Watching Porn

30 Mar

When He came over Wednesday night, He brought some porn with Him.  Short clips of different things.

After the caning, and after dinner, we watched some.  i don’t have negative feelings about watching porn, although i don’t like everything i see.  

i don’t like extremes.

Spanking clips are good.  A little bondage.  

There was one i liked except she had a ball gag in her mouth and the drool was disgusting.  Really.  i’ve never experienced a ball gag ~ surely it was exaggerated for the movie’s purpose?  i don’t know.  {Shudder…}  i mean, i know you drool when you’re gagged, but surely not like this.  Like you could have taken a bath in this.  It was gross.

Anyhow.

There was one i liked a lot, a kind of amateur one, that involved submission.  It was simple and almost sweet.  i could empathize with the woman and it seemed like something i’d like.  Just a cock worship scene with some gentle dominance.

But it was a little disconcerting, because while i was watching the porn, He was watching me.

So it would get to a good part, or a bad part, or a good bad part, and i’d turn to look at Him.   And He’d already be looking at me.

He said that was why He wanted to watch with me, it was so He could see my reactions, and try to gauge things i might like.  He said even watching me, it’s still hard to tell sometimes.

He says the expression on my face is very similar when i’m responding to something positively and when i’m having a strong negative reaction, that sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.

i thought that was interesting.

When we were tired of watching movie clips, we had our own little scene, which was pretty wonderful.  Then, when i was all stirred up and thinking my relief was in sight, He says,

“I don’t usually do this, but i’m going to leave you in a state of desire tonight.  And i don’t want you to do anything to relieve it, no cumming, tonight.”

i was shocked, because He’s never done that before.

Shocked and turned on.

{Sigh}

And delighted to obey my Sir’s wishes.  Of course.  Good girl that i am…

24 Responses to “Watching Porn”

  1. jade March 30, 2012 at 7:38 am #

    yeah….look here….good girl (laugh)…
    forget all of these psychology and soc classess and what all. What i really *really* need is a class to teach me how to control my face. Yep. i have no face control. That would be a very useful skill to have my face look the same if i was delighted or disgusted.

    You are clearly holding out on me. Now…how’s *that* a good thing? 😛

    jade

    • aisha March 30, 2012 at 7:52 am #

      Dear Jade,

      Brat…. mmmhmm, you.

      Laughing ~ it’s not that my look of delight and look of disgust are the same, it’s more that my reaction is always Omigod. It could be Omg, how does she stand that? Or it could be Omg, that’s hot. Either way the “omg-ness” dominates. {Heh, heh, so to speak.}

      Remember, part of the reason i don’t watch a lot of movies is because i get too caught up in them… so watching porn tends to be intense, i can either got lost in it, or shut down and not feel it at all.

      Weird, huh. i should just stop writing now, instead of babbling on…

      And i’d NEVER hold out on you! 🙂

      hugs

      aisha

  2. sin March 30, 2012 at 8:15 am #

    Aisha I’m sure you are always a good girl. And nice. Cause you always look for the one good thing, to say or to find in people. Or porn too probably.
    -sin

    • aisha March 30, 2012 at 8:23 am #

      Dear Sin,

      Ok,omg, laughing too hard to type, almost ~ but that sounds HORRIBLE!! Kind of all-holier-than… Ugh.

      Still laughing… and really, the thing i was delighted with was the increase in control. Because while you get tons of control, me? not so much. And i do love it.

      And drooling gag girl was gross. So there. And i don’t know if my face showed it, but i said it. Every time they showed another waterfall of drool covering her body. He finally moved to a different clip.

      Still giggling… i do love you, Sin.

      aisha

  3. vanillamom March 30, 2012 at 8:20 am #

    ahhhh so we were both horny and unsatisfied wenches last night eh?

    that just so delighted me, that he wound you up, got you all juiced up…and left you to simmer.

    *really huge smile*

    nilla

    • aisha March 30, 2012 at 8:24 am #

      Dear ‘Nilla,

      Laughing… well, i’m glad i had company, i suppose. Not that it helps me any.

      Big Hug,

      aisha

      • vanillamom March 30, 2012 at 8:31 am #

        I’ve been ball gagged a few times…and the drool…well, there is no way to stop it from leaking out (not sure about the waterfall but some people are “wetter” than others…you know, like you and me just now… *LAUGH*!!)

        and i’ve asked Him about the drool thing…WHY “they” like to mess us up…

        “coz we do” was the only response. sheesh.

        i think its power…we spend time getting all perfect…and they swipe it away a bit at a time and watch us ….by their hand/actions…get all drooly, or cummy or messed up…clothes hair mascara…

        i’m so with you on the drool…but sometimes? He just likes it.

        nilla
        *shudders*

      • aisha March 30, 2012 at 8:35 am #

        Well, that’s fine, whatever, and if Himself were to decide to gag me, i suppose i’d have to deal with it. All i’m saying is that’s one thing i’m not saying anything nice about. Not one nice word.

        So there, Sin.

        laughing…

        aisha

  4. faithful March 30, 2012 at 9:18 am #

    Even your Sir is nice in how he establishes orgasm denial…. “I don’t usually do this.. but”…

    Not sure my Master would ever word things that way 🙂

    and that is why I think your Sir so incredibly perfect for you!

    ~faithful

    • aisha March 30, 2012 at 9:29 am #

      Thanks, Faithful,

      i hadn’t thought of it that way, but yes. He’s also really nice about it when He has my nipple between his thumb and middle finger and He says, “This is going to hurt.” LOL – doesn’t make it hurt any less when He does this evil thing He does that hurts so bad it’s incredible, right?

      He is perfect for me though… {Happy sigh,}

      hugs,

      aisha

  5. Striving for Peace March 30, 2012 at 10:24 am #

    I’m funny about porn
    I don’t like to watch others
    experiencing things I like quite a bit

    I worry that she’s getting hurt

    lol

    it’s like I forget that’s the point

    sfp

    • aisha March 30, 2012 at 3:05 pm #

      Funny… i knew you had some interesting thoughts/feelings around porn, but i love that! i think my feminism gets in the way sometimes when i’m watching. i find myself thinking “Really? This is what we WANT? Really???” even when i know it is for me.

      hugs,

      aisha

  6. Kitty the Submissive Wife March 30, 2012 at 10:46 am #

    I don’t seem to drool through the breathable ball gag, as an FYI.

    Of course, you react the same – it’s your profession. However, I would like to say that I have perfected what we call “the blank stare” over the last decade for my profession. Then the reaction is always the same, while you have time to process. And that’s what I was thinking of, during this post.

    Yay on more control! I always want more too, but it may be in the category of I am afraid to get it.

    • aisha March 30, 2012 at 3:08 pm #

      Omigosh, you’re so right! It is my professional look!! i didn’t even think about that. How funny. And yes, it buys us time to mull it over and doesn’t clue the client in that we’re having a particular reaction.

      And it’s especially funny because in meetings, apparently my thoughts are written on my face. i’ll think i’m just sitting there and someone will say, “What? i can tell you’re not happy about that – what is it???”

      Thanks for the information on the breathable ball gag too – i’ll keep that in mind for sure!

      And yes, we always need to be careful what we ask for… lol.

      hugs,

      aisha

      • jade March 31, 2012 at 7:55 am #

        For Goodness Sake….aisha….that is *exactly* what i was saying. That you had this pro face mask thing going on for you and was holding out the details of how to do that.

        My face? Expressive to the point that three year olds universally love me.

        Not so helpful if i think you are a jerk. (i can refer jerks, right?)

        j

      • aisha March 31, 2012 at 10:11 am #

        i’m sorry, Ms. Jade, i didn’t get it at first. i’m with you now.

        Laughing.. and it comes with experience. Wait til the first time a client tells you something, and you’re horrified, and your face shows it, and she bursts into tears and sobs, “See! Even YOU think i’m a horrible person!!!”

        Mmmmhmmmm.

        You’ll learn to shut down the “That’s horrible” part and just show, “Well, that was a little unexpected,” instead. Laughing…

        And yes, of course you can refer jerks to someone else! Send them to me, i can use the business. lol

        hugs,

        aisha

  7. smilingsoul March 30, 2012 at 1:46 pm #

    I have the extreme opposite problem when it comes to my facial expressions. As you know aisha, I am fluent on American Sign Language and so is Master. Facial expressions are the heart of ASL. The effect of a message is shown “on the face”. Take a sentence “I am going to the store” (not written in ASL btw). The way a Deaf speaker feels about their trip to the store is shown “on the face”. If she is angry, happy or whatever she feels about her trip is conveyed through facial expressions. A very integral part of this language.

    I am afraid I am an open book. ASL is so much apart of me, all my feelings, reactions and emotions can clearly be seen on my face. It doesn’t matter if I am using my voice or my hands to communicate. Master is very good at reading my face. I have long ago given up trying to hide what my face communicates. Keeps me honest, you know. 🙂

    And oh…welcome to orgasm control. It is a bumpy ride, but well worth it for a submissive.

    • aisha March 30, 2012 at 3:10 pm #

      Hi, Smiling Soul,

      Yes, i totally know what you mean about facial expressions and ASL, and i really enjoy watching people speak ASL, i have a number of friends who are fluent, and who use those skills in their jobs. It’s a treat to talk with them, since they often end up signing without even realizing it.

      And, um, thanks for the welcome!!

      hugs,

      aisha

  8. Faerie March 30, 2012 at 4:59 pm #

    aisha, I’m curious, have you ever taped yourself and watched? If so do you have the same reaction as when you watch porn?

    I like porn, but am picky about it, I don’t like the intense stuff either. We have made tapes of ourselves off and on over the years. Musicman’s idea, not mine 🙂 At first it was harder to watch then to do, but not anymore. Now I vacilate between critiquing my performance and being turned on by it.

    • aisha March 31, 2012 at 10:13 am #

      Dear Faerie,

      Noooooo, i’ve never taped myself! Omigoodness.. can’t even imagine.

      Well, on second thought, maybe i can imagine. It might be interesting, huh? Hmmn. i’ll have to think about that. See what Sir thinks… it would certainly be different.

      Thanks!

      aisha

  9. mouse March 30, 2012 at 5:10 pm #

    aisha,

    Anytime mouse has watched anything even close to porn (even bdsm porn) the reaction is always the same…horror, punctuated with lots and lots of blushing and looking away.

    And what’s really weird…she’s done some of those things!

    The not getting to come thing tho…well it makes her crazy…

    Normally his thing is, Omega won’t give mouse an opportunity and leaves it at that…frustrating yes…

    Once in a great while he’d just tell her she wasn’t going to…

    That was always worse…

    Hugs,
    mouse

    • aisha March 31, 2012 at 10:16 am #

      Hi, Mouse,

      Yeah, i hear what you’re saying – it doesn’t matter if we’ve done it or not. i just go into professional mode instead of blushing or looking away. Didn’t even realize it til now.

      Yes, i think knowing ahead of time that i wasn’t going to get to cum would actually turn me on more. Yikes. Laughing… Omega has all kinds of lovely ways to torment, doesn’t he?

      hugs,

      aisha

  10. sin March 30, 2012 at 9:00 pm #

    Dear Aisha the always nice… Sue/Swan’s blog is The Heron Clan http://theheronclan.blogspot.ca/

    • aisha March 31, 2012 at 10:16 am #

      Gosh, Sin, it was awfully NICE of you to come over to give me the link… laughing… thank you for being so darn NICE.

      hugs,

      aisha

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