From Sadness to Joy

13 Apr

i’ve posted it here before ~ Kahlil Gibran on Joy and Sorrow.  i’m reading it today, i think, at the funeral service for my friends’ baby.  Unless i stumble across something that seems more appropriate between now and 11:00 this morning.

Here it is again:

On Joy and Sorrow
Kahlil Gibran

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter’s oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, “Joy is greater thar sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.”
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits, alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

This evening, Sir and i are going out of town to a celebration for the daughter of a friend of mine, who will graduate from college this year.  i’ve known her since before she was born, the daughter that is.  My friend and i worked together and were roommates for a while, back before i got married the first time ~ nearly 30 years ago.

So today, i’ll literally travel from an experience of intense sorrow to one of great joy.  It seems fitting that there’s an actual journey involved.

Often, we want to avoid sorrow and embrace pleasure.  We want to be happy ~ all the time.  

But in the lifestyle, we know it doesn’t work like that.  i think we know that tears and laughter are just flip sides of the same coin.

i revisit this idea regularly.

 i think we know that they’re linked.  We make this explicit in how we approach pleasure and pain, right?  It’s one of the many things i love about “us.”

i’m a little scattered this morning, i don’t know where i was going with this.  You’ll have to make your own connections, tie up the loose ends yourself today.  i need to start getting ready in a minute here.

i’m looking forward to going out of town with Sir.  To seeing my friend, to celebrating with her family.  i hope the hotel i made reservations at turns out to be ok.

If it’s not, i will add it to my list of things i’m going to think about the next time i get punished for what i couldn’t control.  He has assured me that it will happen again.  He says:

“Your future punishments will be random and lack logical provocation. You will have been a bad girl at anytime that I pronounce you so.  It is to be anticipated but not to be predicted.” 

i definitely plan on keeping a list… {smiling…}

16 Responses to “From Sadness to Joy”

  1. Striving for Peace April 13, 2012 at 7:39 am #

    Good journey
    and hugs


    • aisha April 15, 2012 at 9:22 am #

      Thank you, Sfp!

      hugs back,


  2. vanillamom April 13, 2012 at 8:13 am #

    There’s a line that draws you up on your toes….that reads (to me)…that He’s keepin’ tabs on you, and while you may forget/don’t realize it….He doesn’t. (insert happy shiver)

    That tells me also that He is very connected to you, that he cares enough to take that control, however subtly it manifests…and that he’s there for the long haul.


    I love that poem by Gilbran. I was in my 20’s the first time I heard it, and it made a huge impact…carving out a place inside of me for more joy?

    And you are so right…in D/s land i think we grok that concept to our very bones. There will be pain to bring us to joy/pleasure…it is something that we expect, and more, embrace…the yin-yang of life.

    Blessed be, sister-of-my-heart, as you do this most difficult thing today…and pass through it into joy.


    • aisha April 15, 2012 at 9:41 am #

      Thank you, ‘Nilla,

      i appreciate the understanding and the blessing…

      And yes. My Sir does things in His own way and in His own time, but when He does, He’s just right. 🙂

      i’m a big Gibran fan too. i love his poem on children – ran across that much earlier than this one and tried to raise my kids with that in mind.



  3. Dancing April 13, 2012 at 8:52 am #

    I will be thinking about you today. I am glad the celebration part comes with the sad part.

    • aisha April 15, 2012 at 9:42 am #

      Thank you Dancing. This meant a lot to me.



  4. yesthankyousir April 13, 2012 at 10:25 am #

    This is the first time I read this poem, it made me smile. I really do believe in experiencing it all. How will we ever know the difference if we dont?

    Today Im sending you peace and safe travels.

    • aisha April 15, 2012 at 9:42 am #

      Dear Andi,

      Thank you so much. i’m glad you liked the poem, and i appreciate the support.



  5. jade April 13, 2012 at 12:23 pm #

    Take care of you today, Sugar. From great sorrow to great joy…and all in one day. Tough. Very. Holding you in the light, today.


    And…if you think about what he said….really think about it….its the epitome of control and power. That sort of thinking keeps me off balance just not in a good way. honestly, though, it sounds perfect for you to let go.

    • aisha April 15, 2012 at 9:45 am #

      Thank you, Jade. i appreciate the support ~ it really helped.

      And interesting perspective. i can see what you mean. i think that maybe you are less sure at your heart that you’re a “good girl?” Does that sound right at all?

      i don’t know. But of course you’re right. Really,

      “You will have been a bad girl at anytime that I pronounce you so.”

      is pretty frigging intense. And yet i’m reassured rather than afraid. How strange.

      Thanks for making me think.



  6. Michelle April 13, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

    I had never read thzt poen in its enitrety either. Very beautiful. And what a fitting one to be read at the funeral of a child.

    I want Margaret Elizabeth Frye’s “Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep” read at my funeral.

    • aisha April 15, 2012 at 9:46 am #

      Thank you, Michelle.

      And yes, i love that one too. Very lovely.



  7. greengirl April 13, 2012 at 5:45 pm #

    There’s a children’s book called “The Last Battle,” and one of the themes is that heaven is right in front of us – we just have to see it. I think you teach us how to see joy and to see the humanity of sorrow. even with your Sir – you teach us how to be open to see the caring.

    • aisha April 15, 2012 at 9:51 am #

      Thank you, Greengirl. i’ll have to go find the book, i love children’s books, and for sure i agree with that theme.

      And if i’m even halfway pointing out the direction to openness and joy and sorrow, then i’m delighted. Your words really touched me. Thank you.

      hug {although i think you’re one of my non-hugger friends, so thank goodness it’s only a cyber hug…}


  8. smilingsoul April 14, 2012 at 12:41 am #

    Although it may be a little late to say this… I wish for you this weekend as much kindness, patience, support, joy and love you can receive. I wish for you peace of heart, mind and soul. And that you find all of these in everything you do and with everyone you met.

    • aisha April 15, 2012 at 9:54 am #

      Thank you, Smilingsoul. It’s never too late for those kinds of good wishes. Thank you very, very much.



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