When Sir is Busy…

28 Jan

When Sir is busy with work, which He has been this week, and probably will be until April, i’m not sure how to be helpful.

He doesn’t ignore me, but of course His communication is briefer.   i’m ok with that.   And really, we are just now starting His busy season, so it’s hard to say what it’ll look like or how we’ll deal with it.

We had tentatively talked about doing something Thursday night, but He had to cancel because He was working late.  i’m hoping we’re still on for tonight ~ He has to work during the day, so there’s the possibility that He could have to work too late for us to see each other.  

i don’t know yet how we’ll handle this.  i like to think we’ll ease through it, that i’ll be understanding and supportive, that He’ll be present as much as He can, and it will all be smooth…  but i don’t know.

i know, there’s no point in borrowing trouble, and i’m not trying to anticipate problems.  Just wondering.

i think the hardest thing for me, in terms of submission, is recognizing that sometimes, less is more.    That sometimes,not being there, not offering, not serving, is what He may need.

i remember a scene in Slave Girl of Gor, which i read a hundred years ago.  It’s after her first day as a slave, and after she’s been thoroughly used sexually.  That night, they tie her in her tent.

She thinks at first that it’s to keep her from escaping, although there would be nowhere for her to go if she ran away.  Later, when she wakes up hot and horny and longing to be used again, she realizes she’s tied to her tent to keep her from waking up a Master, begging to be used again.

i think i know how she feels, although it is not just the sexuality part that calls me.  i want to offer, i want to be used in some way, i don’t really care how.

Little Monkey did an amazingly beautiful post here today.  If you haven’t read it yet, don’t miss it.  She totally captures the joy of being there, open, ready, and waiting.

That would be easier to do, i think, if i were actually there at His feet.  

i don’t think He’ll let me do that.  My best prediction of what  He’ll want when He’s busy is for me to entertain myself in my own life.

And i can do that.

But i don’t actually know what He will want.  i’m preparing for what i think of as “the worst” without knowing what He’ll want.  i need to remember that.

So i’ll wait ~ not naked, not at His feet, but with devotion that will let me respond to what He needs, not to what i want.  And in the meantime, i’ll go do my usual Saturday thing…

32 Responses to “When Sir is Busy…”

  1. Mick January 28, 2012 at 6:09 am #

    I can see how that my be a little distracting if he had work to do.
    Mick

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 7:25 am #

      @Mick,

      Laughing out loud, yes, i suppose it might be. I love your common sense.

      aisha

  2. squirrel January 28, 2012 at 6:10 am #

    What you just described is the type of submission I think I’m least fond of, least good at, least willing to do happily. But you’re right, it *is* submission and devotion and sometimes necessary. I completely sympathize with always wanting Master’s attention but trying to know when not to demand it. I’m sure the two of you will ease into how to handle busy times in your particular dynamic. I loved your Gor analogy. I’ve just got to read those books one of these days. I feel so left out! 🙂

    love, squirrrel

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 7:32 am #

      @Squirrel,

      Yep, me too ~ it’s so the opposite from the “ask me for anything, I’ll do anything for you” feeling, isn’t it???

      The Gor books are very intense. I’d start with one to see if you like it. I ran across them back in my vanilla life days and was deeply ashamed by how arousing they were. Don’t know what it would be like to read them now…

      If you do read one, let me know what you think!

      aisha

  3. www.SpiritualBDSM.com (@SpiritualBDSM) January 28, 2012 at 6:21 am #

    your attitude is admirable . . . 🙂

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 7:32 am #

      Thanks! 🙂

      aisha

  4. abby January 28, 2012 at 8:04 am #

    That is the hardest part of submission for me, the waiting, the patience, the trusting when He is too busy to be here. I know realize those times are when I have to reach inside and let my submission shine. Sounds like you are preparing yourself. abby

    • Alujna January 28, 2012 at 11:36 am #

      I agree with abby. Him being away and busy is the hardest part. Some communication is better than none. I know it’s ridiculously hard not to get your hopes up when you’re planning a meet. But just take it a day at a time.

      Hugs,
      Alujna

      • aisha January 29, 2012 at 7:35 am #

        @Alujna,

        Yep, it is really hard, and particularly when one gets disappointed. I’m gonna work on the one day at a time thing, we’ll see how it goes!

        Thanks for commenting – and hugs

        aisha

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 7:34 am #

      @Abby,

      Yeah, I think it’s one of the harder things for all of us. It seems like we subs crave contact and affection… i’m trying to be prepared. We’ll see…

      aisha

  5. vanillamom January 28, 2012 at 8:05 am #

    oh yes…this certainly resonates for me.

    i am right there in that place…M does not want me waiting naked at his feet, but off and doing my life things.

    Coz, i think i would do just that if He didn’t want it otherwise.

    because…selfishly? it is a way for me to let go of all my responsibilities…and just “be”…be available, be useable, be His…

    but He wants me to “be” me…and sometimes? Its harder than it looks to do that. *smile*

    love this post. Off to read lm…

    nilla

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 7:52 am #

      Hi, Nilla,

      Gosh, you are so right. There is that whole, “if I could be a slave at his feet, I wouldn’t have to run my life.” Yes.

      Really, it’s a little bit like lil was talking about, about the extremes. So it’s easier to imagine offering extremes than to offer doing the daily life thing in a submissive way. Yeah.

      hugs,

      aisha

  6. Striving for Peace January 28, 2012 at 8:29 am #

    it’s tough sometimes. Particularly when our busy times and their busy times don’t intersect.

    but

    I think all you can do it be patient.

    because as much as you hate not being able to serve — he hates disappointing you (lol – ok – obviously I’m talking about M and I — but I imagine all good men are the same)

    hugs
    and smiles

    sfp

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 7:53 am #

      @Sfp,

      You’re so right. And ~ this is the coolest part ~ not only does He hate disappointing me, He’s just as disappointed himself to not get to spend time with me!!!

      Yep.

      I think your M and my X, and yes, probably all good men, have a lot in common.

      hugs,

      aisha

  7. Jz January 28, 2012 at 8:57 am #

    Well, I simply cannot relate to having to sit back and be patient with a busy guy…

    *wham!*

    oh, sorry… my nose just shot out and dented my laptop screen…
    ;-p

    Seriously, I get this. I’ve often said that the universe sent me BG to teach me patience.
    Take it as an opportunity to learn… You may surprise yourself. 🙂

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 8:00 am #

      @Jz,

      You are too funny…. lol.

      Yes, patience is a real virtue. In some ways i have a lot already, although i’m discovering that some of my patience is more self-control – so i look patient while i’m waiting but on the inside, i’m not quite there.

      It is all an opportunity to learn, isn’t it???

      hugs,

      aisha

  8. greengirl January 28, 2012 at 9:48 am #

    Even in the same house – in theory the same shared life – waiting has to happen – even when we are talking right to each other, sleeping in the same bed. and sometimes i mange it – sometimes i suck at it, sometimes i manage to make it all blow up. Each time through though – i learn more about what works, how he needs me to be, and that he will be back, and that he truly appreciates, needs, that kind of submission.

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 8:08 am #

      @Gg,

      Yes, this is what i imagine happening with me and Sir. That process of growing together as i learn what He needs from me, and He learns how to communicate what He needs and to help me get what i need, all at the same time. It’s gotta be tough, but that’s my goal.

      Thanks.

      aisha

  9. ddanddswife January 28, 2012 at 10:43 am #

    I totally empathize with you. DH works in the shipping industry, so between Thanksgiving and Christmas he works all the time and is physically tired. I have found that servicing him in other ways and taking care of him can be just as fulfilling as servicing him sexually. I love to take care of him. And when all is said and done with his peak time for work, I get my reward!

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 8:14 am #

      @Ddanddswife,

      Hi! Love your icon!

      i think you’re right ~ there are lots of ways to provide service besides sex, and lots of them that i enjoy. 🙂 Giving a back rub and bringing food are two of them.

      Nice to know that other people manage these times well!

      hug,

      aisha

  10. mouse January 28, 2012 at 12:22 pm #

    oooooooh mouse can totally relate to this…yes, we do get to see him at night…but when he’s super busy…he’s not always present….yanno?

    We just have to take things as they go.

    Hugs,
    mouse

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 8:15 am #

      @Mouse,

      Yeah, that’s about the truth, isn’t it? All we can do is take things as they go… and learn to flow with it all.

      hugs,

      aisha

  11. MissNaida January 28, 2012 at 2:15 pm #

    I love your blog and you aisha. You make it seems so effortless, yet you share the same feelings as most others. It’s good to wonder 🙂

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 8:16 am #

      Dear MissNaida,

      I love you too! 🙂

      Thanks for the comment, and for being you!!

      aisha

      • MissNaida January 29, 2012 at 1:41 pm #

        and you didn’t even mention all the spelling mistakes haha. Ahh, I sure hope you had a good night 😀

      • aisha January 29, 2012 at 1:57 pm #

        Naida,

        Tell me you love me, and spelling skill becomes totally unimportant and irrelevant.

        Although ~~

        Now that I think about it ~~~

        That might have been where I got off the right track with relationships a few times before…. lol

        aisha

  12. smilingsoul January 28, 2012 at 5:08 pm #

    And now the real work begins. Remember a comment I made a while back about one of things a slave/sub does most is wait. One of the hardest attributes to achieve is patience, but one that is necessary and useful in so many ways. We are here for you.

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 8:18 am #

      @Smilingsoul,

      Yes. You’re so right. Those were/are wise words. Submission would be easy if it were all passion and flinging oneself into it. It’s the containing that’s more difficult.

      hugs,

      aisha

  13. faithful January 28, 2012 at 10:02 pm #

    yes, yes, me too! Master being Military means … patience is my middle name.
    (okay I don’t have a middle name, but if I did it would be patience 🙂 )

    Keep yourself busy and be there when/if he needs you. He will respect you for doing that and it will also give him the much needed time to get his work done without worrying about you.

    Not sure about your Sir- but when Master is unavailable due to work commitments.
    Drama is the last thing he needs. (not that you would cause Drama but hopefully you get what I mean).

    Hope you got to see him tonight- Hoping that you not responding to any comments means that you did!

    ~faithful

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 8:22 am #

      @Faithful,

      LOL – so then your name would be faithful patience… i kinda like that!

      i know you’re right, that drama is the last thing He {or anyone} needs in their life, and ~ right again ~ i pretty much just don’t do drama. i am much more likely to curl into myself and go away quietly, which is also not actually so helpful for either of us.

      And you’re right – usually, if i don’t respond to comments the same night, i’m out and about with Sir. Sadly, not last night. Instead, i fell asleep on the couch shortly after dinner, and didn’t wake up til near morning…

      hugs,

      aisha

  14. Sky January 28, 2012 at 10:30 pm #

    Late to post…waiting can be sooo hard. Even when your Sir tells you ahead of time he will be unavailable, the waiting and WANTIBG to serve can be so difficult.

    I hope you got to spend time together this evening 🙂

    Fondly. Sky

    • aisha January 29, 2012 at 8:23 am #

      Hey, Sky,

      Yep. You’re so right, it’s one of the hardest things, isn’t it?

      No such luck last night, but you know, we’ve got a whole weekend coming up! Happy days ahead…

      hugs

      aisha

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