The Essence of Submission

21 Dec

Alice made a comment about the feeling that goes with the position i described yesterday ~ a position that, as it turns out, is the Gorean slave position Nadu.

Who knew?

Well, clearly i didn’t, but one of my readers did, and kindly emailed me some pictures of women in that position.  One of them was exactly what i had in mind.

i’m not posting that one because you can see her face – it’s clearly a photograph ~ and i don’t know who she is ~ i mean, i don’t know if she would be ok with it posted here.  But here are some other images:

i think her legs are more open than i have in mind, and the same is true here:

But the rest of it is right.  Let me see if i can obscure the face of this other one, the one my reader sent.

Yep.  That’s it.

i still don’t know why i felt compelled to post the picture, but i did, and now i feel better.

Alice talked about the feeling that goes with the posture ~ she describes it as:  “being ready to receive all, willing to give all, peaceful and blissful… “

And i thought, for me, that’s really the essence of submission.  i wonder if it is for others too  

It made me think about a post by Jake’s wife and sub, Joy, over here.  It sounded like she was just beginning to really feel that, which is pretty cool.  A taste of subspace, maybe.

And hmmm, it’s not about sex.    It’s arousing, and it may lead to some great sex, but that’s not what it’s about.

i don’t know where i’m going with this ~ no where, apparently, cause i need to start moving through the day right now.  i don’t know where the time goes.

But ~ here’s my point ~ for me, this is what submission is truly about.  The receptive openness, longing to give, the willing heart…

19 Responses to “The Essence of Submission”

  1. Jake December 21, 2011 at 6:19 am #

    Thanks for the link, Aisha. Joy did, in fact, have a fairly major breakthrough the other night, and she’s continued the past couple nights as well. According to what she’s told me, the feeling she has is one of acceptance, of releasing control and being peace without it. And there’s definitely a longing to give quality to it as well. Not sure if that’s exactly the same thing you describe or not, but it’s at least within shouting distance.

    Take care, and hope your day goes well!

    • aisha December 21, 2011 at 6:54 am #

      @Jake –

      Yeah. That’s it. Isn’t that cool?

      So what’s the Dom equivalent? What’s the essence of the Domly feeling?

      Um, just curious…


      • Jake December 22, 2011 at 8:01 am #

        Only have a moment, so these are quick thoughts, but IMHO, the Domly feeling is one of power, of being able to control events and your partner, and of having things under control and going according to plan. It’s a feeling that you are doing something and it is succeeding. However, there’s also a quality of responsibility to it, or being responsible for your partner and living up to the responsibility…

        I’ll have to think more about this, though, and see if I can capture it more exactly.

      • aisha December 23, 2011 at 5:58 am #

        Yeah, i can see that. So it really is a feeling of mastery, isn’t it? Very cool.

        Thanks for sharing these thoughts, it gives me some idea of what it might feel like.


  2. vanillamom December 21, 2011 at 8:15 am #

    yes…it’s that open, ready, willingness to give all of you in whichever way He chooses to receive it.

    It’s not just about sex…it is about domination and control.

    And trust.

    Without trust there can be nothing else…


    ps great picture, that last one…

    • aisha December 22, 2011 at 5:40 am #


      Glad you liked the picture..

      And yes. Domination, control, and trust. Powerful stuff.



  3. greengirl December 21, 2011 at 8:23 am #

    It is a beautiful feeling. I often wonder – i know my husband likes me the way i am at those times, but i still wonder if he has any inkling of the depth or the intensity or how very much it is focused on him.

    • aisha December 22, 2011 at 5:42 am #


      i know, it can be almost overwhelming, internally. If that makes any sense.

      But – reading your most recent post – it sounds like he’s becoming more aware and more comfortable with your submission. Comfortable is probably not the right word. More – more open to it?


  4. Bill December 21, 2011 at 11:14 am #

    The Gorean tradition has some interesting examples of submission, not always practicable, but interesting in how one looks at submission.

    • aisha December 22, 2011 at 5:42 am #


      No doubt! i remember stumbling on Slave Girl of Gor back in my non-BDSM-practicing days and being ~ um, overwhelmed. Intense and scary.


      • wilf mu February 2, 2013 at 6:27 am #

        Oh man! Slave Girl of Gor really takes me back. I stumbled across a paperback copy in the library of the college I was attending 30 years ago, and found it intense and arousing…but also left me feeling disturbed that it turned me on. But, later I bought my own copy anyway.

        I forgot all about the book until a couple of years into marriage when my wife told me she found it in with my stuff and had read it over 3 or 4 times. Same reaction — she was offended…thought it was demeaning to women…but said reading it always made her horny, and she wanted to try out being my kajira…beginning first with learning the slave positions.

        Maybe it’s just me, but I found that going through the Gor books that they actually were much more vague on the details when sex was mentioned, than I imagined when I read them the first time. Both my wife and me thought the nadu position had to be for fellatio, but the Gor novels never mention oral sex as far as I know. But it is for us! Whenever I give her the command “Nadu” she knows what’s coming next! We’ve had to be discreet about practicing the Gorean lifestyle after having children. But now that the last one will be leaving home this year, she will be able to practice being a kajira for me outside of the bedroom. I’m looking forward to it already.

      • aisha February 2, 2013 at 11:14 am #

        That’s very cool!! Thanks so much for sharing your story here. It’s amazing the impact that books have on us, isn’t it? i’m glad it worked out so well for both of you.

        And thanks for reading the blog and for commenting!

  5. Sky December 21, 2011 at 11:42 am #

    Lovely photos Aisha. I kneel when I meditate daily focusing on my submission. It really helps me. I hope one day to feel those feelings of being totally open to giving and receiving.

    Take care. Sky

    • aisha December 22, 2011 at 5:44 am #


      Thanks, glad you liked the pictures.

      Yeah, kneeling does carry a signal to the brain, doesn’t it?

      i’m sure you will experience those feelings, if you keep moving in the D/s realm.


  6. Alice December 21, 2011 at 12:07 pm #

    🙂 Yes, that’s the essence of submission for me too. Sometimes I feel only parts of it… like I’m willing to give, not receive; willing to receive but not give; or sometimes I am willing to do both but the peace and bliss don’t accompany it… when it’s all there together, it’s perfect and beautiful and submission at it’s most perfect moment, to me.

    • aisha December 22, 2011 at 5:45 am #


      Good point! It doesn’t always come together perfectly. But when it does – o, yeah.

      Thanks, good point.


  7. Faerie December 21, 2011 at 8:23 pm #

    That’s exactly the image I had in my head from your description, the last one.

    Wow, this post and the comments have just totally flooded my brain, lots to think about. I’ll have the time to think soon, Musicman is home and on the mend.

    • aisha December 22, 2011 at 5:49 am #


      Cool. It’s weird that it was so important to me to find an actual picture, but i’m glad i can let that go now!

      And glad that i’ve given you food for thought! Thank goodness Musicman is home and recuperating ~ i’m so happy for you both!


  8. wilf February 4, 2013 at 2:51 pm #

    If it’s okay to add a followup to my previous comment, I forgot to add that I didn’t know my wife was into this bdsm stuff when we moved in together and then made it official by getting married, until the night I found her masturbating herself while reading “Slavegirl Of Gor” in bed. Apparently, she had been doing this a few times before when I was working late, and that night I was home early but she didn’t hear me come in.

    I don’t know if the info can be verified, but I have heard that at least 40% of Gor novel readers are women. That is a surprisingly high number compared to the rest of the SF genre, which doesn’t appeal to a female audience for the most part. Part of the reason for the success of Gor would likely be the way it gets inside the head of its protagonists, describing the character’s emotions and personal reactions.

    That incident was a great icebreaker to start a conversation about desires she had that I was mostly clued out about. I knew about her previous boyfriend…who was still stalking her after we started going together and actually came to blows with…and eventually gathered enough evidence to have him charged with break and enter and uttering death threats. I wasn’t informed that he was a dangerous sadist, who had taken advantage of her submissive instincts and she had been enduring extreme pain as part of playing his “games” but cooperated until the games included asphyxia and even blacking out! That was when she realized he had no concerns for her welfare and was actually a threat to her very life.

    So, I was not the type that she would have been interested in previously, and she wanted to end the whole bdsm thing completely and erase it from memory…..but then she discovered that book! And very slowly, she started teaching me how to be the master that she could act out her submissive fantasies while still feeling safe. A lot of the reason may have been my reluctance to go down this path because I had grown up in a dysfunctional home seeing my mother being assaulted and abused by my father. So, I had a hard time letting go and enjoying playing the maledom role.

    I wonder if you, or other female submissives have a similar reaction that maybe it’s a little risky getting with the guy who is really enthusiastic about dominance and inflicting pain etc.? If the games start getting intense, how are you able to be sure that the guy is really safe, rather than some dangerous psychopath like my wife’s previous boyfriend?

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