A Happy Dance

18 Dec

Yep.  i was wrong.

He is my Sir.

i don’t feel bad about doubting it.  Three months, ya know.  You would have doubted too, if you were me.  Nothing wrong with doubting.

But i was wrong.  {insert happy dance}

He is who i thought He was.  

Not some dark Dom who dominates from a distance.  Not some asshole who’s pretending to be a Dom so he can get his… you know, get his.

My Sir is a man who has lived through some difficult times and grown into a person of substance.  A Dom by nature, He has learned to channel His ability to lead in ways that are productive and meaningful.

My Sir is not afraid to question Himself, and He learns best by experimenting with life around Him.  He can be contrary and probably stubborn, but His heart is always kind and He seeks to harm none.

Last night, He showed me through actions and words and future plans that He does value me.  He knew He had hurt me, and He made amends in a way that repaired the damage and put us back on the path to deeper relationship.

 i didn’t need to prompt Him or tell Him what He needed to do.  His actions were clear from the moment He arrived.   i waited, and the words came later.

i let Him give me His thoughts and perspective.  i listened.   i was attentive to the things He did as well as what He said.  

He took responsibility for Hs actions.  He apologized.  He suggested what we need to do to prevent some similar problems. 

We will communicate more clearly with each other in the future, to avoid similar “glitches.”

Yep.  i was wrong.  He is who i’ve thought He was from the beginning ~ the kind of person, that is.

i’ve never been so happy to be wrong!

Sorry if i took y’all down a sad path too, but you know, what are friends for?  Laughing…   Seriously, thank you, thank you, thank you for all the support.

i think ~ really, i think i had to go through that to get to this stage of relationship.  And i think He was going through His own stuff at the same time, so it wasn’t a waste of energy.  It was part of the path.

{insert happy dance…}

Gotta go ~ just a few more ornaments to hang, Xmas cards to write, and a little shopping to do…

{dancing off to the living room… a trail of sparkles hanging in the air…}

27 Responses to “A Happy Dance”

  1. Alice December 18, 2011 at 9:51 am #

    Cherish those sparkles and know that doubting is part of growing. I’m smiling for you. Alice.

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:10 am #

      Thank you, Alice ~ wise advice, i am cherishing them! And thanks for celebrating with me!


  2. K December 18, 2011 at 10:07 am #

    No relationship is perfect …..I’m dancing with you that this one is promising 🙂 From the posts you had written, you clearly had your concerns and didn’t hide them from Him. You also didn’t lash out. I bet He was just as reassured by you, as you were by Him. You know what they say, a sign of a good relationship is not just how two people get along, but how they resolve conflict.

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:12 am #


      No doubt! Relationships are tough too! But yeah, you’re right, part of what made this work is that i didn’t try to hurt him back. Yeah.

      And one of my therapy goals has been to have a relationship where we can have conflict and still each hold on to who we are, and work through it So thanks for the reminder.



  3. Striving for Peace December 18, 2011 at 10:08 am #


    I’m very happy sister.


    I didn’t doubt it — because I know how completely lovable you are.

    I’m happy to hear your heart light



    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:12 am #


      Smiling… thank you, heartsister.



  4. thesubmissivebf December 18, 2011 at 10:10 am #

    It’s good to be wrong 🙂

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:13 am #


      No doubt!! 🙂

      Thank you for your support and understanding…


  5. Jz December 18, 2011 at 10:14 am #

    Oh, I grinned just seeing the title in my blogroll!


    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:14 am #


      Grinning… Thanks!


  6. lil December 18, 2011 at 10:43 am #

    Sometimes it’s awesome to be wrong!

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:14 am #


      i know! Who knew? Laughing…


  7. sin December 18, 2011 at 10:45 am #

    You know, it’s okay to have doubts. I think it’s normal to have doubts. I expect you’ll have doubts and problems and challenges in the future too. Real people do. But I’m so glad there are sparkles today!

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:17 am #


      Yes, absolutely. i agree. i hope that after a while they’re not quite so extreme ~ i really thought maybe i’d been completely duped by Him, that we were totally not even on the same page. So the relief is tremendous.

      And yes, {smiling} the sparkles are fun!



  8. vanillamom December 18, 2011 at 11:38 am #

    and that which was cloudy has been wiped clear with a smile of brilliant love…

    blessed be heartsister..


    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:18 am #

      Dear ‘Nilla

      i love that phrase. Is that a quote for something or just your own way with words?

      Thank you for ALL the support,


  9. Faithful December 18, 2011 at 1:25 pm #

    simply wonderful!!! Happy Dance indeed 🙂


    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:18 am #

      Thanks, faithful,

      Hope whatever is going on in your life that you’re dancing too!


  10. Sky December 18, 2011 at 3:30 pm #

    So happy for you, Aisha 🙂

  11. Faerie December 18, 2011 at 5:14 pm #

    Sounds like growing pains. Growth is a good thing. My experience is that the pains that get thrust upon us are the ones that cause the most growth. I figure as long as I learn the associated lesson then I have accomplished something. Thanks for sharing I needed some sparkles today.

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:20 am #


      Yes, as it turns out, i think you’re absolutely right. It was about growth ~ my own, and ours together. And that makes it all worthwhile.

      Glad the sparkles brightened your day too!



  12. greengirl December 18, 2011 at 7:03 pm #

    As honest and up front as you are – i know we never see the whole thing. I am soooo glad to hear that you both did what the other needed to allow you both to feel better about things and go back to enjoying each other.

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:21 am #


      That’s true, isn’t it? Big chunks of private here. But yes, it was ~ you know, when i look back on Saturday night, i’m really touched by how gentle and careful and kind we were with each other.




  13. abby December 18, 2011 at 8:55 pm #

    Yeah for happy dances! I have found that after a period of doubt a/o difficulty, getting throught it means you grown in a significant way! abby

    • vanillamom December 18, 2011 at 10:20 pm #

      okay, i did reply this morning…not sure when but …didn’t want your sparkley bubblieness to go unnoted!

      you remind me of champaigne…all bottled up and needing to POP…and suddenly you are overflowing that bubbly-goodness all over everybody.

      it is LOVELY to see you so so so happy.


      • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:26 am #


        i FEEL like champagne opened! Absolutely! {Only hopefully not opened like they were doing at the party i went to, where they made the corks fly across the room, which is really dangerous and could put someone’s eye out!}

        And since you, in particular, had to listen to/ read long drawn out versions of He said, i said, and you held my hand while i fretted and brooded, i’m glad you’re enjoying the dance!



    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 5:22 am #


      Yep, i think you’re right! Thanks for enjoying the dance with me!


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