Updates and Check-Ins

19 Dec

i went to the Special Interest Group discussion yesterday.  The topic was “the funniest thing you’ve seen in a dungeon or at a play party.”  That opened it up for some pretty great stories.  They’re not mine to tell though, so i won’t.

The funniest thing i’ve seen in a dungeon was at COPE, and i might have already told the story.  There was a woman being whipped with a single-tail, her hands were fastened to the St. Andrews cross, but she was dancing in time to the music and smiling.  

Drew and i were watching her, and it went on for the longest time.  We’d look away, watch something else, and then look back and there she’d be, still smiling and dancing while her Top whaled on her with a single-tail.

Ok, maybe it was odd-funny, not ha ha funny….  anyhow.

i got to the restaurant late ~ not using my GPS  turned out to be a mistake.  i ended up on an expressway when i shouldn’t have been and had to drive halfway round the world to get back to where i needed to be.  But other than that, i had a good time.

i sat across from Caile, who commented on a post recently, and Kenny, who’s the switch who was presented with “earned leather” last month at the munch, and some other people i hadn’t met before.  Some interesting conversation.  A lovely Greek salad.  And good stories.  Life doesn’t get much better.

One of the things we talked about was communication, which leads me back here to Greengirl’s recent post about her reaction when her husband/Dom asks how her day was.  It’s a short post, but provocative, you can read it here.

She was surprised, and i was too when i thought about it, how many of us don’t believe that people who ask, “How are you?” or “How was your day?” really want to know.   

i went back to look at comments on her post ~ there are lots of them ~ and found one by Mamacrow, who says she does enjoy sharing the little events of the day with her “Him.”  She adds :  

“It’s a bit like two children emptying their pockets and sharing the treasures they’ve found that day… a shell, some string, etc!”

i love that image ~ somehow, i picture them on a summer day, sitting on a bridge, dangling their feet off the side.   And i thought, “i want that.”

i sent the quote and the little bit of explanation to Sir X, to open a conversation around that.  i think a big part of making that true is up to me ~ i need to trust that He does want to hear when He asks.  But i also think it’s the kind of thing it’s good to talk about.  Since He’s not actually a mind reader.

{And does it not frigging amaze you how insecure i can be when i get sooooo much affirmation from other people?  i think there’s a lesson there somewhere…}

On a whole different note, on the way home from the discussion, i stopped at Target to get Xmas cards, and bought some new boots.  

Yeah, i know, that’s a little self-indulgent.  But they’re super cute ~ black, of course ~  slouch boots.  Knee high.  If Mick does his boot picture thing this year, i’ll show you.

Every week, i’ve been setting little goals for myself.  This week:

i’ll finish getting ready for Christmas, and enjoy doing it.

i’ll keep eating healthy food.  i’ve done pretty well, although last night i scarfed down 5 of Ms. Constance’s cookies in about 5 minutes.  But they were small cookies, and extraordinarily delicious.  And i stopped at 5 ~ i didn’t keep going!

Besides, my heart feels so light, i think i must have lost some weight already.  🙂

10 Responses to “Updates and Check-Ins”

  1. Mick December 19, 2011 at 5:34 am #

    Was that some form of BDSM aerobics?


    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 6:08 pm #

      @Mick – lol – could well have been! Aisha

      Sent from my iPhone

  2. sin December 19, 2011 at 7:25 am #

    I like the analogy of sharing what’s in our pockets after a day apart. I do that with my man.

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 6:10 pm #


      Yeah. I can imagine that between you. Sweet.


      Sent from my iPhone

  3. vanillamom December 19, 2011 at 8:33 am #

    i’m envious of your skill at setting reasonable goals for yourself and then following through…maybe not 100% but there is still forward progression, yes?

    i’ve set one. Kept it up too.

    i can feel your super happyness, sis, i really feel it throbbing off the ‘page’ here…(and yes, yesterday’s words were nilla words not a quote)…

    i am so happy for you…big giant hugs…


    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 6:13 pm #

      Dear ‘Nilla-

      That goal setting thing? Tons of practice. And I still set the bar too high too often. But I shrug when I miss more often these days.

      And your goal was huge and youre doing it!!

      Sigh- and I am happy. Very happy.



      Sent from my iPhone

  4. greengirl December 19, 2011 at 9:17 am #

    That is such a nice image mamacrow left. In this case, with my husband, I don’t believe my reasons for acting this way have to do with thinking he doesn’t want to hear – but my reasons are equally misguided and unhelpful, in fact, unfair to him. I am going to take the image of sharing our day with wonder and try to change my responses and see what happens.

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 10:00 pm #


      Yes – and i hope i didn’t imply that it was your reason! Like you though, i’m going to try to use that image…


  5. Faerie December 19, 2011 at 9:47 pm #

    I love mamacrow’s anaology, we do that too, and it’s one of the parts of my day that I look forward to.

    I’m also a goal setter, you just have to remember to assess and adjust as needed. If you do that the growth, learning and fulfillment follow.

    • aisha December 19, 2011 at 10:02 pm #


      Sweet. i think it would be wonderful to have that.

      You’re so right about the goal thing! Otherwise, if you don’t adjust and make changes, it’s not really so helpful.



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