Back on the Path of Service and Mastery

26 Sep

i just have  a little bit more to go on  Raven’s class on BDSM and Spirituality, but it’s the part that speaks to me the most personally.  You remember, we talked about BDSM as a path through Pain and an Altered State of Consciousness, through Ritual Catharsis, and finally through the Path of Service and Mastery.

So Service means learning to obey and to give with a joyful heart, and Mastery means ruling from right motives.  Well, more or less, short form, right?

Raven goes on to talk about “right stewardship” which means the Master takes care of His or Her property.  Not just in the sense of not harming the slave, but helping the slave move toward self-actualizing.  Helping the slave work for his or her higher good.

Then He talks about two ways this can work ~ two styles of relationship.

One he calls yin-yang style.  In this style, the slave gives energy to the Master, who gives it back to the slave.  Likes a circle of connection,  the relationship feeds growth for Master and slave.  They are turned toward each other.

The other style, he calls “tree style.”  In this style, the slave is the roots who gives energy to the Master.  The Master puts the energy into the universe.

Now, this second style is going to have elements of yin-yang style in it too, because no slave can provide energy without getting some back.  But the thrust of this relationship is different. 

The thrust of the relationship is on bringing the Master’s dream to fruition.  Whatever that dream may be, whatever vision He or She has.

And i was immediately struck by that ~ by the rightness of that idea.  Truth to tell, i could barely listen for a little bit there, my mind was racing with thoughts of how this all fit together for me.  Like getting the last piece of the puzzle, and it all begins to click into place.

But ~ but ~ then i realize ~ Raven is still talking about the Master’s vision, and i’m thinking about my own vision.


Because, ya know, i’ve got a vision.  A fairly clear one.  And scattered though i am sometimes with my energies, i’m moving toward bringing the vision to life.

Slowly, and not in a linear way.  Sometimes i think i’m going in circles, other times i think i’m off track.  But then something happens ~ i meet someone, do something, think something ~ and suddenly realize that i need this ~ this whatever it was ~ to put in my plan.

So the not focused part ~ the wandering and gathering ~ sometimes gets me where i need to be.  Other times, it is not my friend.  i do waste time.  i don’t follow up on things that i need to do.  i neglect things i shouldn’t neglect.

This is where i was going with my “The Major” fantasy.  The Major was going to organize her life so that she could accomplish the things she needed to do.  He was just taking a lovely, long sexual way to get there.

And that fantasy is a great example of what i’m talking about.  i spent hours on it.  i was driven to write it, couldn’t get enough of it.  And then ~~

~~ as it became more clear in my head, it became less urgent.  Then i met Sir X, and now i can barely remember The Major.  Maybe i’ll try to finish it at some point, but i don’t have the need to right now.

Writing it was part of what i needed to do though ~ there were things i needed to learn from listening to myself as i was writing it.

When i signed up for C.O.P.E., my fantasy was that i’d “meet someone,” right?  Instead, i’d already met Sir X.  But i needed to be there for this workshop, for Raven’s workshop.

Unfortunately, all this is racing through my mind, and Raven is still talking about the Master’s vision, maybe how everything else is secondary to the vision, i don’t know.  Cause i’m having a little bitty panic attack.

i think ~ does it have to be the Master’s vision? What if the slave has a vision?  Could it be the slave that has the dream, with a Master who feeds her energy?

How’s that gonna work?  

10 Responses to “Back on the Path of Service and Mastery”

  1. vanillamom September 26, 2011 at 8:17 am #

    thinking…thinking…thinking aloud….you say the ‘slave (you) has the dream”…and are comparing it to the tree vision…

    but doesn’t the big D have a vision and dream that may dovetail with yours?

    Doesn’t that put it back in the realm of yin-yang?

    Is He feeding you energy to realize YOUR dream.?..Does that feed His dreams?

    if i’m understanding what you are trying to convey, the two aren’t mutually exclusive of one another….your dream, His dream….

    and let me put this out there in the “for what it is worth” column…and Goddess let me speak with clarity….

    if YOU have a dream…and have been working towards that…professionally and personally…then does a big D have a role in that? is that *part* of the dream?

    if YOU have become more focused and fulfilled with Sir X in your life…because service is part of your dream…

    And HE is getting what HE wants from you….

    doesn’t that make it, in truth, full, rich real D/s relationship that fulfills each of you with that energy exchange?

    i don’t see you as selfishly taking energies from Him…frankly, i doubt He’d allow that. Guiding you gently in the direction He is setting, there is no doubt in my mind that He is, ultimately, in control, all the while knowing that He is clearly and carefully feeding you.

    Am i making sense?


    This is def. an interesting topic!


    • aisha September 27, 2011 at 5:02 am #


      Of course you’re making sense, and thank you for this thoughtful comment!

      Yes, that’s definitely one way it could work – yes, of course, and relationships do work like that. And you describe it beautifully.

      You’re right, it’s not about “taking his energy” or being selfish… I think maybe I didn’t describe it very well. But yes, what you’re saying makes perfect sense.

      Thanks, ‘Nilla ~ and hugs.


  2. Greengirl September 26, 2011 at 9:50 am #

    You know. As i read, and you asked, “what about her dream?”. I thought that of course that goes back to the yin-yang model. Did Raven present it in such a way to make the yin-yang model sound less or wrong or not as good as? It seems to me that feeding each other, lifting each other up, could lead further for each person. I love trees; they are fantastic, they are solid and soaring, sheltering and strong. But they are stuck in one place, and not very adaptable or flexible. They can’t strike out on journeys or adventures. Nilla says things so much better than I, she’s right: it won’t be just your dream, or just his. They overlap and intertwine and feed each other.

    • aisha September 27, 2011 at 5:05 am #


      No, he didn’t present it in a way that made the yin-yang model seem less ~ and I see what you’re saying about trees…

      Yes, our dreams will overlap and intertwine… and at this point in our relationship, it is all yin-yang anyhow.

      Thanks for that beautiful description…


  3. perfectlips September 26, 2011 at 10:54 am #

    I’m with the other two. The tree style sounds fairly bogus.

    “… i was driven to write it, couldn’t get enough of it. And then … as it became more clear in my head, it became less urgent. ”

    Yes, the (act of) writing is often more important than the story.


    • aisha September 27, 2011 at 5:14 am #


      Laughing… if it sounds bogus, I didn’t do a good job describing it! But that’s ok, you’re my resident skeptic, and I appreciate that!

      And thanks – yes, my mother used to say, “Reading maketh a full man conference a ready man and writing an exact man,” which now that I think about it doesn’t seem nearly as profound as it did when I was a kid… but still. You know what I mean.

      Sending you a hug…


  4. Sky September 26, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

    This is a very interest topic, Aisha and prompted me to go back to Ravens site to read.

    It may not always be an “even” exchange but I keep going back to yin-yang. You have definitely given ne lots to think about! Thank you!

    Take care. Sky

    • aisha September 27, 2011 at 5:15 am #


      Thanks, I’m glad you liked it! I’m still exploring his site, and just now found everything he presented in his workshop….

      I think the yin-yang is what feeds us all the time, so that makes sense.

      Thanks for the input!


  5. lil September 26, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    Personally, I was thinking of the yin-yang because that is always how Alpha has described our relationship. I feed His dreams, He nurtures mine, and the circle completes itself.

    It doesn’t have to be the tree right? It seems like, if you look at it from the yin-yang perspective, your dreams would feed each other.

    Interesting post.

    • aisha September 27, 2011 at 5:20 am #


      Thanks for reading and for commenting!

      No, of course it doesn’t have to be the tree, and for sure I need the yin-yang now…. The circle is a lovely image, and helps complete us.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts1


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