Who He Is

27 Apr

i get little tastes of who He is.  Um, so to speak.

Not just the kinky, although plenty of that too.  But last night, there were things i was fretting about and we talked about them.  He listened.

Really listened.  He does that so well.

He shared His thoughts.

And i listened.

i guess i must do that pretty well my self, because early this morning, long before the sun was up, i acted on the really subtle advice He’d offered.  It was a work thing.  And what He’d said was what i need to hear.

That was lovely.  AND ~

~ also last night ~

it was a challenge for me.  Something we’d planned and He wanted to change our plans and really, i didn’t want to.    It felt like a huge loss, what He wanted.  But He had a really good reason.   It would really have been selfish and churlish to refuse Him.

It was really hard to bite back the angry words that i wanted to spill on Him.  i knew right away that what He was suggesting was the right thing to do.  No doubt about it.  But ~

~ i didn’t want to!!  i didn’t want to give up anything!


But i stopped myself, and i made myself say, “Yes.”  i said it freely, letting go of what i wanted.  It wasn’t as hard as i thought it would be.

Of course, it’s easier for me to give up what i want for something that’s right than it would be if it had been just because He wanted it.  But it was still hard.  i had to look directly at myself, wanting to be angry with Him because He’d pointed out what we needed to do.  And i stopped.  i let it go.

And then i asked Him if we could make another change, one that made it more like what we’d originally planned, but it meant Him shifting the way He’d wanted things.   And He said yes, agreed to it easy as anything.

Maybe this is not amazing to you.  But all of those things ~ that He gave me work advice that i needed to hear, that He wasn’t afraid or even hesitant to tell me what He thought we needed to do, and that He was willing to make some sacrifice too ~


Then ~ as if that weren’t enough ~ when i had some miscellaneous stuff come up that i needed to deal with, in the middle of our time together ~ He was ok with it.   And it wasn’t work or family even, it was some other stuff, and He didn’t mind at all.

Maybe that doesn’t seem like a big deal to you either, but it is to me.

He had used the cane on me already, leaving me tingling and relaxed.  Later, we were tender with each other, and the combination of all this left me in a pile of gooey want-to-please.  i did that as best i could, but i’m carrying it with me today still.

Feeling the pull of Him on my heart, and other parts of my body too… Looking forward to Saturday.

10 Responses to “Who He Is”

  1. striving for peace April 27, 2012 at 7:48 am #

    I get it

    you’re relearning your reactions

    it’s astounding when we’ve learned that people will disappoint us
    or hurt us
    to learn that it was true for those other people
    but not for this one

    that’s what healing is all about

    (I learned that from you — you know — right here in this blog — you put words to it for me!)


    • aisha April 30, 2012 at 7:35 am #

      Thanks, Sfp.

      Yeah, that’s exactly it. It all could have gone so many other ways that wouldn’t have felt very good… and it didn’t. He didn’t.


      And He said something this weekend that makes me think that’s really happening for Him too. How cool is that?


  2. faerie April 27, 2012 at 8:17 am #

    What a sweet post. I’m so glad you found someone who is everything you need him to be. Have fun Saturday 🙂

    • aisha April 30, 2012 at 7:36 am #

      Thanks, Faerie!

      Hope you had a good weekend too!


  3. mouse April 27, 2012 at 1:04 pm #


    Nope you’re right it is big. Maybe for both of you. It’s that easy give and take that happens. Sometimes it just takes your breath away.


    • aisha April 30, 2012 at 7:36 am #

      Dear Mouse,

      Yes. It’s almost magical. 🙂



  4. vanillamom April 27, 2012 at 1:20 pm #

    so was that a little sip, a lick or a nice big sucking?

    gods I cannot take anything serious!!

    but really? This is just a beautiful post about the awesome joy of being understood, of being heard, of being appreciated, and of appreciating him back.

    very yin/yang. Balanced in a slightly skewed way, but a balance. Not holding the tension, but holding the joy.


    Happy for you, heartsister.

    and…enjoy the licking….

    (gods I crack myself up…that was a fucking *awesome* double entendre!)


    • aisha April 30, 2012 at 7:39 am #

      Dear ‘Nilla,

      Um, have i mentioned lately that you’re a brat? Yeah. You. Lol… It was a nice lick. So there, Missy.

      It was very yin/yang, wonderfully so. Maybe not in perfect symmetry, but you know, symmetry is not balance.



  5. greengirl April 27, 2012 at 3:58 pm #

    I love when good things happen because of being open to them happening. What a loop that just feeds you both and increases the good all around. I hope you have a really nice weekend.

    • aisha April 30, 2012 at 7:41 am #

      Hi, Greengirl,

      Yeah, it is cool, isn’t it? Particularly when not expecting and it does, it creates a circle.

      I think it’s a circle of love.

      Hope your weekend was great.


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