Anxiety

26 Apr

i have been anxious lately, and it tends to annoy me.  Apparently, i expect myself not to feel anxious.  Ever.

Which is kind of stupid, because i know better than that.

And i should know better than to call myself stupid.  That’s ridiculous.

Yeah.

And when my head is fairly well twisted up on itself, that’s the best time for a spanking.

Standing at the foot of the bed, He says, “Pull your panties down to about here,” indicating with the cane, tapping lightly on the back of my thighs, where He wants them.

It is the single cane tonight.

And there are quizzes involved.  Questions about salad dressing and how to spell things and what He said was going to happen.  

i answer some of the questions right, and some of them wrong.

When i get them wrong, the cane lands on my ass with that sharp whistle and sting that makes me gasp.  When i get them right, the cane lands on my ass with that sharp whistle and sting that makes me gasp.

There is something reassuring about that.

i discover that i can’t spell while being caned.  Who knew?  

When He has finished, i am not anxious any more, and my thoughts are not tied into knots.  i thank Him, of course.  It was just what i needed.

8 Responses to “Anxiety”

  1. striving for peace April 26, 2012 at 6:43 am #

    because he can
    and because you need it

    what better reason for a spanking?

    lol
    I can’t spell out loud with or without a cane

    I must have either a keyboard
    or a pen

    so I’m glad to hear that you get the same penalty for spelling as misspelling

    sfp

    • aisha April 27, 2012 at 5:55 am #

      @Sfp,

      Right! Knowing that the cane is coming either way is a great ~ um, a great consolation? Really? Did i just say that?

      LOL

      aisha

  2. vanillamom April 26, 2012 at 7:51 am #

    something about that not-so-casual whistle of the cane that snaps one into good sense, and a nice trippy headspace, too.

    Hope you’re still feeling mellow and good.

    Coz, yanno…you are.

    (good, I mean…see? Didn’t call ya nice!)

    nilla
    *smiling*

    • aisha April 27, 2012 at 5:59 am #

      Hey, ‘Nilla,

      Thanks for not using the “nice” word, i sure ‘preciate that! And i am feeling pretty mellow and good.

      Thanks and hugs,

      aisha

  3. K April 26, 2012 at 8:28 am #

    That sounds really sweet between you and your Sir, aisha.

    I struggle with anxiety too. It might be a flaw, but it’s just how I am.. I told him if he needs someone who is not anxious, I am not her. Funnily, he says he’s anxious too. He’s lucky to have met me then, because soon he will realize just how Not anxious he is compared to anxious me..

    Even though I haven’t had too much physical D/s on my mind, your lovely description of this evening with you and your Sir, takes me right back to the “bottom” line of it for me – intimacy and sense of safety..quite good for anxiety. K

    • aisha April 27, 2012 at 6:09 am #

      Dear K,

      Yes, intimacy and safety are so central to D/s.

      And it’s funny how we feel about anxiety. i want to not have it, and really, i do know better than that. The harder i try to get away from it, the deeper it digs in. Working hard on just accepting it and letting it flow.

      hugs,

      aisha

  4. mouse April 26, 2012 at 11:15 am #

    aisha,

    Anxiety is a tough one and something mouse struggles with daily…sometimes all the centering, exercise and breathing in world won’t stop it either.

    So, you can’t spell while being caned? All mouse could think while reading that was thank goodness Omega never thought to give mouse a spelling test…

    Really mouse has even misspelled her name…LOL

    Hugs,
    mouse

    • aisha April 27, 2012 at 6:12 am #

      Dear Mouse,

      Laughing… it wasn’t exactly a spelling test. It was something that i’d misspoken on in an email, if that makes sense, and He was making sure i’d get it right in the future. So the mistake i made in spelling at this point was not the same mistake i’d made in the email, which cracked me up. i have a feeling i’ll be spelling this particular thing again under the same circumstances. i should practice…

      Learning to live with anxiety…

      hugs,

      aisha

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: