Coming Attractions…

30 May

COPE is coming ~ and we’re going.

Yep, it’s that time of year again.  Not time for Cope, that’s much later, but time to register.  Registration opens and closes in a matter of days.  

We get to register early because i volunteered at Winter Wickedness.  That was the first event Sir and i went to ~ the only big kink event so far.   i was worried that i was going to miss something important during my volunteer shift, but i didn’t, and now we get to reap the benefits.

Early registration = guaranteed room in the “chocolate” section.  The chocolate section of the hotel where the event is held is closed off ~ only kinksters  Not even hotel staff ventures into that part of the hotel.  

We can run around naked if we like.  Do some flogging in the hallway.  Or ~ more likely for us ~ He can have me wear a rope collar and lead me around on a leash.


It will also be the one year anniversary of the “collar of consideration.”  i went to COPE by myself last year, having met Sir not too long before that.  Before i went, He asked me to wear a collar of consideration.

In a way, i don’t know where we’re going with the whole “collaring” thing.  At the time, i thought it was mostly a way to say He was really interested in me and didn’t want me to find another Dom at COPE.  Which was fine with me, cause i was really interested in Him.

Like a kinky way of going steady.  i’m ok with not knowing right now.  We’ll see.

There are lots of other events i’d like to go to.  So far, He’s not been real interested in any of the more “leather” events.  i don’t know if that will change over time, or not, but i kind of hope it does.

But i don’t know where my kink path is headed either, or what needs i might have.  

i saw a quote over on Submission and Metaphor the other day.  She was quoting from a book called, “The Ultimate Guide to Kink,” by Tristan Taormino.  The author talks about “lifelong learners,” ~

… people who are self-motivated to continually seek out new knowledge and skills, through informal and formal education, to constantly develop and improve themselves.

Applying this idea to kink, Taormino says:

What the anti-kink fanatics don’t understand about us is that we’re geeks. Sex nerds. SM intellectuals. We pay money to spend a weekend going to classes.

That made me laugh, it’s so, so true.  i want to go to Beyond Leather, and Leather  Leadership, and all kind of other events.  Sir is not so interested in those events at this point.  Sometimes, i feel a little impatient, 

But He is definitely a lifelong learner, so i don’t worry so much about where we’re headed that way.  We’ll figure it out as we go.  If i need to go to those events for my own development in some way, then i trust that we’ll figure that out, and either go together, or He’ll send me off to them contentedly.  It’s ok if i don’t know right now.

For now ~ i get to register for COPE tomorrow!!!   General registration opens Friday.

Which makes me wonder ~ aren’t any of my blogging friends going to COPE?  It sure would be fun to see you there…

11 Responses to “Coming Attractions…”

  1. sin May 30, 2012 at 7:38 am #

    lol @ “We can run around naked if we like.” Umm, yeah, cause we totally love that look!

    I’d love to go but it’s not going to happen. It would be fun to be sex geeks with you though.

    The collar of consideration makes me think about a post. Could it be that I will actually post something D/s? Hmmmm…


    • aisha May 30, 2012 at 7:44 am #

      Hi, Sin ~

      Yeah, not so much running around naked for me. But you would be amazed at the people who pretty much do.

      And if words of mine have somehow inspired you to post ~ D/s or otherwise ~ i’m delighted. 🙂


  2. MsConstanceExplains May 30, 2012 at 8:05 am #

    Tristan Taormino is, apart from being cute and smart, also just a nice person. I’ve presented for her, in fact, at a couple o those events that people paid for to come to classes. If anyone is interested, her website is She also has an interesting book on poly relationships, too.

    About ten years back, I had dinner with Tristan at someone’s house. She had just flown out to the west coast and driven back with Colten, her boy, moving him into her home in New York City.

    (Bear in mind, too, that Colten is biologically female, although he prefers male pronouns.)

    She was talking about their trip back, wherein they had stopped at one of those odd roadside attractions you find when you drive cross-country, like the largest ball of string in the world or the tallest grizzly bear.

    She was talking about animals she had seen at a petting zoo sort of thing and she said, “And in one cage they had, I don’t know, mountain lions or pumas or something!” She turned to Colten. “What were they again?”

    Colten, who is very low-key, replied. “Ma’am, they were foxes.”

    Tristan after we all stopped laughing, Tristan allowed she was a city girl through and through.

    In any case, let me also put in a plug for aisha, and any of the rest of you, coming to Great Lakes Leather Alliance, if you are interested in kink/leather events.

    I’ve been to COPE, I’ve presented there, in fact, but it just wasn’t my kind of event, which is not to say it’s not a great event and that I wouldn’t encourage anyone to go, or that I may not go again sometime myself.

    It’s a very straight event, generally, which is also not to say that they wouldn’t welcome gay folks, and that there aren’t a few gays there.

    I do know that the first time I went, a gay male friend of mine went too, and felt pretty out of place because he seemed to be the only gay man there. He mostly hung out with us and then went off to the bars.

    However, back to GLLA. We meet in August in Indianapolis and have for the last 10 years, this is GLLA 11. If anyone is interested, the link is

    Beyond Leather is my second favorite event after GLLA, and I’ve been to four of the five, and plan to go next year, too. Fort Lauderdale. Beach. April. It’s also a very fun event, with a feel of the theatrical, in a good way. And since I’m giving urls, they are

    • aisha May 30, 2012 at 8:21 am #

      Thanks for all the information, Ms. Constance! I want to go to everything.

      i love the story about Tristan ~ and can kind of relate. i usually do better than that with animals, but vegetables and flowers can totally throw me! I can remember my mother and sister finding it hysterical because i confused cabbage and lettuce at the grocery… hey, it could happen to anyone!

      Thanks for the comment!


  3. lil May 30, 2012 at 10:21 am #

    I think that figuring it out as you go is a great approach. Life is a work in progress after all isn’t it.

    • aisha June 1, 2012 at 9:06 am #

      Dear Lil,

      Yeah, it really is, isn’t it? And i’m such a planner, it’s hard for me not to be worry/thinking ahead, trying to figure out what could go wrong so i can fix it.

      Which is not really so helpful…



  4. jade May 30, 2012 at 10:51 am #

    whew. Aisha, three paragraphs in and i could nearly bouncing in my chair, chanting “beyond leather, beyond leather.” i was worried, for a second that you might have cut the psychic cord between us. Nope. Whew. We are good.

    From my estimation, the thing i liked most about Beyond Leather was that i really saw all types of people engaged in just about every type of kink i can think of and everyone was pretty darn happy. i mean, some things are not my thing, but i was very excited to see people be who they are and watching leather men talk to pony people, waiting for the elevator.

    The simple joys in life just cannot be overstated.

    Thanks to Ms. Constance, for providing the link and for anyone who knows they want to go to BL, we are at the very last point you can get the best price offered. i just thought i’d toss that out there too. That means you have more money for the vendors later. Yep.

    As to the collar….gosh….time flies. The funny thing is all of your reader friends agreed on him right away. Everyone said they had a good feeling. Whatever happens with the collar, you have grown as a person, and enjoyed the path you choose. We can’t ask for more than that in life most of the time.

    i think you should celebrate….by coming to BL or somethin’. (Nods). That was a great idea you had there. Yep.

    • aisha June 1, 2012 at 9:26 am #

      Dear Jade,

      Yesssss, i want to go to Beyond Leather next year too, a whole, whole lot….

      Here’s hoping.

      And yeah, time does fly. 🙂 You’re so right about me learning and growing. The last year has been really good to me.

      So ya think BL would be a good place to celebrate, huh? Laughing… yep, it’s on my list, for sure for sure.

      As for the psychic cord between us ~ you are a sister of my heart ~ it can’t be broken.



  5. yesthankyousir May 30, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    It seems all you northern Trollops get the good events. Maybe I need to move ….


    • aisha June 1, 2012 at 9:09 am #

      Dear Andi,

      So, just for the record, i’m not actually a northern trollop ~ the trollop part is true, but i’m between north and south. Not south enough for a southern accent, not northern either, perhaps unfortunately a little bit country. If we’re going by accent that is.

      However, i don’t think moving is necessary. Just come visit!!!


  6. vanillamom June 1, 2012 at 9:17 am #

    LOL @ andi…’northern trollops’…*falling over laughing*

    I love the approach…we are lifelong learners…and that we are sex-geeks? Yeah. Yeah!! Exactly! I learn constantly. It doesn’t always apply to my D/s relationship, but to my writing, certainly so.

    I’m a very firm believer (the homeschooler in me here!) that we learn throughout our lives.Being curious and learning about everything is my groove…and learning sexy things? Is the icing on the cake!

    (wishing I could go do some of these…maybe someday!)

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