Spanking: A Fantasy {Part II}

8 Jan

Left in the corner with my pants down around my knees, my back to the room so i can’t see what He’s doing, head to the wall and ass out, i find it difficult to think at first.

i’ve never had corner time before.  Not as a child, and not in a kink sense.  

i can’t believe this is really happening, in a way.  It seems kind of cliché.  How many tines have i read about this in other people’s blogs?  

And now, here i am,  a 55 year old woman, and i’m standing in the corner to think about what i’ve done wrong.  Because i had an orgasm without permission.  Really?

i try to rise above it all.  After all, there are lots more important things to think about.  An unapproved orgasm is hardly a big deal in the greater scheme of the universe.

Right?

But then why am i standing here, pants around my knees, head to the wall, ass out? 

i shift my weight a little, leaning into the wall more.  Yes, it was a rule.  i agreed to it.  Why did i agree to it?

i picture His face. His hands.  Consider the way i feel when i have pleased Him.

i sigh.

i agreed to it because i wanted to deepen the connection between us.  Because i wanted to belong to Him.  i wanted to feel His dominance more strongly.

As those feelings rush back over me, i feel a wave of deep remorse.

i’ve messed up.  Really.  Seriously.  

i couldn’t even follow the simplest rule. 

Good grief, what’s wrong with me?  Did i think it didn’t matter?  

How could i be so stupid?  He’ll think i’m not taking this seriously.  He’ll think i’m just “testing him,” and acting out for attention.  He won’t even want me anymore.  

All that rushes through me, and i’m trying to find some balance, cause i know that maybe this is too extreme, that i’m too upset, i feel like i might cry.  What if i’ve ruined everything?

i want to turn around and say something to Him, want to tell Him i’m sorry, that i’ll never do it again.  i almost do ~ i’m just about to lift my head and turn around ~

~ when i remember ~ He told me to stay here.  

So i stop.  i don’t move.   

Ok.  

i may have messed up before, but i can obey Him now.  

i turn my attention to where i am now.  Focus on my body, the feeling of being in the corner.  The physical sensations.  The nakedness of my bottom.  The slight discomfort of the position.

The fact that my pussy is wet, i can feel my juices on my inner thigh.

Exposed, vulnerable, and controlled.  

i long for His touch, i want Him to come get me and spank me.  i want the punishment to be over.

And i re-focus on where i am now.  Waiting.  Remorseful for disobeying.  Aware of the damage to our relationship.

Was i testing the limits on purpose?  i don’t think so, but maybe.

Cause really, if i have rules and i never break any of them, than how would i know if He was serious about them?  

But i didn’t do this on purpose.  Didn’t know it would feel like this. 

i feel tears building up, and bite my lip hard, blink them away.  i am not going to cry.

My mind is clear now.  i agreed to the rules because they structure our relationship.   i want to belong to Him ~ i want that so much ~ and this is a way to remind me that i do.

And i ignored that.  Blew it off like it didn’t matter.

Sigh…

It’s ok ~ well, it will be ok.  i’ll stand here for as long as He wants.  i’ll accept my spanking, no mater how hard it is. And anything else He wants, i’ll be glad to do it.

This is what i want.

i don’t know how much longer He leaves me there.  i have moved into that space in my mind where there is more sensation than words, more awareness than thought.

So i don’t hear Him come up behind me until He’s there, and i startle a little.  

He puts a hand on my shoulder, fists a hand in my hair, lifting my head.  

“Have you had enough time to think, my pet?” He asks.  “Are you ready to explain to me why we have rules? And why it’s important to follow them?”

8 Responses to “Spanking: A Fantasy {Part II}”

  1. appy January 8, 2012 at 8:51 am #

    Beautifully written. Thank you.

    appy

  2. Andi January 8, 2012 at 9:54 am #

    These fantasies of your always pull me along with them. That confusing moment feeling like you have screwed EVERYTHING up. Yuck. I hate it.

    • aisha January 8, 2012 at 12:21 pm #

      @andi

      Yes. That is the worst.

      But you know I’m glad my fantasies pull you in!

      Aisha

      Sent from my iPhone

  3. Bill January 8, 2012 at 10:22 am #

    To misquote Arte Johnson, “Very interesting, and intriguing!

    • aisha January 8, 2012 at 2:04 pm #

      Thanks,Bill ~ that’s a great misquote! laughing… aisha

  4. vanillamom January 9, 2012 at 7:54 am #

    *shivers*—what else can i say other than “perfect”? coz this is exactly how it is…

    nilla

    ps..sorry to be late commenting…was a bit…busy…yesterday…*wicked grin*

    • aisha January 9, 2012 at 7:59 am #

      Hey, Nilla,

      Glad you’re commenting late, since it means you’ve been with Himself! Can’t wait to hear about that!

      hugs,

      aisha

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Spanking fantasys | Cellcon - January 22, 2012

    […] Spanking: A Fantasy {Part II} « aisha […]

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