The Major (Part II)

29 Jul

i don’t answer immediately; i’m not sure what to say.  “What aspect of your life do you want to examine next,” He asks again.

i want to say,”None, Sir, couldn’t You just play with me again, please?” but i can’t imagine that ending well.  So i look down, look away, “i don’t know…” then quickly add, “Sir.”

He reaches down, grasping my hair at the nape of my neck, tiling my face up to Him so that i can’t avoid His eyes. His hand is firm, and his voice is cool.  “You don’t know?” 

My heart is racing, i’m in near panic mode.  “No, Sir,” i whimper,  “i don’t – i don’t want to talk about any of it.”

He releases my hair then, “I see that.  Why not?”

“i’m ~ i’m ~” i don’t want to answer this either, but His gaze is intent, patient and steady.  i am careful not to look away for long, but it’s hard to think.

His face relaxes ~ just a fraction ~ and He says, “Breathe, slut of mine, breathe.”

i do, i take a real breath, and feel better, and worse, cause then i hear myself say, “i don’t want to talk about it because it makes me think about all the things that are wrong with my life.”

He leans forward. takes my face between both hands. gentle and firm, “you don’t have to do this.  I can give you back your clothes, take you back to your car, anytime you like.”

“No, no Sir, i don’t want to go,” i’m saying it quickly, and i realize that i’ve interrupted Him, and stop in mid-word.  

He almost smiles, rubs his thumbs across my cheekbones before releasing my face.   “Then let’s do this, slut of mine,” He says, and my heart warms ~ i love that, “slut of mine.  Tell me about your life.”

“Well,”  i say, “There’s my family.  They’re good, i think.  Yes, my daughters, and my grandkids, and my sister and her family – they’re all good”

“Yes,” He says.  “And you have a lot to be proud of there.  Nothing to work on in that area.”  He nods.  “Good job.”

i’m thrilled – like i’ve just passed some huge test, i can’t quit grinning.

His hands caress me.  i’m sitting on the floor, so close to Him i can feel the warmth of His body through his clothes.  He reaches out for my breasts, flicking the nipples with His thumb.  

My pussy clenches and throbs.  

i want more.  It’s all i can do to sit still and receive His touch without throwing myself at His legs, rubbing against Him like a dog in heat.  But i restrain myself, not sure that i should move without His direction.

And then He stops.   “Tell me about your friends,” He says.

“O, i have some great friends,” i say.  “i have a few really close friends, and i have some ~ circles of friends, i guess i’d say.  Some of them in real life, some of them on-line, but i have friends i love.”

He asks me more about my friends, and i’m happy to tell Him.  He listens.  Then ~

“Let’s talk about your work,” He says.

“Ok,” i say, a little bit reluctant now.  “My work is ok.  It’s not too bad.  i’m kind of ~ i don’t know.”

“Tell me,” He says, and His voice is so warm, and commanding at the same time, that i do.  i tell Him all the good stuff, and there is plenty of that, and all the difficult parts.

He listens.

He absorbs what i’m saying.  i can tell, because He asks questions.  He questions what i want, and what i’m doing to move toward what i want.

His questions take me deeper into examining what my goals.  We talk about my strengths and where i’m lacking.  He is solid, and kind.  

Gradually i move into the things that shame me.     He peels away the layers that hide me, slowly, with care.  It is still difficult.

When i am finished,  He looks at me.  For a long time.  

i begin to wilt under his gaze, my head drops.  i feel as naked and exposed emotionally as i am physically.  i think this is what He wants, but it’s very hard.

“Look at Me,” He says, and i do, lifting my eyes to meet His.  “So every night you go to bed feeling like you haven’t done enough.  And every morning you start out feeling like you’re already behind, hopeful, but just barely.  Is that right?”

i nod.  “Yes, Sir, that’s about right.”

 “Do you want Me to help you?’

i hesitate, but just for a moment.  “Yes, Sir.” 

“Then ask Me.  Ask Me to help you take control of your life.”

That’s hard to do ~  i really hesitate now.   But i do want Him to help, even though i don’t know how or what He can do.  At last, i push the words out, “Would You help me, please, Sir, to take control of my life?”

He smiles then, that amazing smile that transforms His face.  i have to smile back.

“Give me your life for today,”  He says.  “Give me the control, and we’ll start.”

“Yes, Sir,” i say, and sensing He wants more, i say,”i give you control of my life today.”

“Good girl.”  He reaches toward me, gesturing for me to get up.  “We’ll start with a spanking,” He says.  ” A nice over-the-knee spanking.  Here you go,” and He places me over His lap.

His hand strokes my ass.  “Later,” He says, “There will be consequences, possibly even punishments.  But this is for pleasure, my pleasure, and to release you.”

i feel His hand lift, and it falls, SMACK, on my right cheek, harder than i expected.  i gasp.  Quickly it lands on the other cheek.  

O.

O, my. 

14 Responses to “The Major (Part II)”

  1. thesubmissivebf July 29, 2011 at 8:27 am #

    I thought I was going to have to go through the day major-less, lol
    So happy when I got to work and found the next chapter. Thank you Aisha

    • aisha July 29, 2011 at 9:33 pm #

      Dear Sbf, I love that you like this. Thank you. aisha

  2. k July 29, 2011 at 8:37 am #

    “Breathe, slut of mine, breathe.”

    : )

    • aisha July 29, 2011 at 9:37 pm #

      @K – I know… laughing. hugs, aisha

  3. vanillamom July 29, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    i wonder if you see how insightful this is? hmmm? A million of us can tell you that you’re giving back AND paying it forward more than so many of us can, or do….we can tell you we admire you, love you, honor the work you do….

    but until YOU see it, grok it, fully understand that you have a life of incredible giving…you won’t be full.

    i admire you.
    i honor you.
    i don’t know many people like you.
    you are my hero.
    seriously.

    this piece was so intense. So beautiful.

    thank you for being who you are…many roads brought you to who you are today…but for now, we’re walking the same road beside each other.

    that makes me really happy.

    love,

    nilla

    • aisha July 29, 2011 at 9:57 pm #

      Dear ‘Nilla,

      Good heavens woman, do you not realize that you could be describing yourself?

      That’s ok. I’m glad we’re on the same road too. It makes me happy too.

      And – it’s not really that I don’t know that there are things that are really right with my life. You know I do. I’ve been blessed in so many ways, and yes, there are lots of ways that I give. I do know that…

      But hang with me, ok?

      There’s more to the story.

      much love,

      aisha

  4. Faithful July 29, 2011 at 10:00 am #

    ”Give me the control, and we’ll start.”

    Wonderful.. and it takes only the strongest of submissives to truly to hand it over.

    Thank you for sharing this with us Aisha.

    ~faithful

    • aisha July 29, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

      Thank you, Faithful. That is how it works isn’t it?

      hugs,

      aisha

  5. Bill July 29, 2011 at 10:12 am #

    Well written and oh so insightful! You have touched on the submissive’s strength and weakness. The strength to give control to another and the weakness to still resist. This story is flowing into a great river of thought.

    • aisha July 29, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

      Thank you Bill. I appreciate your perspective – have come back and read the sentence about strength and weakness several times today. Thanks.

      aisha

  6. littlemonkey July 29, 2011 at 10:46 am #

    Not take a way from a wonderful story, and it is absolutely wonderful …

    but I had the same thoughts as ‘nilla when I read this. I do admire you, for many reasons. and I wish you could see those reasons for your self.

    • aisha July 29, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

      Thank you so much, LM.

      You know, it’s really not that i dont’ see the good things about myself – I do. I wouldn’t have said that a year or two ago, but I do.

      And – there is still so much – as they say at work – “opportunity for improvement.” I know – now i sound like a perfectionist, and that’s not it either.

      Hang with me….

      and thank you.

      aisha

  7. perfectlips July 29, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

    Yes, interesting and frank.

    • aisha July 29, 2011 at 10:08 pm #

      Thank you, PL. aisha

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