Just Between Us

16 Jun

So, here’s some news from my life…  my Sir and i are going to be living together by the end of this month.

Yes.  This month.

Really.

And i’m very happy ~ but you all already knew that, right?  That’s not the part that’s just between us.  i am excited, and happy, and wild about Him.  

But i haven’t said this to anyone else yet:

i’m a little scared.

You know.  It’s not exactly my first relationship.  Not even my first relationship in the house i live in.

i said i’d never do this again.  i said it more than once.  i meant it.

Previous relationships have not turned out as planned.  Obviously.  If they had, we’d still be together.

And they all started with high hopes and great joy.  

Ok, there haven’t been dozens of them, i can count them on one hand.  You know, the real ones.  But still.  

i didn’t expect “Happily ever after.”  But i hoped for “Working things out and growing together.”

Instead, they end with some version of “him” saying: “What?  You want me to leave?”

And me saying, “Um, yes.  Yes, actually,  i do.”

Why am i going down this road again?  Have i lost my little mind?

{shakes head}

Insane.  i must be insane.

“Hope is the thing with feathers 
That perches in the soul 
And sings the tune without the words 
And never stops at all.” 
― Emily Dickinson

40 Responses to “Just Between Us”

  1. appyvdv June 16, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    You obviously love your Sir and He loves you, so why doubt the future.
    I wish you two all the best.

    appy

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:24 am #

      Thanks, Appy!

      {Happy sigh…} yes. You’re right.

      aisha

  2. abby June 16, 2012 at 2:59 pm #

    You are not insane…altho at times I think we all are. You are an intelligent, caring, giving woman. You open your heart and hope for the best, by what I have read so far, you may just have found where you belong…with your Sir. hugs abby

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:25 am #

      Hi, Abby,

      Yes, there’s that touch of insanity in us all, isn’t there. But thanks for the kind words and the support.

      Hope can be a scary thing. But i think you’re right. 🙂

      hugs,

      aisha

  3. maraudersisabel June 16, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    Granted, I don’t know you at all, but I’d say hopeful rather than insane. Congratulations and best wishes.

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:26 am #

      Thank you, Maraudersisabel!!

      Yeah, for real i think you’re right ~ or hope you are!

      laughing,

      aisha

  4. Emen June 16, 2012 at 3:30 pm #

    And you wait, are awaiting the one thing
    that will infinitely enhance your life:
    the powerful, the uncommon,
    the awakening of stones,
    depths turning towards you.

    Rainer Maria Rilke

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:27 am #

      Hi, Emen!

      Thanks for reading here and for taking the time to comment! i really appreciate it.

      And i love the quote! i am a fan of Rilke, and of quotes in general, so thanks!

      hugs ~ and Welcome ~

      aisha

  5. sin June 16, 2012 at 3:34 pm #

    You sound hopeful rather than insane. And you doubt because you are a grown up and you know things can go badly. The unknown is scary.

    I do hope they are fantastic though!

    -sin

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:28 am #

      Hi, Sin,

      Yeah, that’s the thing, isn’t it? Hope and doubt balance in the soul… or something like that.

      Thanks for the good wishes!

      aisha

  6. faerie June 16, 2012 at 4:14 pm #

    There’s nothing wrong with being scared of the unknown. Living together with your Sir is an unknown. Just remember, he’s NOT those other men. You just needed to kiss a few frogs before you found your prince. Good Luck, I think you will be fantastic together 🙂

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:40 am #

      Hi, Faerie,

      Thanks ~ yeah, you’re right, it is natural to be scared of the unknown, and the future’s always unknown, right?

      i have indeed kissed some frogs ~ and some of them were probably princes too, just not my prince!

      Thank you so much!

      aisha

  7. yesthankyousir June 16, 2012 at 4:24 pm #

    aisha,
    Please do me the most tremendous of favors and read “if the Buddah married”. Please.

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:41 am #

      Yes, ma’am, i actually ordered it from Amazon as soon as i saw this {i don’t do Kindle) and it should be here today. Can’t wait to read it!

      aisha

      • yesthankyousir June 23, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

        I hope you enjoy it once the dust of the move settles. If anything it will give you a new perspective on processing someone else’s emotions.

        I don’t do kindle either lol, I won’t contribute to books not being printed!

  8. Wordwytch June 16, 2012 at 4:39 pm #

    aisha,

    May fortune shine on you this time. I don’t think you’re insane. We all want those relationships that make us feel whole, loved, safe. I hope that this step in your relationship with your Sir works out. We all deserve that bit of sunshine.

    I’ll tell you the same thing I’ve told friends and family. Follow three rules.
    1. Communicate
    2. Communicate
    3. Repeat the first two steps.

    I know it sounds daft, but… every time I stumble I think… “Did I really communicate?” If I couldn’t vocalise it… I write it down. Lots of letters and emails have travelled between Wolf and I.

    Good luck and Goddess Bless!

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:45 am #

      Thank you, Wordwytch!

      Thanks for the words of support, and the rules for a good relationship. i think you’re absolutely right. And i’ll try to remember it too.

      It doesn’t sound daft, it sounds wise. Too often we expect others to take a hint, read between the lines, figure it out, instead of speaking our truths.

      hugs,

      aisha

      • Wordwytch June 19, 2012 at 12:13 pm #

        🙂 You are welcome. I know I have to try and think about it some days when things blow up a bit. Granted, Wolf and I don’t fight. It’s one of our ‘rules’ because of abusive ex’s. (yes, him too!) However, every once in a while we do have a disagreement or misunderstanding, and I have to think real hard about whether I really communicated. Especially if I’ve retreated to my inner shell and pulled the rug over my head.

  9. littleone June 16, 2012 at 6:11 pm #

    living the dream girl! all the best..just be happy..thats all there is.

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:46 am #

      Thanks, Littleone! i sure appreciate your good wishes…

      aisha

  10. vanillamom June 16, 2012 at 6:17 pm #

    When one writes (as I’ve been known to do…)(grin)…there are some guidelines…will this tale be a HEA? (happy ever after)….or simply a HFN (happy for now)…and yanno? Those latter ones are the stories I prefer to write.

    A show I watch on tv had one of the main characters die at the end of the first episode.It was a shocking turn of events. Not sure if it was planned or if the actor died or what. But. The point is…there are stunning life-turns that we cannot predict laying just around the corner….so why not be happy-for-now?

    I love you deeply, sister of my heart…and I wish you joy and blessings and …a HFN….and if you take things one day at a time? It will always *be* now.

    love,

    nilla

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:49 am #

      Hey, ‘Nilla,

      i love that – HFN. And really, really ~ that’s what my life has been about. No reason to see this as being something different.

      We don’t expect that kind of twist from TV, but real life sure brings its own curve balls, doesn’t it?

      Thank you for the love and the blessings ~ you know i love you too!

      aisha

  11. swan June 16, 2012 at 6:52 pm #

    One of my favorite bits of wisdom …

    “To believe in something not yet proved and to underwrite it with our lives: it is the only way we can leave the future open.” Lillian Smith

    Believing makes the future possible.

    All the best,
    swan

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:53 am #

      Great quote, Swan!! Thank you so much – that’s perfect.

      Yes, believing is the vision that moves us into our future, isn’t it?

      hugs,

      aisha

  12. greengirl June 16, 2012 at 6:55 pm #

    You don’t seem to be expecting a fantasy, and you and he seem to have met each other on all kinds of levels – D/s, but also as friends, adults, lovers… what better foundation could you have? All the best for you both.

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 5:54 am #

      Hi, Greengirl,

      You’re right ~ i know you are, and i appreciate you saying it.

      Thank you,

      hugs,

      aisha

  13. faithful June 16, 2012 at 7:06 pm #

    There are many who would think that those of us in a LDR are the “insane” ones. Or those who are in a D/s relationship when they have “other” partners are the “insane” ones.

    You are wise and intelligent and most of all strong.

    The foundation for a wonderful and healthy relationship is there. No one knows what tomorrow will bring, so why worry about it.

    What a wonderful month “June” is for you. Perhaps that should be your granddaughters blog name?

    Congrats to you and your Sir!

    ~faithful

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 6:02 am #

      Thank you for the kind words, Faithful.

      Yeah, lots of judgements about relationships floating around, and really, they’re all unwarranted and unhelpful. Sir and i do have a good relationship, and there’s lots of reason for optimism.

      And yes! June has been ~ and is ~ a lovely month this year. That’s a good name suggestion ~ thanks!

      hugs,

      aisha

  14. Donna June 16, 2012 at 8:39 pm #

    Great happiness to you both, my friends!

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 6:05 am #

      Thanks, Donna! i really appreciate it. 🙂

      hugs,

      aisha

  15. poured out June 16, 2012 at 10:35 pm #

    Congratulations! And wishing you the best in all things.

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 6:05 am #

      Thank you, Poured out! i appreciate the good wishes.

      hugs,

      aisha

  16. Fondlers Anonymous June 17, 2012 at 12:02 am #

    it’s a good thing. and you’re doing it again cos you aint a cold hearted witch. inside you there is still a lot of space for love. so breathe deep, take the plunge and don’t think of failure!

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 6:09 am #

      Hi, FA,

      Laughing… no, i’m not a cold-hearted witch, that’s for sure! And yes, there is space for those things. Thanks for the reminder.

      hugs

      aisha

  17. Mick June 17, 2012 at 6:23 am #

    Best Wishes for it all and you both,

    Mick and Molly

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 6:10 am #

      Thank you, Mick and Molly! i hope we can follow your example in success of a relationship!

      hugs,

      aisha

  18. nancy June 17, 2012 at 8:53 am #

    I’m so happy for you both. You seem to be going into this with open heart and mind.
    All the best~!

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 6:11 am #

      Thank you, Nancy! i think i am, and i appreciate the good wishes! aisha

  19. smilingsoul June 17, 2012 at 11:07 am #

    From what I have read here about you and Sir X, I doubt there hasn’t been a lot of discussions and thought behind this decision. Already a good start. Without risk, without taking that first step despite the risk, there is no growth or improvement in one’s life. You know this, but sometimes it bears reminding. I say, “good move!” You have my blessing and support (not that you need it).

    What is a post from me without a blessing.

    May your new life together be filled with all the good this lifestyle has to offer. May you experience all the delights and the satisfying fulfillment a solid well grounded D/s dynamic produces. May you and your Sir discover the complete joy and bliss in each other everyday.

    smilingsoul

    • aisha June 19, 2012 at 6:13 am #

      Hi, Smilingsoul,

      O, yeah, plenty of discussion and thought. And yeah, there’s risk in everything, right?

      Thank you for the blessing. We appreciate it. i read it to HIm, and he took my hand as i was reading it.

      “How awesome,” He says. “Thank you.”

      hugs,

      aisha

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