Lingering with the Littles

27 Mar

i was a  little overwhelmed last night.  It’s funny, when i was thinking about it this morning, it seems like most of the things that felt overwhelming were actually positive.  

That makes no sense at all.  But it’s true.

Anyhow, i went to the grocery after work and was just all out of sorts and almost on the verge of tears.  When i got home, i emailed Sir X about how i was feeling, and started eating dinner.  He’s been working so much, i didn’t even know if He’d check email last night or not.  

But i wasn’t halfway through with my sushi (which i bought ready-made at the grocery, with brown rice, cause it’s healthier) when He texted me.  And a few texts later he says: “I’m coming for a visit.  ETA in 30 minutes.”

i was so glad, my heart just sighed with relief. 

He said partly He came because He wanted to see what i was like when i’m like that.  i didn’t care why He came over, i was just glad He did.

We talked, and He held me, and stroked and petted me, o, and there might have been some serious nipple pinching too, which was more than all right with me.  

Before He left, i asked Him to tuck me in bed, and He did, pulling the sheet and the quilt up over me, so i was all safe and cozy in my bed.  He kissed me one last time, and i curled up on my side and sighed happily.

And i thought about Littles.

i was born old, i think i have an old soul, and i couldn’t wait to be grown-up.  i don’t remember getting tucked in, although i would bet my mother did it, at least up to some age.  

When i get babied, taken care of like i did last night, not just getting tucked in, but feeling like i can depend on someone else ~ when that happens it touches some part of me that i usually keep tucked away.  It opens me.

i don’t think that “makes me a Little,” but it adds an element of vulnerability and reliance on another that {for me} feels child-like.  It’s a deeply touching experience.  And that helps me open my mind to the possibility that there’s a Little aspect lurking inside me.

Probably not eager to Build-a-Bear, but maybe wanting to go to the zoo.

The comments on yesterday’s post are so interesting ~ and amazingly beautiful.  i can’t tell you how much i appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experience with me.  i’m planning to take my time answering each one. 

i wonder if there are other people who are still pondering this ~ as i am.  So i’ll linger on this topic, at least for today, and i invite you again to voice your thoughts…  

How do you see all this?  Do you identify as a Little?   If not, is there an aspect of “Little” that you recognize in yourself?

12 Responses to “Lingering with the Littles”

  1. vanillamom March 27, 2012 at 9:01 am #

    I overslept yesterday, and had only moments to read your blog before i had to delve into “life stuff”….

    I’ve gone back and re-read your post, and all the comments. And …wow.

    This is a part of TTWD that I had no idea existed. I mean, I know there is a “daddy” and “age-play” component for some, but didn’t realize it was a sub-culture of a sub-culture!

    I think it is fascinating.

    M will call me little girl when he wants to drive home a point (and it does make me all squishy and soft and obedient)

    I guess I’m normally so giddy and giggly that it’s not a “dynamic” for us…it’s just integral to who I am.

    And I love Build a Bear…just took my dau to get hers on her 5th birthday…and i wanted one so so so bad!

    anyway..I think what this lifestyle (the whole of what goes on under the blanket of BDSM) gives to people who live it….it’s amazing, isn’t it? A “subculture” that aids in the healing process, opens up a wealth of play and sensations, and allows people to be who they are.

    whodathunk?

    nilla

    • aisha March 29, 2012 at 5:50 am #

      Hey, ‘Nilla

      It is amazing, and i love it too.

      And you.

      hugs,

      aisha

  2. maraudersisabel March 27, 2012 at 9:49 am #

    Hi! I identify as property and not a little, but I’m the first to admit that I have a strong streak of little running through me. I call my Owner “Daddy” (in public even) and I have a truely ginormous collection of sock monkeys.

    While I can stay in what I call “little space” for days; if I’m being honest, for weeks if I’m sick or upset….I don’t live in that space all the time. I can go months being just a regular adult, so I don’t identify as a little.

    • aisha March 29, 2012 at 5:53 am #

      Hi, Maradersisabel ~

      Thanks for reading, and for taking the time to comment!!

      Interesting that for you it’s not something that’s a steady underlying presence, or always expressed in some way, but something that comes and goes. Another good example of the infinite variety of people…

      Thank you again for sharing your thoughts here!

      aisha

  3. Amaia March 27, 2012 at 1:17 pm #

    I have found that there are some people that identify as a little first.. and then have “s” type tendencies.

    The reverse is also true. There are people that are a slave/submissive first.. but, inside they do have little tendencies.
    There little comes out when it is needed.. when they feel the need for the extra security, when they are feeling more vulnerable, when they are feeling a bit silly, when they just need to let go and be safe in the arms of the one they love.

    I believe that there are three distinct types of little’s.. and that we may move throughout them as we grow and learn about ourselves. You may find yourself in all three.. or one being stronger than another.. but, If I may share it with you..

    1. Role Play Lil: These lil’s are brought out in the atmosphere of role play. In the bedroom, (Teacher, student…B/l, etc.…) it can manifest in a sexual encounter. A themed party where one dresses and acts like a school girl, or even an innocent bed time story ritual are other areas that RP can bring out a lil. The B/l dynamic is brought out by the RP, and often does not carry over to real life. Often times the RP will incorporate negations or pre planning before the scene, (either a “script” or a pre discussed fantasy) and has an obvious beginning and ending.

    2. Physical Lil: This lil is often brought out because of the physical items in their presence. Examples of this can be diaper play, bottles, pacifiers, stuffed animals, blanket or other items like that. Adult baby clothes, play pens and special rooms made for the lil are other physical items that can help the lil come out. These lil’s tend to be in their lil space while participating in the activity, and their responses and emotions are relating to the activity they are in.

    3. Emotional Lil: This lil is brought out by their emotional state. Fear, vulnerability, sadness, happiness, excitement, etc.. Maybe it is being around other little’s and having fun and being silly or being sad and wanting their Daddie/Mommie to hold them and protect them. Sometimes their emotions can dictate their responses to situations, having them seem to “not be acting their age” to others. Emotions can be sometimes extreme, (silliness turns to bratiness or sadness turning to anger) but, when made to feel safe and secure these emotions often can be leveled and controlled.

    For me, I am completely an emotional little… But, I do love my Build A Bear.. and enjoy being naughty with Daddy as well.. while the two latter ones are fun in the moment.. the emotions that carry through are the foundation for my little side

    • aisha March 29, 2012 at 5:57 am #

      Dear Amaia,

      Thank you again for sharing your ideas here! i know this is relatively new territory for me, so it’s particularly interesting. It sounds like you’ve found a type of play, and a relationship, that really lets you express who you are. How cool!

      ‘Cause that’s really the point of all this, isn’t’ it? To be more genuinely, more completely who we are.

      hugs,

      aisha

  4. abby March 27, 2012 at 3:09 pm #

    Very interesting posts and remarks. I never knew that “littles” existed. I must say…Master has told me….inside every woman is a little girl who wants to be takedn care of and tucuked into bed. There are times when that is just what i do need. abby

    • aisha March 29, 2012 at 5:59 am #

      Hey, Abby,

      Yes, me too for sure! i do love being tucked in.

      i’m glad you’re finding this interesting. i imagined there were lots of people who didn’t realize this was out there.

      hugs,

      aisha

  5. smilingsoul March 27, 2012 at 5:33 pm #

    Interesting topic. I have really enjoyed everyone’s comments. I am glad to hear from other littles and get their prospective on this fascinating topic. The Daddy/little girl aspect of our relationship has been a recent topic of discussion between Master and I.

    Since establishing our M/s dynamic almost a year ago, Master and I have discovered aspects of our relationship never noticed before. Although always there in the back round, I have come to discover Master has a very strong “Daddy vibe” to him. I have a very close friend in the community that has three littles. She often tells me her littles want to climb onto Master’s lap, because they respond to His Daddy vibe. She says He makes her littles feel safe.

    As His slave, I tend to respond to Him as His moods dictate. When He is giving off His Daddy vibe, I tend to be His little girl. I don’t feel like a little girl as in a “little”, but He says I get small and my voice will change to that of a little girl. When this form of our dynamic is present, one will often find me wrapped up in His arms, feeling very safe and protected. I can feel the energy the Daddy in Master will give me in those moments. Master likes relating to me this way, and enjoys it when I become His little girl. The way we relate to each other in this form has given me lots to think about and ponder. Thank you for everyone’s comments.

    • aisha March 29, 2012 at 6:01 am #

      Hi, Smilingsoul,

      i’m so glad to hear from you ~ i was wondering if you were ok. It’s good to see you here.

      i love the image of you wrapped in your Master’s arms. It sounds so loving, warm, and secure. And interesting that you’ve been exploring this aspect of your relationship.

      Thanks for the insight, wise as always…

      hugs,

      aisha

  6. jade March 27, 2012 at 10:13 pm #

    Thinking that letting someone see you out of sorts and being asked to be tucked into bed is very vulnerable. i also think that people do not give enough weight to the fact that there is a lot of strength in being vulnerable. Its easier to tell the world i’m fine, even when i am not.

    Very rare is it that i meet someone and think i could crawl up in their lap (so to speak) or let them tuck me in. i’m mostly an “i’ll do it myself” kind of person. So to be little infront of people tends to take a lot of trust.

    • aisha March 29, 2012 at 6:04 am #

      Dear Jade,

      yes, i agree. It takes courage to say you’re not ok – it takes courage for me to say that i’m not ok. Any kind of vulnerability is such a risk. It’s funny, isn’t’ it, how deep the paradoxes are.

      Thanks for commenting, for sharing your insight here.

      hugs,

      aisha

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