      ‘Nilla – almost 165,000

      Mick – almost 330,000

      Sin – almost 16r,000

      laughing… so i know i’m not in the playing in the big leagues at all-

      and i’m still thrilled!

      Thank you!


      • vanillamom June 27, 2011 at 10:30 pm #

        yeah, but its only your first year…seriously…i’m into year??? gosh i forget…Aug 2009…so this will be my third anniversary? wow has it been that long?

        and the first year i was lucky to hit 1000 hits, i think…it was really low.

        Trust me, ladycakes…you are one of the most valued members of this community. Likely one of the most beloved.

        And Definitely — my heartsister.

        we all started out with those low numbers…and you? Growin’ by leaps and bounds!

      • sin June 28, 2011 at 7:33 pm #

        funny when nilla does math – 2nd anniversary for nilla… 🙂

  5. sin June 27, 2011 at 9:04 am #

    Congrats on the number. It’s very cool to see the numbers climb isn’t it?

    And you are definitely, DEFINITELY part of our community here. One of the nicest parts.

    And I am envious and oh so curious about SFP’s visit. I know you will have a blast. Umm, you might want to be careful taking her through the drive-thru. I heard she throws cheese at the drive-thru attendants.

    Big hug


    • aisha June 27, 2011 at 10:02 pm #


      Thank you, thank you…

      And are you sure it’s not too late to come join us?

      {I had heard that about drive-throughs and cheese – I’ll be careful.}



  6. ewoman88 June 27, 2011 at 9:34 am #

    HUGZ!!! hurray for the big four-O-O-O-O 😛

    So glad you found that little book so long ago 🙂

    • aisha June 27, 2011 at 10:03 pm #

      @ewoman – Thank you! Yeah {grinning} I’m glad I found it too!


  7. angel June 27, 2011 at 5:39 pm #

    i feel like you deserve a toast. Hugs to you. Sometimes where we are really *is* right were we need to be.

    • aisha June 27, 2011 at 10:04 pm #

      Thank you, Angelic Jade {aka The Baby}

      Will do the toast myself.. and drink to you too!



  8. Striving for Peace June 28, 2011 at 8:03 am #

    Wow — Aisha — I’m a bit relieved that there’s no play party –mostly that when I stare at my closet I don’t see much in there that could be considered sexy — unless you’re into corrupting kindergarten teachers — but the munch sounds awesome —

    and I promise no cheese flinging


    • aisha June 28, 2011 at 9:05 pm #


      Yeah, I don’t actually do “sexy” either – you know, unless you count me rolling my skirt up to make it short like we used to do in high school.

      laughing… and really, I don’t care if you throw some cheese around!

      Hey, not tomorrow, but the next day!


  9. vanillamom June 28, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

    *laughing* @ sin….i *did* tell you i suck at math…*smacks forehead* duh!!

    now you know why i don’t do the math component of homeschooling…

    i sit, corrected. August will indeed be my 2 year blogoversary!

    math numnuts.

    • aisha June 28, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

      @’Nilla –

      Yeah, I noticed that too… I wasn’t going to mention it, Nothing wrong with being mathematically challenged.

      Many hugs,


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