Not Either/Or

23 Apr

i am strong.

i carry the strength of my mother and of my grandmothers.  Women who crossed oceans on a hope and a prayer.  Women who loved and married and bore children.  Women who lost loved ones, struggled with money, tried to balance their own needs with the demands of family and life.

i come from a long line of women who worked.  We worked inside the home and out.  Not always a “career-choice,” often driven by need.  We were housekeepers and seamstresses, teachers and social workers.  We worked in offices  and factories, and sometimes we worked in the fields.

My womenfolk believed that we were the equal of any man, and that we were entitled to equal opportunity.  Equal education, equal jobs, and a full range of choices for ourselves and our daughters.

My mother and my grandmothers and my great-greats, as far back as i can see, were willing to make sacrifices to be with a husband, to be there for family, to care for a child.  They left home, or didn’t.   They traveled when they needed to and they grew roots when they could.

i come from a long line of strong, independent women.  We are not that way because some liberal women’s rights movement told us we should be.  We learned the hard way that there won’t always be a man around, and sometimes you just need to do what needs to be done.

i stand with the tradition of women in my family.  i am a strong, independent woman.


i am submissive.

i love the exchange of power.  Love the feel of handing who i am to the man i call Sir.  

i submit to His will, obey His words with great pleasure, even when it’s hard.   Following His lead, i grow in ways that i would not know without Him.

My Sir is not threatened by my strength.  He doesn’t need me to quit being who i am.  And He enjoys knowing that He controls me.  i don’t give up my strength and independence, i submit them to His care.

i am a submissive woman.  

Independent and Strong and Submissive.

It is not Either/Or.

16 Responses to “Not Either/Or”

  1. sin April 23, 2012 at 7:39 am #

    yes, well said.

    • aisha April 25, 2012 at 5:53 am #

      Thanks, sin!


  2. vanillamom April 23, 2012 at 8:59 am #

    Standing up, clapping, and yelling “HoooRah”…

    it is NOT an either/or.

    It is the fullness of who we are, of whom those we serve are, and the blending of both.



    • aisha April 25, 2012 at 5:54 am #

      Thank you, ‘Nilla!

      i like that – “the fullness of what we are…” Yes.



  3. mouse April 23, 2012 at 10:28 am #

    *Stands up and cheers*

    VERY well said aisha!


    • aisha April 25, 2012 at 5:55 am #

      Thank you, Mouse! {Blushing…}



  4. Amaia April 23, 2012 at 12:17 pm #

    Love. Love. Love. Rebloging.. cause it’s awesome.

    • aisha April 25, 2012 at 5:55 am #

      Thanks, Amaia, for the kind words and the reblog!



  5. Amaia April 23, 2012 at 12:18 pm #

    Reblogged this on alittlekinky and commented:
    Love this.. I can relate and I think that so many others can too.

  6. abby April 23, 2012 at 12:29 pm #

    AMEN! So well put and true for many of us! abby

    • aisha April 25, 2012 at 5:55 am #

      Thanks, Abby. i’m glad it resonated with you


  7. shianwrites April 23, 2012 at 11:11 pm #

    Love this! There is a time for everything

    • aisha April 24, 2012 at 5:15 am #

      Thanks, Shianwrites, for reading and for commenting!


  8. Wordwytch April 29, 2012 at 1:03 am #

    Yes!!!! Beautifully said!
    It isn’t either/or. It’s two sides of the same coin.

  9. MsConstanceExplains May 4, 2012 at 9:20 am #

    I’m just now catching up after getting back from a lovely vacation, but I wanted to note how much I liked this piece. It’s really very well-done.

    • aisha May 4, 2012 at 9:25 am #

      Thank you, Ma’am! 🙂 Hope you enjoyed your vacation.


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