Slut? A Poem

30 Aug

Slut.

Cheap and dirty slut.

When did she cross the line?  When her father raped her, that first time when she was 10?  The night she wore the pajamas that were too small, didn’t she know they’d tempt him beyond what a Christian man could take?

Slut.

Was it when Johnny swore he loved her, when she did it coz he asked so nicely, so sweet, his hands were gentle, his breath so fresh, not like her father, whiskey laden, reeking of smoke and sweat and then

after he said he’d never tell, but then ~~ behind the bleachers ~

the girls sneering, 

and the boys lined up chanting, Suck it suck it suck it slut

so she did, cause what was she s’posed to do?  She did and did and did and

they left her there, left alone after all

Slut

And so sometimes she holds tight, untouched, keeping her heart tucked away in a drawer, next to her passion, the purple dildo that only she knows about.

But then, ready to explode, needing the touch just to know she lives,

fucking half a dozen men in a week or two,

                     discarding them as quickly as they cum ~

~pun intended.

Slut

Didn’t she know she was s’posed to save it for him?  

Slut.

*************************************

This is not my story, although it could have been; it’s just a matter of fate that it wasn’t.  i don’t know where it came from, it appeared in my mind and slid onto the page in response to some discussion on another blog about the word slut, and who might or might not be one.

In my best fantasies, in the BDSM world, we use the word with love and affection, trying to take the sting and the shame out of it.  Slut shaming is practically a national pastime… and i’m so against it.

In my mind, either we are all sluts, or none of us are.  And i could talk more about that, cause you know i’ve got more to say on the subject, but not today.

Gotta be at work at 7 for real… 

20 Responses to “Slut? A Poem”

  1. Mick August 30, 2011 at 6:49 am #

    Lovely post, Aisha.

    • aisha August 30, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

      Thanks, Mick! aisha

  2. perfectlips August 30, 2011 at 7:24 am #

    “slut” and rape will be around as long as sex is considered shameful and dirty. 

    A slut is essentially someone who is dirty (slovenly). The sexual meanings came later. The foregrounding of the sexual meaning is recent.

    PL

    • aisha August 30, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

      @PL,

      Yes, I think you’re right.

      Thanks for the comment – I so often learn the most interesting things from you…

      aisha

  3. sin August 30, 2011 at 7:34 am #

    Your poem seems terribly sad.

    • aisha August 30, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

      @Sin,

      Well, yes. Of course it is.

      aisha

  4. vanillamom August 30, 2011 at 7:58 am #

    if i could do that whistle that guys seem to be born knowing how to do…that fingers in the mouth, loud shrill call that lets the world know something wonderful and amazing is going o here?

    if i could do that whistle,

    i would do it right now.

    right here.

    and let the world know that something special

    and wonderful

    and amazing

    is going on right here, right now.

    love,

    nilla

    • aisha August 30, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

      @’Nilla,

      …laughing… i’m not convinced it’s all that, but thank you! I am glad you like it ~ well, I don’t know if like is quite the right word, but am glad you thought it would be worth sharing.

      love,

      aisha

  5. thesubmissivebf August 30, 2011 at 8:05 am #

    Yes I agree with Sin, it feels sad and lonely.

    • aisha August 30, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

      @Sbf,

      Yes. I agree with Sin too.

      Is that what it feels like when we’re being shamed for who we are?

      aisha

  6. Bill August 30, 2011 at 9:30 am #

    A sad and lonely poem about a society that is well and truly fucked up. We want the pure virgin women, but then expect her to perform like a pro. We think that a women is pretty only if she is built like a concentration camp survivor and has a forty inch bust. The idea that it is fun to humiliate a women/girl for doing sexual things seems ingrained and from my 57 years of life – stupid!

    • aisha August 30, 2011 at 9:53 pm #

      @Bill,

      Thank you. Yes, we send women all kinds of mixed, impossible-to-live-up-to messages, and i appreciate your recognition of that.

      hug,

      aisha

  7. Giggling Bunny August 30, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    The poem made me cry. Not because of being raped or even the other slutty stuff….but the being alone part.

    • aisha August 30, 2011 at 9:54 pm #

      @GB,

      Yes – that is the really sad part, isn’t it?

      Thank you for commenting.

      aisha

  8. angel August 30, 2011 at 6:21 pm #

    Last night, i went to an HIV class and i got tested.
    Twenty minutes, sexual questions, insepid rage, waiting.

    She fucked strange women in a bathroom and i mentally plotted out
    my revenge for her being a whore if the test came out positive.
    (Am i any better than anyone else who judges?)

    That night, lifetimes ago…
    i was wearing, laughably, a lifesavers (candy) night gown.
    White with purple stripes and smiling candies down the front.

    Some of us are convinced we are whores and become what we are told they are.
    Others of us believe we are no longer good enough to be a nun
    and trap ourselves in the cloistered mask of the “nice girl” instead.

    HIV has nothing to do with being a slut, ofcourse.
    But, oh, the shame we place on it.

    When do we say, collectively, “enough!”?
    What would happen if we did?

    There are real world consequences for what we do.
    Last night, in a circle of gays and family, i was the token young lesbian.
    Last night, i used my voice.

    • aisha August 30, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

      Dear Angel,

      Thank you for you thought-provoking comment.

      And yes, the shame we place on HIV and being a slut and being fat and all kinds of other things.

      We can’t collectively say “enough,” we can only say it one person at a time. One And one. and one. and one… until we hit some tipping point, and maybe we will discover we have a collective voice.

      So I’m saying it now. NO slut-shaming in my world, not without me speaking up.

      I’m glad you used your voice last night. 🙂

      aisha

  9. sky August 30, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

    It’s a lovely poem, Aisha. I feel badly for the girl, that she is being hard on herself because she didn’t “save it for him.”

    I liked your comment “In my best fantasies, in the BDSM world, we use the word with love and affection, trying to take the sting and the shame out of it.” I am actually embracing my “inner slut”. And when my Master callsl me “His Slut”, my heart melts.

    Thanks for sharing your poem, Aisha.

    • aisha August 30, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

      Thank you, Sky.

      Yes, she is, being hard on herself, and isn’t that what we do so well?

      I’m delighted that you’re embracing your inner slut ~ enjoy her!! I’m sure He does!

      hugs

      aisha

  10. Tipacanoe September 1, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

    I agree that it is a sad and lonely poem, but it sure as hell makes you think about how we treat people, and for that it is very very good. Tip

    • aisha September 1, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

      Thank you, Sir. I appreciate that feedback very much. aisha

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