In the Stillness

30 Sep

When i get too busy, i forget to be in touch with that internal stillness, that place inside myself where it’s very quiet and peaceful.  The busier it gets around me, the more i need that time and space.

When i realize i haven’t been doing it, it’s easy to get annoyed with myself and put some energy into fussing at myself for forgetting to do it.  Of course that’s not really so helpful.

It makes much more sense just to go ahead and find the quiet space and to try to remember to do it sooner next time.

Often, i used to do that fantasy of kneeling, waiting, and that would quiet my heart.

Now, i’m not waiting in the same way, so maybe it makes sense to find a new mental image of stillness.  And that’s what i was going to do in this post this morning…

Only ~ wait ~ no!  i’ve got to go do a jail run before i go to this workshop today… and i can’t find anything to wear… and i want to write Sir a note… and answer my sister’s email… and brush my teeth… and finish doing my hair… and i can’t decide – sandals or boots?  Or i could go way casual and do tennis shoes.  No not tennis shoes.  

Ok,  sandals, there’ll be plenty of time for boots.

So i need to quit writing this not-even-a-post post and go do something… anything.

Now instead of feeling quiet in my head, i’m all frazzled again…  yikes.

Ok.  Stop.  Stop now.

Breathe.

Comfort.  Dress for comfort today. The purple top and black leggings.  Yes.

Breathe.

Ok.

i can do this.  Calmly, feeling peaceful inside.

Ok, yes.  Here we go…

“Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without.”
~~ Buddha 

And five minutes of music helps…

18 Responses to “In the Stillness”

  1. sin September 30, 2011 at 7:16 am #

    smiles. That might be the best thing about yoga, the yogic breathing, the stillness.

    • aisha September 30, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

      @Sin, I bet it is! I wish I did yoga… My Sir does, every morning for 30 minutes. But I can do some breathing – I’m not a therapist for nothing… aisha

  2. Striving for Peace September 30, 2011 at 7:47 am #

    Love the internal monologue…makes me feel less crazy that I do it too

    sfp

    • aisha September 30, 2011 at 8:12 pm #

      @Sfp,

      Um, I don’t know how to tell you this, but we are probably equally crazy.

      Just saying…

      aisha

  3. ahiddenslave September 30, 2011 at 7:52 am #

    breathe…..have white noise on your radio when you drive…it drowns it all out….you are one crazy lady:)
    HSxx

    • aisha September 30, 2011 at 8:13 pm #

      @HS,

      Exactly! Laughing… that’s what I just telling Sfp!

      No, the radio needs to be cranked up playing some thing I like – that’s its own kind of internal peace…

      hugs,

      aisha

  4. vanillamom September 30, 2011 at 8:18 am #

    i totally understand that frazzle…its the dog that chases its tail in our heads, without surcease sometimes….and we want that moment of quiet, of calm, unheeding that voice inside saying…relax…coz we don’t have time for it.

    yet, if we don’t take that time…we get even more frazzled.

    taking my own advice today, and practicing mindful breathing…i’m so tired of being frazzled. So i will sit, while my bread rises, and breathe for a bit.

    (and i was lucky enough this spring to stand right there at that marker and see it, IRL…)

    nilla

    • aisha September 30, 2011 at 8:17 pm #

      @’Nilla,

      Now see – practicing mindful breathing while you wait for the bread you’ve made to rise ~ now that’s some seriously beautiful mindfulness. i could almost envy you today…

      (and how cool, to have been right there…)

      hug,

      aisha

  5. perfectlips September 30, 2011 at 10:22 am #

    Yes, that is horrible. And once it’s got you it’s very hard to throw it off.

    I get up half an hour before everyone else so I can write in my diary. Blogging doesn’t quiet me, only the diary.

    I did a bit of yoga at the gym today too. I second sin about yoga, Also falling over mid-asana in a public place is good for the old hubris.

    PL

    • aisha September 30, 2011 at 8:21 pm #

      @PL,

      Yes, I started getting up way early when my kids were little to capture some peace before the day started, then studied my way through graduate school mostly in the early hours. Still get up way early even though it’s just me.

      Blogging often does quiet my mind ~ when it’s not stimulating it instead…

      Would love to have been a fly on the wall watching you fall over in mid-asana…. {smiling…}

      aisha

  6. Faithful September 30, 2011 at 2:11 pm #

    RUN…. 🙂 at least that is my “quiet time”… me, my dog and my IPOD- religiously every morning. or Walk.. exercise daily clears the head and strengthens the body. It is great that you recognize the importance of your “internal stillness”.

    ~faithful

    • aisha September 30, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

      @Faithful,

      Yes, exercise, walking especially is great for that. I don’t run – well, not unless someone’s chasing me… {ha ha, that wasn’t really funny, sorry!} {giggling…}

      But seriously – yes, I do need time to be still.

      aisha

  7. Sky September 30, 2011 at 4:23 pm #

    I kneel and quietening my mind. And daily walking definitely quite s and centers me.

    I hope as your day progressed, you were able to feel less rushed and more calm.

    Take care. Sky

    • aisha September 30, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

      @Sky,

      Of course – what a good idea ~ I could have actually knelt, and that would probably have quieted my mind pretty quickly. Didn’t even think of it.

      The day did get smoother, and after it all, I took a nap, which was just lovely. Thanks!

      aisha

  8. MissNaida September 30, 2011 at 7:13 pm #

    I got a little frazzled… and then calm again while reading 🙂
    Hope you have a good weekend!

    naida

    • aisha September 30, 2011 at 8:30 pm #

      @Naida,

      Laughing… cool! I love it when you ride the roller coaster with me!

      Hope you have a good weekend too!

      aisha

  9. vanillamom September 30, 2011 at 8:42 pm #

    Ha ha…my first thought when i read “run…” was “why? who’s chasing me?”

    i only run if one of my kids is hurt.

    but walk at a decent clip? Now that i do. I also walk sometimes to new age music (my new favorite is 7 and 5, esp. their song called “Beautiful Days.” (which i can’t find on Youtube but will bring with me when i come…

    nilla
    who took a walk today AND bought some fabric…talk about mindful!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Torment of the Denied. | Vanillamom's Blog - October 1, 2011

    […] read aisha’s post today? It’s all about stress and work and letting go and breathing…and finding that […]

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