31 Mar

Yesterday, my dear friend Sin began calling me “nice.”

i protest.  

i’m not “nice.”  Not that nice anyhow!

But she did it again.  She called me “Aisha the always nice…” right here on my own blog!

She and i have had this argument before.   It makes me want to stomp my feet and huff, “i am NOT nice!”


And isn’t that interesting?

Why am i offended by being called nice?

Don’t misunderstand me ~ hear these things clearly:

~  Sin is doing it now cause she knows it’s driving me crazy.

~ It amuses me that it drives me crazy to be called nice.

~ i would say that she’s mean, but she’d like it too much.  i won’t give her the satisfaction.

~  i love Sin anyhow.  {Take that, Sin!  Mwhahahahahahaha}

i find myself wanting to prove that i’m mean too.  i am!  {foot stomp!}

Then i looked up “nice” in the on-line dictionary.  It says:

a : showing fastidious or finicky tastes : particular <too nice a palate to enjoy junk food

b : exacting in requirements or standards : punctilious <a nice code of honor>

3   possessing, marked by, or demanding great or excessive precision and delicacy <nice measurements>

4  obsolete : trivial

a : pleasing, agreeable <a nice time> <a nice person>
b : well-executed <nice shot>
c : appropriate, fitting <not a nice word for a formal occasion>

a : socially acceptable : well-bred <from a nice family>
b : virtuous, respectable <was taught that nice girls don’t do that>

7: polite, kind <that’s nice of you to say>

BUT ~ the Meriam-Webster on-line dictionary provides this as the number 1 definition of nice {even though it’s obsolete}

a : wanton, dissolute
b : coy, reticent

With all those definitions to choose from, i pick “wanton, dissolute.”  Yes, i certainly am.

Thanks, Sin.

If you’re going to leave a comment on this post, here are the rules for today.

1.   If you tell me i’m nice, unless you’re clear that you mean “wanton, dissolute,” you’re going to offend me.  NONE of those other definitions apply to me.

2.  If you say that Sin’s being mean to keep calling me nice, you will make her happy and disappoint me.  

Of course, you don’t have to follow the rules, but it’s helpful to know what they are.  So please choose your words carefully.

Thanks!  🙂

aisha the nice  wanton, dissolute.

25 Responses to “Nice?”

  1. melinda March 31, 2012 at 7:27 am #

    hahaha i know what you mean aisha, i have a bit the same with always being called “sweet”…

    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 10:24 am #

      @Melinda –

      YES!! i’m against being called “sweet” too! i prefer to think of myself as “spicy.” And i’m sure you are too!



  2. Striving for Peace March 31, 2012 at 7:40 am #

    I don’t think I would like being summed up as nice
    but since there’s little danger of that
    I’ll have to imagine.


    I went to go read your argument
    and um

    it was

    yes — um

    it was vicious

    in fact I think you owe Sin an apology


    If i were to name you
    I would name you Aisha the Brave
    because I got to walk in your shoes for a few days
    and think — if there’s only 1 word
    it would be that.


    • sin March 31, 2012 at 7:45 am #

      I like Aisha the Brave.

    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 10:42 am #


      {Hanging head…} i was pretty harsh on Sin, wasn’t i? It must have been painful for her to hear that brutal honesty… AND i’m NOT apologizing!!! no way, no how!!


      Thanks for the kind words though. I think you’re very nice. And i should know! So there.



  3. sin March 31, 2012 at 7:43 am #

    Oh yes you are!

    Sin (the not always nice) meant 5a, 6b, and 7. 🙂

    And yes I’m teasing you now a bit cause that’s fun and we’re friends.

    But I’m not backing away from the thing that I meant in the first place. I do think you find the good in people, and offer it to them, perhaps hoping to make them live up to it? I don’t mean that you are dull or insipid or foolish. You have depth and fascination as well as a desire to make people happy. But you do look for the good in people. So… what label do you want to put on that?

    Aisha the Good?


    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 10:56 am #

      Dear Sin,

      Laughing… ok, no, aisha the good would not be a big improvement…

      And actually, i know what you mean about finding the good. i don’t think i do it in hopes that people will live up to it necessarily, although sometimes they do. i do it for myself, often without thinking about it, sometimes deliberately, for reasons way too lengthy and philosophical to go into here. Perhaps i’m just optimistic?

      Laughing… but i’m glad you don’t think i’m dull or insipid or foolish, which are words i associate with “nice.” Optimist though?

      “I am an optimist, unrepentant and militant. After all, in order not to be a fool, an optimist must know what a sad place the world can be. It is only the pessimist who finds this out anew every day.”
      ~~ Thomas Moore



  4. Jz March 31, 2012 at 8:15 am #

    Oh, how contrary we all are!
    Because no one’s ever called me “nice” in my life.
    And sometimes (every third Wednesday of a leap-year July) I wish they would…
    And that’s all I was going to say.
    But now there are all these ROOOLS as to how I can respond — so I can add that *that* really isn’t nice at all! ;-p


    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 10:58 am #


      i think you are very NICE to have played so nicely by the ROOOLS that i so not-nicely set up…



  5. vanillamom March 31, 2012 at 8:17 am #

    *sidles up to aisha at the bar*
    *pulls out a cigar, lights it, puffs a few times*

    “So Schweetheart… “*puff, puff*

    “Whatsa nice gal like you, doin’ in a place like this?” *waves cigar around the dimly lit bar, taking in the scantily clad servers, while oogling your cleavage, displayed in a tight corset… *puffs cigar, blows out a perfect smoke ring, and raises eyebrow suggestively……

    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 10:59 am #


      {Bursting out laughing…}

      i ❤ you!!


  6. Faerie March 31, 2012 at 10:38 am #

    How about wantonly nice? Does that fit a little better?

    Nice is not a word often associated with me so it’s hard for me to relate here, lol. I get called intimidating alot, and I don’t have a problem with it 🙂

    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 11:34 am #


      YES!! Wantonly nice is much better… lol.

      And interesting that you get called intimidating, i wouldn’t have expected that. Not that i know enough about you to really know how people might see you. Verrrrrry interesting.



  7. Sir J March 31, 2012 at 11:04 am #

    I think it is so NICE that you are wanton and dissolute

    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 11:34 am #

      Dear Sir J,

      Thank you, Sir, nice of you to say so!


  8. pepper March 31, 2012 at 2:04 pm #

    In perusing a listing of antonyms to the word ‘nice’, i must say that i don’t believe any of them apply to you, either. You are neither disagreeable or unpleasant, nor are you disdainful or unfriendly. You can, occasionally, be grouchy, but who isn’t? So i embarked on a Google driven quest for the proper words to describe you. Granted, we aren’t that well acquainted, but i’m prone to extrapolation anyway, so here we go.

    You are welcoming, lovely, unpresumptuous and kind, well-mannered, genial and garrulous. Also gracious, courteous, helpful, comforting, amiable and considerate.

    The best word to describe you by far? Admirable.

    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 11:57 am #

      Hi, Pepper,

      Ok, i have to agree, i’m not “not-nice” either… laughing. But i’m glad i get credit for the occasional grouchiness. i can actually be sharp and acerbic too, but not usually here.

      It was certainly nice of you to take the time to find some adjectives you thought applied to me ~ and you made some delightful choices, thank you very much!

      “Admirable” makes me blush a little, so I will just just say thank you…



  9. mouse March 31, 2012 at 2:37 pm #

    What’s wrong with nice? Oh ya…

    Well, mouse does find you incredibly clever on many levels..

    (smiles, while contemplating hiding)


    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 11:57 am #

      Dear Mouse,

      i ❤ you. Don't hide.



  10. Desire March 31, 2012 at 3:43 pm #

    You are nicely wanton? I’ve missed reading your blog. So nice to be back online and catch up. I hate being called sweet. Drives me crazy.

    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 11:59 am #


      Yes, i think that might be right – “nicely wanton.” Sounds good!

      Welcome back ~ i hate when i can’t get online… and don’t much care for “sweet” either. {shudder…}

      i’m sure you’re neither nice nor sweet. {smiling…}



  11. monkey March 31, 2012 at 9:35 pm #

    You are admirably wanton (extravagantly or excessively luxurious, as a person, manner of living, or style) in your pursuit of sanity in the realm of reproductive rights, and I find you extremely simpatico, personally.


    I’m all about the roolz 🙂

    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

      Dear Monkey,

      Ahhhh.. simpatico, now there’s an adjective i can accept! My mother would have liked to hear that one too!! Thanks.

      Thanks for the description of my pursuits too ~ very nice of you, as i suspect there are less nice ways to phase my interest in reproductive rights!

      No doubt you’re the queen of roolz… That’s, um, pretty much what comes to my mind when i think of you.

      (bursts out laughing…}



      P.S. i casually said something to JM, the amazing analyst, about me being someone who generally followed the rules ~ and he burst out laughing… therapists aren’t’ even supposed to react like that, are they? lol

  12. sin April 1, 2012 at 12:02 am #

    So… I’ve been poking through your blog, the bits of it that I didn’t read while I was away (and I ALWAYS read your blog so I’m a bit shocked at myself – and a bit shocked at you at some of it frankly). But I wanted to know if you had answer the questions you asked me.

    What are your favourite BDSM activity and concept? Let’s pretend I got it in under the wire and it’s still March.


    • aisha April 1, 2012 at 12:07 pm #

      Dear Sin,

      I shocked YOU? Really?? Cool!!! What parts shocked you??? In what way??????

      For you, i’ll gladly turn back the hands of time to March and answer your questions tomorrow.



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