Too Much

9 Apr

The weekend was too short.

There is too much going on in my life.  Some good, some not so good.  Although ~

~ as a preacher i know says ~

“It’s hard to tell your good days from your bad days,

til all your days come in.”

But i’m feeling overwhelmed already and the week is just beginning.

Of course it doesn’t help that my taxes are still not done.  Um, that i haven’t done my taxes yet.  It’s not like i’m just waiting for them to “get done.”  i will need to get my ass in gear and do them.  Within the next week.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

When i feel overwhelmed, i want to escape.  That’s not really a helpful response, since it will just make things worse.  i know this.  

i know that i need to get busy doing things and that as i check them off my to-do list, i’ll feel better.

And i feel frozen sometimes.

i want ~

**********************************

“Come here,” He says.

Reluctantly, i move away from the computer.  “But i’m blogging,” i say, trying not to whine.

He doesn’t respond until i’m there, standing in front of Him, feeling foolish now.  He raises an eyebrow, and i kneel, moving into first position easily.

“What have you gotten done so far?” He asks.

i can’t meet His eyes.  “Um,” i say.  “Not so many things.  Some.”

He sounds patient.  “There were eight things on your list.  Many of them relatively quick and easy.  How many did you get done this weekend?”

“Um,” i’m stalling, “um, i’m not sure, i think, um…i think two of them.  Sir.”

“You think?”

“Well, i know.  Two of them.  i only got two of them done.”

He is standing then, before i know it.  The list in His hand.  “Which ones?” He asks.

i look at the list, feeling overwhelmed and sad.  i name the two i’ve done.

“And the rest have not been completed?” He asks.

i shake my head, “No, Sir.”

“Up,” He says, waiting til i’m on my feet before He fists His hand in my hair.

He moves me quickly down the hall, bends me over the bed.

Pulls my pants down so my ass is exposed.

“Six items left undone.” He says.  “Is that correct?”

“Yes, Sir,” i say, my voice half-muffled by the bedclothes.

“That’s six with the cane,” He says, and His voice is stern but not harsh.  i’m thinking He’s letting me off easy, smiling a little, i can do six… when He adds, “Six to the second power, of course.  What is that?  How much is that?”

And my mind is blank for a moment, i can’t even think what that means, six to the second power?  O, wait, yes i do know, that’s just six times six, and six times six is ~

Before i can say it, He says, “Thirty-six  Plus six for not answering.  How much is that?”

And my brain is scrambling to keep up, thirty-six, yes, plus six, is ~ o, you have to carry, right?  And six plus six is um, twelve, it’s twelve, yes carry one, so that’s um

“Forty-two,” He says.  “And I’ll stop there, your math skills would get you in way too deep if I kept going.  And that’s not what this is about.”

“You asked me for help,” He says.  “Wanted me to help you stay on track with getting things done.  As you count this first set of six, think about the purpose of this punishment.”

And He begins…

*************************************

i have that fantasy, but do i really want that?  Or do i just need to do better myself?  Learn to discipline myself more effectively?  Use my time more wisely?  

i don’t know…

18 Responses to “Too Much”

  1. sin April 9, 2012 at 7:36 am #

    actually, what you really want is for the chore fairies to just come do your tasks. Good luck, I understand the tax fairy is quite busy this time of year.

    I do like the fantasy…

    -sin

    • aisha April 10, 2012 at 9:31 pm #

      Dear Sin,

      Omg, i laugh every time i read this, all i can think is “Busted!” Cause you’re so exactly right. Where is that damn chore fairy???

      Sigh… it is a nice fantasy, isn’t it?

      hugs,

      aisha

  2. heather1 April 9, 2012 at 7:42 am #

    Well, you might get it now that you wrote it down.

    Heather1

    • aisha April 10, 2012 at 9:33 pm #

      Dear Heather,

      Well, maybe, but you know, He doesn’t read my blog, so if it happens, it won’t be because He saw it here. But sometimes when we put out intentions into the universe, they do come to us…

      hugs,

      aisha

  3. vanillamom April 9, 2012 at 7:46 am #

    That’s always the question isn’t it? Do i *really* want “that”…? That level of control? or would i chafe under the restrictions? Would it change the essential “you”? (er, “me”…i’m mixing my pronouns here!)

    Maybe you need a smaller list? LIke…gather all the tax stuff in one place. There is something freeing about checking off things on the to-do list.Then agains…. Do you know the Frog and Toad story about The List? Halfway through, the list blows away. He is adrift. He cannot function. The list is gone. Gone. What can he do?

    He goes to bed.

    *laughing*

    Perhaps not the ideal solution. Spanking sounds waaaay better, actually…!

    However, I have faith in you.

    You will get it done. Maybe not all of it. Not all in a day. But you will. You have time for the taxes. If all else fails, there’s H & R Block, right? *Laughing*

    HUGS, sister of my heart.

    nilla

    • aisha April 10, 2012 at 9:37 pm #

      Dear ‘Nila,

      i am the Queen of “breaking it down” lists. On a bad day, i’ll put “Take a shower” on the list, just for the pleasure of crossing it off. Each load of laundry gets four steps ~ wash, dry, up (from the basement) and away. i love my lists.

      And like Frog, sometimes bed is a better option!

      i will get it done, spanking fantasies are just a lot more fun!

      hugs,

      aisha

  4. alice April 9, 2012 at 11:08 am #

    Maybe just the thought of Him being disappointed in your progress with the “to do” list is enough to get you into gear? The actual punishment sounds a little too hot to work as an incentive. 🙂 But don’t beat yourself up,we’re all behind with our homework some of the time. Alice x

    • aisha April 10, 2012 at 9:40 pm #

      Dear Alice,

      Maybe. Um, currently, i don’t think He even knows that i have this problem with procrastination that i might really want help with. So He doesn’t even know about my to-do lists, with the showers and the 4 part laundry…

      But i’m glad it’s not just me!

      hugs,

      aisha

  5. Little Monkey April 9, 2012 at 11:58 am #

    Oh aisha, it is so comforting to know that some one I look up to and repsect can be so like me (and I need to go make my list for today before D asks me about it, oops)

    I too like your fantasy, but I I was glad he stopped at 42. It made me laugh, and I thought to myself that if it was me, and I had to rely on my own math skills? My butt would fall off.

    • aisha April 10, 2012 at 9:47 pm #

      Dear LM,

      We are all sisters, no doubt about that. And in some ways you are a step ahead of me, because you have asked for help, and in my strength and pride, i stumble on alone.

      As for math, i discovered the other night that it doesn’t matter whether one “can” do math or not, when bent over a bed and given a problem, the math-doing part of one’s brain abandons one and laughs from a safe distance away.

      🙂

      hugs,

      aisha

  6. mouse April 9, 2012 at 12:01 pm #

    Where the hell did mouse put that genie in the lamp???

    Chore lists are horrible….ever looming. Taxes…bleh.

    Honestly aisha, mouse is going to climb out on the ledge and suggest that some things might be best left in the fantasy department.

    Hugs,
    mouse

    • aisha April 10, 2012 at 9:48 pm #

      Dear Mouse,

      When you find the genie, can i borrow it? Please?

      And… laughing… i know you’re right. Some things are better left fantasy!

      hugs,

      aisha

  7. Conina April 9, 2012 at 1:01 pm #

    Got our taxes done this weekend and boy am I glad that’s over with. Four-hour-long ordeal, check! Back in the day I was always doing them in January, but they were so much easier then…

    • aisha April 10, 2012 at 9:50 pm #

      Dear Conina,

      i know ~it feels soooo good when they’re done, i can’t imagine why i don’t do them sooner! i’ve never done them in January, used to see my first husband on the news at the post office, dropping them off around 10 pm. on the 15th… poor man, it about drove him crazy!

      hugs,

      aisha

  8. alittlekinky April 9, 2012 at 1:23 pm #

    Love this post.. I think that is a questions that a lot of us ask ourselves…

    • aisha April 10, 2012 at 9:50 pm #

      Thanks, Amaia ~ i think you’re right!

      hugs,

      aisha

  9. jade April 9, 2012 at 2:50 pm #

    In truth, i have found that it works. For me. But then….math skills + cane= a jade who cannot sit. Possibly ever again. Yeah. Not good. i can’t even count and i’m seriously NOT kidding.

    You hate it, need it, and hate that you know you need it.
    Its a need/hate relationship for me. But it works. Otherwise i tend to make and then loose lists.
    i’m off to go clean the dungeon. That’s on my list. Yep.

    • aisha April 10, 2012 at 9:53 pm #

      Dear Jade,

      Yeah, i wouldn’t know if it would work for me, cause i haven’t asked. i don’t think He would do that punishment, i think He’d be disappointed. i guess i’m not committed enough to ask. Or maybe if i did ask, i’d need to be committed… hahahahahaha….

      It’s late ~ after 9 p.m. ~ i’m getting goofy. Sorry. 😦

      hugs,

      aisha 🙂

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