1 Feb

Thank goodness for carry-out ~ i decided to get Chinese for Sir last night, so i went to this one restaurant i know that’s real good.  But i searched the menu without finding anything that would meet the criteria of my new eating plan.  

So i place his order and walk down the street ~ it’s really a little strip mall ~ to another restaurant and get a piece of grilled whitefish and a side salad.  Walk back and pick up his order, walk back and pick up mine.  Voila!  A lovely, delicious dinner to please both of us!

i drive home, start to unpack the styrofoam boxes.  i know i’ve got plenty of time to set the table and clean up cause He hasn’t texted that He’s on the way yet.  And since He typically runs about half an hour late, i figure i’ve got almost an hour prep time.

Til i hear a car door slam.

“Weird,” i think.   “i hope that’s not somebody dropping by.”

i go to look, and omigosh, it’s Sir ~ twenty minutes earlier than He said He’d be.  Fifty minutes earlier than i expected!

He’s laughing cause He knows i’m shocked speechless.  But delighted.  It’s excellent timing, because you know, my house keeper came yesterday, so there was no tidying up that needed to be done.

Anyhow, that was just a nice surprise, and an opportunity for Him to show me that i should never think He’s completely predictable.

So after we get through eating, we begin to touch.

i feel His skin absorbing my caress like  lotion.  It is an energy exchange and the power flows between us.

i thought i would write this morning about what it felt like, but i have no words today.  i feel Him in my palms still, as if He’s left a trace memory behind.

i feel His caresses lingering on my skin.

There’s research that show how essential touch is to the survival of infants.  i don’t know if there’s research on touch and adults.  There’s that thing they say about hugs – what it is – something about people needing 5 hugs a day to survive?  Which is clearly not true, since many of us manage to get by on much fewer than that.

But there’s something about touch…  i need it.  Crave it.  Revel in it.  The caress of a lover.

Leaves me speechless.

There was no pain last night, and last night that was fine.  Today, i find myself drawn to this quote by Toni Morrison, but decided Facebook is not really the place to post it.  

So i bring it here.  Somehow, it reminds me of lil’s post about doing better with extremes.   

“Pain. I seem to have an affection, a kind of sweettooth for it. Bolts of lightning, little rivulets of thunder. 

And I the eye of the storm.” 
― Toni MorrisonJazz

18 Responses to “Touch”

  1. Striving for Peace February 1, 2012 at 7:33 am #

    Clearly one can survive with significantly less touch

    as I often go days and days without anyone touching me at all!

    but life would be much better
    much richer with regular touch.

    what a lovely blessing for you both
    when both of you have been deprived.

    • aisha February 1, 2012 at 9:57 pm #

      @Sfp –

      Yeah, me too ~ going days without being touched!

      And o yes. It is a blessing now…


  2. vanillamom February 1, 2012 at 7:54 am #

    mmmm, lovely…yes, i *feel* that…

    like how, days later, i can still feel Master’s bearded face between my palms…even now they tingle a bit with the memory there. Skin memory.
    (or in my case, beard memory!)

    I think i save up all my “hug need” for when we are together, and He hugs me until my ribs nearly crack…and i hold on to that memory to carry me through until the next time…

    mmmm….lovely, lovely post, and i LOVE your T. Morrison quote (yeah, def. not a fb quote!!)

    and I, the center of the storm…*smiling*

    • aisha February 1, 2012 at 9:58 pm #


      Ok, but WHY isn’t it a facebook quote? I mean, i agree cause i didn’t post it, but it could have been, couldn’t it? I mean, Toni Morrison said it!! lol

      i’m glad you liked this post ! I kinda didn’t think anyone but me would.



      • vanillamom February 2, 2012 at 8:29 am #

        Why not FB? well, to me it speaks (to me) very graphically about accepting…no…embracing the pain…

        and with the variety of people reading facebook…just against any kind of pain (huge supposition there)…

        it feels way more like a D/s kind of thing.

        and on FB i couldn’t say how much that speaks to me… *grin*…and here? i am free to hold that quote and nod and say..’YES’!

        btw…i think Morrison is saying that embracing the pain is to experience the fullness of being human. I don’t *think* she’s saying she’s a masochist…do you?

      • aisha February 3, 2012 at 5:59 am #

        Yeah, i think you’re probably right about FB, although Anais Nin is pretty explicit about it too, and i think she DOES mean D/s kinds of things.

        No, i don’t think Toni Morrison is into BDSM pain – but for sure, i could be wrong! There are people who would swear that i couldn’t be either.

        Thank for putting all that into words for me!

  3. K February 1, 2012 at 8:00 am #

    aisha, i love this post and if i were more awake I’d probably be able to explain why. But anyway doesn’t matter, speaks for itself.



    • aisha February 1, 2012 at 10:00 pm #


      Cool! Like i told ‘Nilla, i thought this one was kinda just appealing to me. Glad it was shared…



  4. faerie February 1, 2012 at 11:41 am #

    The exchange of energy through touch is an awesome thing. Lovely post.

    • aisha February 1, 2012 at 10:03 pm #


      O, my, yes it really is…



  5. mouse February 1, 2012 at 11:43 am #


    The tender times, the touching and make those other times where pain is involved all the better.


    • aisha February 1, 2012 at 10:04 pm #


      You’re so right. They really do. Without the tender times, it wouldn’t work – not for me anyhow.



  6. Dancing February 1, 2012 at 3:23 pm #

    Sounds like a great evening. I will do my best to give out lots of hugs today.

    • aisha February 1, 2012 at 10:05 pm #


      Smiling… it was a great evening. And i’m glad you’re going to spread some joy today.


  7. Conina February 1, 2012 at 4:18 pm #

    Lovely, lovely, lovely. Thanks for sharing.

    I’ve always been touchy-feely-huggy. Thank goodness my husband responds well to it! He’s European, so it was totally luck that I got a snuggler!

    • aisha February 1, 2012 at 10:08 pm #

      Thanks, Conina! i’m glad you liked it!

      Yeah, i am too. You’re lucky with your husband ~ being married to a non-snuggler is not-so-fun.


  8. jade February 2, 2012 at 11:39 am #

    How well this post made me remember a time where every cell in my body yearned for her touch. Indeed, every cell in the body has a memory and it makes sense that we leave traces of memory on each other. (This totally made sense in my head. Not so much written out).

    i often think how proud i am for you that you did not settle and what rewards have come to you for being brave enough to trust yourself.

    • aisha February 3, 2012 at 5:56 am #

      Yes, it does make sense, even written out. Sometimes those traces of memory are pleasant, sometimes not so much, but either way, they’re there.

      Laughing… and you’re right. You advised me well, and it has been worth it.



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