The Four Agreements (Three)

27 Feb

Smiling Soul says: 

Don’t Make Assumptions
“This one agreement can transform your life.” Communication done right with clarity will avoid many misunderstandings and difficulties in your dynamic.

You should feel free to ask for what you want.  It doesn’t mean you will get it right then, but you may later. (There was more presented in the class, but Smiling Soul was translating into sign language for someone and lost part of this one.)

My take: I think making requests gives your Dom the insight to your desires. Master often asks me if there is anything I need during our time together. I have learned to ask for sexual release when I really need it (especially with orgasm control). He learned when I get horny and in what cycle.

i like to think i do fine with this.  And i do – in the sense that i really work at not assuming that someone else is thinking a particular thing.  i avoid mind-reading fairly well.

Plus, i learned that stupid caveat about “assuming” fairly young.  You know ~ “What do you do when you assume?  You make an ass of “u” and “me.”  

Yeah.  And i hate how often i hear that in my head. 

But just when i’m congratulating myself on not assuming, i notice that pesky “feel free to ask for what you want” clause.

Sheesh.

i’ve talked about my issues with that enough times already.  i’m getting so much better about it, but i still HATE asking.  i guess some things never get easy.

i guess tomorrow i’ll tackle the “Do your best” agreement.  Youall know i have big issues with that too, right?  Apparently, i’m just a big ole bundle of issues.

Yeah.  But i’m not even going there today.  Instead ~~

*******************************

i kneel at His feet.  His hand wraps my hair, holding me tight.

“Ask,” He says.

Feeling confident, half-smiling, i nod toward His cock, well, as best i can nod with His hand in my hair.  More a slight tilting of my head.  

“May i?” i say, eyebrows slightly raised.

“That’s not asking,” He says.  “You’re taking it for granted I’m going to say yes.  I wouldn’t count on that.  If you want it, you’d better ask better than that.”

A wave of humiliation runs through me.  My heart sinks, my stomach drops.  

i look at His cock, out of reach of my mouth, His hand in my hair prevents me from coming any closer.

“Open your mouth.” He says.  He moves my head til i’m closer, but still out of reach.  

With my mouth open, i can almost taste Him, almost, so close, so close, i lean a little ~~

“No,” He says.  “Stay right where you are.”  He shakes my head, just a bit, emphasizing the point.

i am poised, but forbidden.

After a long, long moment, He says, “Ask if you want it.”

“Sir,” i begin, eyes on His cock, “May i please, Sir, taste Your cock?”

“Taste it?” He says.

“Yes, Sir.  Please may i kiss and lick Him?  Please, let me please Him with my mouth.”

“Kiss and lick?” He says.  “I don’t know…”

“And suck,” i say eagerly.  “Kiss and lick and suck.  Take Him deep in my mouth, sucking and licking, and pleasing.  Please, Sir?”

He smiles.  “There.  That’s better.  That’s how you ask.”  

He pauses, just long enough for me to wonder if He will turn me down.    Then ~

“Yes, you may.” He says.

And i do. 

9 Responses to “The Four Agreements (Three)”

  1. Dancing February 27, 2012 at 9:31 am #

    This was a great post. I very recently got over a communication “hitch” with my new Dom. I was reluctant to explain the way I felt after my first spanking, which was craving and wanting more. I was almost embarrassed by it but I finally (after a week of being grumpy about it) just told him. I definately got what I needed after that. I am still sore today. Thank you so much for going through the agreements, I am really enjoying them.

    • aisha February 28, 2012 at 6:42 am #

      Thank you, Dancing. I’m glad you’re enjoying the series ~ i appreciate your comments!

      i know just what you mean about not wanting to share that craving for more – funny how hard it is at first. Glad you worked it through!

      aisha

  2. vanillamom February 27, 2012 at 10:12 am #

    mmmmmmm,

    i like this.

    i’m a day behind (eons behind, who knows, who cares…*giggle*)

    this is perfect..from hands in hair to humiliating asking…getting it “right” in asking…yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

    nommy, aisha. Just plain good. layers and layers of good. i’m going to come back to this later when i’m less floaty.

    nilla

    • aisha February 28, 2012 at 6:45 am #

      Dear ‘Nilla,

      i hope you were holding on to something most of the day yesterday ~ this comment totally sounds like you might float away otherwise.

      i’m glad you liked the post ~ but {giggling} really, i think you might have liked anything at that point. Hope you’re still floating today! It’s good to hear you sound so ~ um, light.

      hugs,

      aisha

  3. Conina February 27, 2012 at 12:50 pm #

    This makes my heart pound.

    • aisha February 28, 2012 at 6:46 am #

      @Conina,

      Hmmm… In a good way? Or in a “i think i’m going to have a panic attack” way?

      Hopefully, in a good way.

      hugs,

      aisha

  4. smilingsoul February 27, 2012 at 5:54 pm #

    I have to add another thought to this post (which my part was done terribly btw). The skill of communicating clearly what you want or need could go a long way for clear understanding between you and your Dom or Master. The times I have put some time and thought on a need or request has helped to weed out some of the “junk” surrounding it. I often examine the “why” behind my request.

    A short time ago, I was feeling disconnected from Master and had some intense fantasies on how he could control me. I was out of sorts, and was just short of becoming snarky or bratty (which He hates). Once i was alone and really thought about it, I realized He was mentally distracted, and His focus was not on our dynamic. It was then I remembered that He was struggling and dealing with finding a solution to a problem at work. This particular problem went on for days before I was feeling that state of disconnect and I knew about it. Of course, He needed to focus on work and the best thing I could do was to be patient and supportive. Immediately my need for attention and control disappeared. I then went to Him, and instead of making a request, I told Him what I thought and what I could do about it. He was so pleased and immediately relaxed. He realized He could put my needs on hold, and focus on the work problem.

    Clarity in this case didn’t lead to a request, but the result was productive. I was able to serve Him in the best way possible and in the way He needed it. I also got some insight to the way my mind works. The control fantasies I have are probably from feeling disconnected from Him. The next time I have those crazy fantasies on being controlled, I’ll be sure to look at what may be happening outside the relationship and the effects on Him or me.

    Sorry for the blog post within your comment section, aisha. The above scenario was very recent and I see how this class was helpful in making my dynamic more meaningful.

    One more note. Regarding orgasm control, I have found it to be a practice that has a very bonding effect on me to Y. Our time together is more enriching because of it. But that is for another time.

    • aisha February 28, 2012 at 6:56 am #

      @Smilingsoul,

      Your example would make a lovely blog post, and i appreciate you sharing it here. It’s a beautiful example of how submission can lead us out of our “self” and into deeper relationship and deeper service.

      Thank you for sharing your ideas and co-authoring these posts with me!!

      aisha

  5. Fritz March 13, 2013 at 12:32 am #

    I love your blog here, it makes me
    want to find a master just so I can
    beg!

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