I Did It Again…

13 Oct

i did it again… that thing i do where i don’t hear from “Him” and He’s not responding to emails and i get all freaked out.

i HATE when i do that.

It was only a little over a day that i hadn’t heard from “Him,” and i’d only sent Him two or three messages ~ increasingly short ones~ and then i began fussing at myself for being worried.

You know, the stupid arguments in my own head:  

“It’s only been a day…”  “But He said He’d let me know about Thursday…”
>
> “Maybe He’s busy…”  “But it would  just take a minute to tell me that…”
>
> “Maybe He’s not interested any more…”  “Surely He’d tell me if He wasn’t… if I’d done something…”
>
> and so on.
>
> It’s a little ridiculous, and a whole lot needy ~~”

and that’s exactly what i ended up telling Him yesterday morning, because if we’re going to have a relationship i want to be transparent and He might as well know the worst.  

And then – because i really can do this too ~ i calmed myself back down and prepared to wait without more anxiety.

His answer came in the early afternoon, and i was so happy i could hardly stand it.   i knew right away it was ok, because He called me “my sweet” in the first line, and then later on, He called me “little one,” and i just about swooned.

But Sfp is right ~ apparently they don’t mind being bothered.  Apparently He doesn’t mind a little neediness.  

‘Cause last night we talked for a long time before i went to sleep.  And just thinking about it makes me feel all cuddled and safe.

So i did it again ~ that thing where i get all freaked ~ but with a happy ending this time… 

{Still smiling…}

16 Responses to “I Did It Again…”

  1. sin October 13, 2011 at 7:01 am #

    We’re such girls aren’t we? I’m glad it went well.

    • aisha October 13, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

      @Sin,

      Laughing… no doubt! Thanks!

      aisha

  2. greengirl October 13, 2011 at 7:07 am #

    Early on in this journey for us, a friend told me that my husband would need to reassure me about things like this again and again and again, and that it would be very important for him to do that. He was right.

    • aisha October 13, 2011 at 8:34 pm #

      @Gg,

      Hmmm. Yeah, that makes sense and sounds about right. Yes.

      Thanks – I appreciate your perspective!

      aisha

  3. vanillamom October 13, 2011 at 8:53 am #

    *grinning*

    yeah…i so so so so soooooo get this.

    And sometimes? i think they enjoy our desperate neediness…(i mean, who doesn’t want to be wanted, right?)

    (and for a Top…it’s got to be even sweeter!)

    i’ve been known to text Master after a particularly vexing day saying “MASTER!! Where ARE You? i SO need a spanking!!”

    (which makes Him laugh, actually)

    and eventually He’ll respond and say “of course you do.”

    and just that, those 4 words?

    fill me up with happy.

    Did i mention how happy i am that Sir X is filling you similarly?

    *smiling*

    nilla

    • aisha October 13, 2011 at 8:38 pm #

      Dear ‘Nilla,

      You and your Master are so sweet and cute, it kills me – I love to listen to you…

      I don’t know yet about them enjoying our wanton neediness – or I mean desperate neediness – or whatever… but I guess I’m gonna find out! So far, it seems like he might, and that’s pretty amazing!

      Thank you for sharing my happiness!!

      Hug,

      aisha

  4. MissNaida October 13, 2011 at 11:26 am #

    ahh, sure sounds good to have that reassurance and the air lightened ❤
    Needy is a good thing I think … well in some ways. There must be a line somewhere between needy-cute and needy-weak and for some reason, you don't strike me as the type to go for the "needy-weak" approach 😉 xo that may or may not have made sense lmao well, it's a good thing I knwo what I'm tryin' to say!! have a good day

    • aisha October 13, 2011 at 8:41 pm #

      @Naida,

      Yes, it was a great relief to let go of that tension!

      I don’t think I’m needy-weak {yes there’s a difference} because I kind of think any needy is too much, so maybe I am needy-cute – that would be good!

      laughing…

      yes, that made perfect sense to me!

      hug,

      aisha

  5. Faithful October 13, 2011 at 6:28 pm #

    Oh aisha- you are just too cute as a button. Nothing like feeling like you are 15 even if you are over 50.. right?

    I don’t fret like I used to…. I discussed with Master early on and I asked him even if he is busy (which in his Military line of work is an understatement) can we have a text sign- something simple that shows me he is thinking of me.. So we have our 🙂 it means in our Master/slave speak “I love you”. It works for us… keeps me very sane and allows him to let his slave know how he feels.. simple and easy!

    Just a thought 🙂

    ~faithful

    • aisha October 13, 2011 at 8:44 pm #

      @Faithful,

      Um, thanks for the “cute as a button” – I think – laughing… i’m glad you think so!

      That is a good plan you and your Master have! Simple and effective! I’m sure Sir X and I will work out some kind of system to deal with times he can’t easily be in touch – thanks for the suggestion!

      aisha

  6. Jazmine October 13, 2011 at 6:50 pm #

    I SO get the panic thing, lol. I’m so glad it turned out so wonderfully. That makes all the difference in the world. 🙂

    • aisha October 13, 2011 at 8:45 pm #

      @Jazmine,

      Thanks for the understanding – I know that you “get it” better than most people could!

      And thanks for commenting! I’m always delighted to see you here!

      hug,

      aisha

  7. Sky October 13, 2011 at 7:05 pm #

    I can relate, Aisha. I’m glad you were able to talk about it :).

    Take care. Sky

    • aisha October 13, 2011 at 8:45 pm #

      Thanks, Sky, I really appreciate the support!

      hugs,

      aisha

  8. Mick October 13, 2011 at 8:54 pm #

    Definitely a chick thing. Simone acts that way too, even when she’s got her slave around to help take the edge off.

    Sam

    • aisha October 13, 2011 at 9:00 pm #

      Um, hi, Sam,

      So Simone gets “that way” too? Thanks – that’s good to know!

      And thanks for commenting!

      aisha

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