O, Yes…

5 Jan

So i sent my Sir the spanking fantasy i’d written yesterday, and ~ you may not be surprised to hear this ~ i got the spanking i’d been longing for.  It was just as lovely as i’d imagined.

{Pause for a moment while i remember exactly how nice it was…  and some other things around it… before it, my nipples are perking up at the memory… mmmmm…. afterwards, kneeling…}

Ok.  Whew.

On top of that, we had dinner in a nice little Mexican restaurant, and lots of conversation about all kinds of things, during dinner, and after our other experiences.

The more time i spend with Him, the more He tells me about Himself, the more drawn to Him i am.  He is really an extraordinary man.

There are so many things He does that are just ~ they’re just right for me.

It scares me a little bit, how much i trust Him.  And that’s ok.  It’s scary to be falling this much into someone.

i could talk about Him all day, but then i don’t want to put a lot of His personal information here in cyber space.  i mean, not kink stuff, but the stories that make me love Him.  i can say…

He’s such a good father to his kids.  

And protective of me.  Protective in just the right amount and ways.  You know, feeling protected is fairly new for me, it’s not an experience i grew up with, or experienced often in past relationships.

And that’s ok ~ i learned to protect myself in lots of ways.  

i discovered that sometimes protection was just a covert way of controlling me, not in a way i wanted to be controlled.  

And sometimes protection was a way of posturing ~ he takes a protective stance, and then can congratulate himself on being a great protector.   That’s about him, not about what i need.  It’s about his need to protect, not my need to be protected.

Sir’s focus is on the situation and on me.  It’s not about his own posturing, and it’s not about trying to control.  It’s about what’s needed in the situation.

There’s a situation that He’s handling for me ~ that’s how i know how He is.  i’ve trusted Him with it, and let it rest in His hands.

That’s been a learning experience for me.  i’ve resisted all kinds of impulses to ask Him about a plan, or what He’s thinking about it, and so on.

As time has gone by, i’ve begun to realize what He’s doing, and to recognize the wisdom of restraint. His and mine.

Last night, we talked about it.  Last night, i was able to talk about it without questioning Him, or trying to prompt Him to explain Himself.  We were just talking about it.

That was so good for me.  And at some point, i suddenly had this sense of being ~ cared for?  taken care of?  Protected, but in a way that ~ He was looking out for my best interest.

It could have been about Him, but it wasn’t.

Yeah.

It felt really good.

i’m not saying i’ve never felt that before, it just doesn’t happen often.

We talked about Winter Wickedness too, which is just around the corner.  i’m so excited.

He is making me a collar and wrist and ankle cuffs to go with it to wear while we’re there…. how sweet is that?

i know He’s not perfect ~ i really do know that.   But He gives me so much pleasure, so much to think about, so much to learn from.

And i know that He values me.

Sigh… i’m such a happy girl…

14 Responses to “O, Yes…”

  1. Sky January 5, 2012 at 8:12 am #

    Aisha. I can see you glowing from here. You sound absolutely radiant. I’m so happy for you!

    Fondly. Sky

    • aisha January 5, 2012 at 9:34 pm #

      Thanks, Sky!

      laughing… it’s nice to have you share my pleasure in all this. That’s really sweet of you.

      hug,

      aisha

  2. vanillamom January 5, 2012 at 8:29 am #

    mmmm…i love *hearing* the happy.

    Trust is such a hard thing…and to lay something that is a “fret” into His hands and let it be handled by Him…the hardest thing, really…

    sometimes i’m like an annoying Pekinese…bouncing up and saying “Sir?” “Sir?” “Sir?”….(or Master, but you get my drift, right?)…uh…i guess that really means i have impulse control issues…but then again, you know me…*grinning*….

    the fact that you can just …sit on it…is wicked kewl! I see the braiding of you two, together. I see your Sir, and you fitting together so beautifully.

    and i’ve seen the smile on your face when He is standing within 5 feet of you…you shine, sistah…oh, how you shine!

    nilla

    • aisha January 5, 2012 at 9:41 pm #

      @Nilla,

      Laughing… i know and i appreciate your support!

      Trust is hard, letting go is not the easiest thing for me either, but i think it’s important. i want to ~ i want to be worthy of Him. He has so much strength and poise, and i want to match that.

      I love the way you describe us “braiding together” – yes, we are. 🙂

      And o, gosh, i feel all shiny! For real.

      hugs, and love,

      aisha

  3. greengirl January 5, 2012 at 9:04 am #

    Is there a word for being jealous – in really good and so happy for you kind of way?

    • aisha January 5, 2012 at 9:42 pm #

      @Gg,

      Yesss… i think you just said it!!

      Thank you ~ 🙂

      aisha

  4. Faithful January 5, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

    It is really wonderful to see you so happy!!!

    Love is grand when it fulfills you this way 🙂

    ~faithful

    • aisha January 5, 2012 at 9:43 pm #

      Thanks, Faithful ~ it is grand, isn’t it? hugs, aisha

  5. Faerie January 5, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

    He doesn’t need to be perfect, He just needs to be be what is perfect for you and it sounds like he is.

    • aisha January 5, 2012 at 9:46 pm #

      @Faerie

      Yes, of course. Well actually he doesn’t even have to be perfect for me, he just has to be “good enough!” {laughing…} that’s actually kind of a therapy joke. Sorry….

      Thank you so much for commenting, Faerie!

      hug,

      aisha

  6. smilingsoul January 5, 2012 at 5:04 pm #

    Having been in that place (and still there) where you are with your Sir, I am genuinely happy for you. Judging by your description of your journey of falling into Him, the two of you fit naturally and perfectly. It is easy to trust and grow within it, too. You are wise and mature with the way you are handling any uncertainties or not letting past experiences influence the progress of this relationship. It only gets better.

    • aisha January 5, 2012 at 9:54 pm #

      Thank you, Smilingsoul,

      I really appreciate your perspective! I’m taking your kind words about how i’m handling things to heart, and am glad it sounds like i’m handling myself well!

      many hugs,

      aisha

  7. caile January 9, 2012 at 10:45 pm #

    I really like this blog because it addresses something that I hope to find one day. That experience of being cared for in a way that is in my best interest, feeling like someone really cares about my issues. I will always care for the person I am with, look out for them and there best interests..at least what they allow me to do. However I have found it is rare to find someone who will do this for me.

    • aisha January 10, 2012 at 4:27 am #

      Hi, Caile,

      It always makes me smile to see you here!

      Thanks for that feedback ~ i so totally know what you mean. And because I know you a little bit, I believe that you’ll find that person for yourself ~ that he’s out there.

      Laughing… i start wanting to give you all kinds of advice, and that’s silly. You’re finding your way just fine, and i’ll just keep my fingers crossed for you. But know that i’m mentally cheering you on.

      aisha

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