14 Mar

Changes are coming for me, maybe not so much in my kinky life, but in my vanilla life for sure.  Changes at work.   Good changes i think.  i don’t know what that will mean for the blog.

i have this feeling that i may not be an every-day-poster forever.  i don’t know.  You know, i have this vanilla book i need to be working on… but when my work situation changes, i might have time to do it all.  i don’t know.  

It’s funny how i got locked into the whole idea of posting every single day.  ‘Nilla inspired me, way back in the day when i was new to the blogosphere, and i haven’t missed a day in practically forever.   

Sigh…  well, i’m still posting today, even if it’s kinda boring,  so there’s no need for me to worry about it.  

When i think about not posting every day, it feels like i’ll be losing a piece of who i am.  i can no longer imagine starting my day any other way.

On the other hand, there’s a quote – and of course i can’t find it this morning, something about being willing to give up part of who you are for the chance to be the person you can become, or some such…

If i had put this much energy into my book for the last two years, i would have more than finished it.  But ~

if i had not put this much energy into the aisha blog, i wouldn’t have the confidence i need, and maybe not the wisdom either, to finish the damn book.  So there.

But.  i’ve been thinking about that this morning.  Some of the things i write about here, i need to move into my vanilla life.  i think maybe some of the energy that i put here needs to move.

Big sigh.

But maybe not.  And not today.  No changes today.

i’m coming up on another year anniversary for the blog, and getting real close to 100,000 hits.  That’s pretty exciting.  i never, ever thought that would happen ~ or i thought if it did happen, it would take a lifetime to get to this point.

In the past week, i’ve had hits from 33 countries, including Russia, Korea, and the Czech Republic.  How cool is that?  i know, youall do too, it’s just kind of amazing to me that i do.

It’s still March ~ Q & A month ~ so if you have questions for me, call ’em out.  No need to raise your hand, just speak up.  i know, my last answers got a little long and intense, but it doesn’t have to be like that.  {laughing}  You can just ask me what my favorite color is.

Good grief, i sound a little whiny, don’t i?  Ugh.  i hate that.   And really, i’m not upset or sad or anything.  Just contemplating changes…

“Your hand opens and closes, opens and closes. If it were always a fist or always stretched open, you would be paralysed. Your deepest presence is in every small contracting and expanding, the two as beautifully balanced and coordinated as birds’ wings.” 
― RumiEssential Rumi

17 Responses to “Changes…”

  1. Striving for Peace March 14, 2012 at 7:33 am #

    It is difficult isn’t it
    that to grasp something else
    we sometimes have to put down
    something in our hands

    You expressed something today
    that I am also struggling with

    the love of my current life
    and the risk of change

    no matter how lovely the change may be
    is still

    and yet –sometimes — what we are holding on to
    is just a tool we needed on our journey
    not the destination.

    hugs sis


  2. heather1 March 14, 2012 at 7:44 am #

    Okay, so what’s your favorite color? favorite flower? favorite cookie?

    Take a deep breathe,

    • aisha March 15, 2012 at 7:23 am #

      Thanks Heather!

      i appreciate the questions – and the advice!



  3. vanillamom March 14, 2012 at 8:21 am #

    When you move to less posting, you will be missed, of course. You’re part of my morning, to be sure. First cup of tea and reading you.

    But your reasons for blogging are different from mine. Mine is the only way to connect my kink to a wider community. You have a much wider “real-time” connection,and really, that’s pretty balanced, you know?

    And and…i have lots to say. But since I’m on “quiet time”…i’ll leave off. Coz I would never want you to feel badly about making changes…change is good. Really good. And it’s an important part of growth, isn’t it? To be open to creating change, and to living it.

    And you really need to finish your book. For real.

    Hugs and much love,

    the silent nilla

    • aisha March 15, 2012 at 7:24 am #

      Thanks, ‘Nilla,

      And really ~ you on “quiet time” is pretty darn hard to imagine. Hope you’re feeling all better today and back to chattering.

      i do appreciate the support For real.



  4. faerie March 14, 2012 at 8:53 am #

    Change can be a good thing( she says while screaming in her head, DON’T GO)! I hope no matter what you decide it will be good for you.

    • aisha March 15, 2012 at 7:24 am #

      Dear faerie,

      You make me laugh ~ sweet. Thank you.


  5. mouse March 14, 2012 at 10:52 am #

    ooooh aisha,

    You do what you need to do. Of course you’ll be missed, mouse always looks for your posts…Always looks for you.

    Change happens. We’ll adapt…

    But you won’t be forgotten…And when you do post, we’ll read.


    • aisha March 15, 2012 at 7:25 am #

      Dear Mouse,

      Thank you. That means a lot to me.



  6. jade March 14, 2012 at 1:42 pm #

    You are a part of my day too. Often a part of my morning because you make me think and inspire me. i don’t think it has to be an “either/or” situation. i know i lost a piece of being in touch with myself when i quit writing. This is a safe place for you, no? Seems like it would be a good thing to have a safe place to land while working on the book, etc. But maybe not? There are only 24 hours in a day. Maybe you need to think about other things that can not be done daily to give you more time to write? (Shoot, i’d come do your laundry if we lived closer to free up time for you to blog ). Yeah. Give up laundry. Blog instead.

    Answer any…or none…:)
    When is the last time you were surprised (in a good way)?
    Who taught you the most about being healthy and setting boundaries?
    What is your favorite thing about each of your children?
    Do you think your Sir will make a good grandparent? do you want that?
    What has been the best day of you r life?

    • aisha March 15, 2012 at 7:33 am #

      Dear Jade,

      i’m not going anywhere, i’ll still be blogging. You’re right, it is a part of me, and this is a safe place, and that’s all good. You don’t even have to come do my laundry {although i sure appreciate the thought!}

      And i love the questions! Will work my way through them. Thank you.



  7. Conina March 14, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

    I tend you read you in the afternoon, when I have time for thinking deep thoughts.

    But whether it’s every day or two or three times a week, I’ll still read.

    We do what we must.

    • aisha March 15, 2012 at 7:34 am #

      Thank you, Conina,

      i really appreciate the perspective and the support.



  8. greengirl March 14, 2012 at 7:46 pm #

    I don’t often seem to be able to find the perfect balance of all the pieces of my life – so i’ve got no wisdom – except that I do know there is such a thing, there must be, and it’s important. I love reading what you write – you open up views and ways of seeing things for me and i appreciate that. But you have to find your balance. And i hope it continues to be an amazing journey for you.

    • aisha March 15, 2012 at 7:38 am #

      Dear Greengirl,

      i’m pretty sure there isn’t any perfect balance and you’ve got wisdom to spare, but that’s just my perspective. i appreciate the feedback, that really makes me feel good, and the support for my quest for balance! i’m glad you’re part of my journey…



  9. Mick March 14, 2012 at 10:42 pm #

    the burden of the daily post is hard to keep up somedays…. a little change of pace can be good. find a guest correspondent!


    • aisha March 15, 2012 at 7:40 am #

      Now, Mick, THAT’S a brilliant idea! {looks around} Who can i get??? O, wait i know ~~

      DONNA? DONNN-NAAAA ~ where is that woman when you need her?



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