Veterans Day, Warriors and Doms

11 Nov

“The Way of a Warrior is based on humanity, love, and sincerity; the heart of martial valor is true bravery, wisdom, love, and friendship. Emphasis on the physical aspects of warriorship is futile, for the power of the body is always limited.”
– Ueshiba Morihei, The Art Of Peace

I’m pondering that quote today ~ Veteran’s Day ~ posted it on Facebook too.  

As you may have guessed, if you’ve been reading my blog a while, i didn’t grow up with great male role models.   They weren’t awful ~ not when i was growing up ~ they just weren’t there.

My first “romantic relationship” was abusive, inherently by virtue of the 8 year age gap – i was “just turned 13.”  Later, it was abusive physically and sexually.

For the longest time, i thought men were nice and weak or “bad” and powerful.  Being submissive, being a strong woman, i was drawn to power.

Not always my best choice in a vanilla world.

It’s taken me a lifetime to realize those are not my only choices.  

John Eldridge touts the idea that in order to grow up, boys need to find the answer to the question, “Am I man enough?”   He says that in our culture ~ devoid of initiation rites ~ they often end up asking the women in their lives that question.

And we can NOT give them the answer they need to hear.  O, we can say, “YES!  OMG, YES!  Of course you’re man enough.”  We can say it a million times, in different ways.  

It doesn’t matter.  They need to hear it from other men.  They need to earn the “yes, you are man enough.”

i’ve come to believe this is true.  

i’ve come to understand that male power is not necessarily violent and harmful. Not necessarily uncontrolled.

Some of that learning has come through BDSM.  When i read the quote about the Way of the Warrior, i think we could almost substitute The Way of the Dom/me.

{Note:  A Warrior Spirit exists in women too.  It may not be primary for most of us, but it’s there – think “Mama Bear.”  Our ways of managing it and coming to terms with it are different.}

Anyhow.  All of this ~ and my point is?

It’s Veterans Day ~

~~ Thank you to all the veterans,

                      ~to those who died protecting us, 

~to those whose lives were forever changed by the battle,

      ~~and to all those who were willing to serve.

i wanted to share my gratitude to those with the spirit of Warriors,

And to Dom/mes who hold their integrity and their strength as beacons of light, leading us home, keeping us safe.

Thank you all.

10 Responses to “Veterans Day, Warriors and Doms”

  1. vanillamom November 11, 2011 at 7:55 am #

    absolutely powerful message today aisha.

    you are in your way, a warrior as well…i was looking for a female name for the novel…one of power and strength since the character is a Domme.

    Third name on the list i reference a lot? aisha.

    and i nodded and said, yup, “my” aisha is just that strong, just that powerful, and didn’t you go and prove it with this resonant post.

    i have many thoughts on this, most will remain private, or i will email you of them when it’s time to release them…

    but what you said here resonates.


    deeply moved.

    • aisha November 11, 2011 at 6:45 pm #

      Dear ‘Nilla,

      Thank you so much, i’m so glad it had meaning for you.

      And thanks for your kind words about my own strength.

      I’ll look forward to hearing anything you’re moved to share, sister of mine.


  2. ahiddenslave November 11, 2011 at 7:59 am #

    We forget to say “thank you” for little things, we shouldn’t forget the big ones.

    • aisha November 11, 2011 at 6:46 pm #


      Isn’t that the truth???

      Thank you.


  3. Bill November 11, 2011 at 8:39 am #

    Sad you had to wait to find the best side of men, we are a quirky lot. I have no patience with abuse of any kind, women, children, animals, the lot. I spent to much time listening to families question the clues they missed or ignored. Glad your have found a good one and hope it can push the bad memories into that area we call experience, always learned the hard way.

    • aisha November 11, 2011 at 6:49 pm #

      Dear Bill,

      Thank you so much for your comment.

      And you know, {grinning…} it wasn’t all bad in the past. Men are interesting, challenging and often delightful creatures. There’s been lots to enjoy along the way.

      But yeah, now is a new ball game – how cool is that?



  4. Sir J November 11, 2011 at 9:54 am #

    I would suggest that most men are not “man enough” until they can answer that question yes in their own soul. Yes it it nice to hear it from others, men and women, and it carries some weight from each especially depending on the context. However it is not truly felt and believed until the answer is yes deep inside, in that dark, quiet spot within when you most need it to be true.

    At least it was that way for this man.

    • aisha November 11, 2011 at 6:56 pm #

      Dear Master J,

      Yes, of course, you’re absolutely right. And I love the way you describe it.

      I think Eldridge would agree too.

      That is the quality that I’ve seen more with Dom’s than ever before ~ what you described. A man who knows within himself that he is man enough.

      That’s a Dom this sub can kneel in front of.

      Thank you for your comment.


  5. Sky November 11, 2011 at 10:32 am #

    A lovely post. Thank you, Aisha.

    Take care, Sky

    • aisha November 11, 2011 at 6:56 pm #

      Thank you, Sky. I’m glad you liked it.


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