The Hard Rammer

9 Oct

It’s very quiet around here without ‘Nilla.  i miss her already.

But it wasn’t quiet last night.  Sir X and i had play time, and He’d had a whole week to plan…   so the house was full of noises, mostly mine.

Moans of pleasure and pain, whimpers and cries, laughter and  ~ no, not tears, and no screams, but some pretty sharp gasps now and then.  The cane demands a reaction, and he doubled the strokes this time, 6 with each, except the last one, mercifully only three with that one.

And i wonder – will it be 12 with each next time?  Omigosh, that would be an awful lot.  Maybe He stops at 6.   Ok, no, that would be unlikely.  Maybe it will be 9 next time.

And a shiver runs through me.  There are 4 canes, or cane sets, i think ~ or 5?  i have to go back and look at my picture to be sure.  **********  Ok, 4, there are four sets.  Times 6 is 24, and if you know canes, well, that is a lot, i think.

Although, He isn’t harsh with them, he isn’t trying  to harm me, so they sting ~~  o, they sting, and leave welps ~ but i can slide into it, and it is not too much.

He’s brought a spanking bench with Him.  

No, i’m not kidding.  It’s a portable work bench, and i don’t know how He modified it, but He lays a towel across it for padding, fastens my ankle cuffs to the legs, ties my arms as well, before the canes.

We have done our usual ritual of submission ~ the leather collar this time, wrist and ankle cuffs ~ then led to the door, where He’s fastened the rope, my arms pulled over my head, face to the wall first.   Hands pressed flat against it.

Hand, flogger, stingy rope, belt.  That is always the same.

He turns me once, to attach some nipple clamps, new ones, tighter, more painful, with a heavier chain…

But hand, flogger, stingy rope, belt.  That is always the same…

And there is a moment, i think it is between the rope and the belt, before i hear the hisssss of His belt coming off, there is a moment ~~

~~ when i feel so deeply submissive that i ~~ i can’t describe it

~~ it’s so deep and so intense that i totally want to belong to Him, bring on the branding iron, whatever

~~ i want to give myself to Him ~~ at that moment i would do anything for Him ~~ and i’m feeling it so strongly, i have to say it,

only i don’t have a lot of words, so i manage to say, “You have no idea how submissive i feel right now…”

and He laughs and says, “Well, i would hope you do!  You’re tied to the door, naked, with nipple clamps,” and His hand reaches around to pinch my nipples, making me cry out, “and,” He continues, “I’ve been spanking your ass ~ I hope you do feel submissive!”

And i have to laugh too, and i say, “Yes, no, i mean, that’s not quite what i mean, i don’t know what i mean,” cause you know, i lose my words when i’m in that head space,

and He laughs and says, “I think maybe you mean you feel wonderfully submissive?”  and i agree, because yes, for sure i do.

But youall know there is more to it than the pleasure.  Something inside me shifts, something inside me becomes more fully His, not just in that moment, but after too.

And i don’t have the words for it.

Anyhow, that’s not what i was going to talk about today,  i was gonna tell you about the hard rammer, in case you’ve forgotten, it looks like this:

And really, i thought it was going to be toooooo big, i thought it might hurt, i was really a little bit worried, and i was afraid He’d push it too far in and afraid it would just freak me out, but ~~~

um, it didn’t hurt, it was a little uncomfortable just at first, but Six X said He’d had experience with these, and clearly, He had because it was intensely, amazingly wonderful, and He seemed to know just how far and how hard and ~~

O, it was lovely.  🙂

12 Responses to “The Hard Rammer”

  1. sin October 9, 2011 at 7:18 am #

    I think of it as the “I would do anything for you” feeling. It’s submissive, it’s almost a moment of madness, glorying in what is, prepared for what comes, almost wanting more ie. the branding iron, just to prove hw submissive, how ready I am to submit. Or something like that.

    But jeez, Aisha, the branding iron? Jump in at the deep end why don’t you?

    • aisha October 9, 2011 at 6:37 pm #

      @Sin,

      Yes. I thought of you as I was writing this – it is “that” moment, that feeling. And, oh, It’s wonderful.

      And – laughing – ok, not really a branding iron… I can be a wee bit dramatic from time to time, but no. Not really.

      aisha

  2. Mick October 9, 2011 at 7:54 am #

    Sounds like you had a good evening down river too.

    • aisha October 9, 2011 at 6:38 pm #

      @Mick,

      O, gosh, i really did. So far, they are all good evenings with him.

      And y’all had quite a night up river!!

      aisha

  3. nancy October 9, 2011 at 9:24 am #

    I know exactly that feeling, Aisha and I never can say it at the time… I’m speechless then.

    I always try to say it later.. but even then I fumble with the words. Thankfully, Sir is patient and lets me ramble!
    And I know the “branding iron is fine” too.. it really would NOT be.. but at the time.. sure, bring it on!~!

    Glad you had such a good time~~

    • aisha October 9, 2011 at 6:46 pm #

      @Nancy,

      It’s so cool to know how many other subs know the feeling… and yeah, even afterwards, it’s really, really hard to find words for it!

      As for the branding iron – right – not for real, but it sure feels like I’d do it!

      Thanks,

      aisha

  4. Bill October 9, 2011 at 10:54 am #

    The sounds made are the sounds we need to make and it seems that Sir X has found the way to bring them out! Glad you’re in your perfect place!

    • aisha October 9, 2011 at 6:46 pm #

      @Bill,

      Thanks!

      Yes, I think you’re right. He is just what i need. Thanks!

      {Grinning}

      aisha

  5. Faithful October 9, 2011 at 11:05 am #

    your post gave me goose bumps!

    so very content you sound.

    ~faithful

    • aisha October 9, 2011 at 6:49 pm #

      @Faithful,

      Thank you – you know i really am content, and i’m glad this post “spoke to you.”

      Speaking of speaking – not trying to nag – but your blog?

      hugs,

      aisha

      • Faithful October 9, 2011 at 7:16 pm #

        lol.. can’t put anything past you aisha!

        Jewish Holidays took priority this week (well that and my Bday of course) and just really busy at work and with a side opportunity I am working on.

        thanks for remembering and caring…it is a work in progress.. my goal is to launch it before
        Thanksgiving.

        ~faithful

      • aisha October 9, 2011 at 7:21 pm #

        Oh, cool! Then I will quit nagging you until Thanksgiving, but as time goes by, if you think I’ve forgotten ~~

        ~~ um, think again…

        laughing – aisha

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