Feelings ~ Innate or Not

29 Jun

Ok, i’m going to be a bit pedantic over here – i saw a comment on someone else’s blog that talked about innate feelings as opposed to learned, based on what they found when they googled.

So let me apologize for all the times i’ve googled and thought i found the answers.  Mentally slapping my own hand.

You can’t really just pick a random google article on something like “feelings” and think it’s the truth.  If you google “how to boil eggs,” you would probably get some reliable information, and some conflicting information.  This is even more true in the realm of psychology.

 I always talk about the “four feeling groups”:



Glad and 


Linehan adds four –


guilt or shame

curiosity or interest and

~ truth be told, i don’t remember the eighth one, and i can’t frigging find the information.  i think it’s compassion.  But i wouldn’t swear to it.  It could be love.

In any case, i just needed to point out that there are lots of ways to classify emotions and  determine which ones are innate.  With lots of disagreement.  Linehan, for example, who i usually revere, doesn’t distinguish between guilt and shame clearly, and youall know how strongly i think they’re separate.  

There.  i’ve said what i needed to about that.

i’ve spent the week telling people good-bye.  i am emotionally exhausted.   i would prefer to not even think about feelings for a while.  Much less feel them.

And one more day of good-byes to go….

13 Responses to “Feelings ~ Innate or Not”

  1. vanillamom June 29, 2012 at 7:55 am #

    It is not surprising to me that you are saying lots of goodbyes…people are drawn to you, your compassion, your true caring, and your strength (You are one of the strongest women I know, heartsister.)

    As to the feelings, I was unaware that “surprise” is a feeling… I thought of it more as a conditional response to some kind of outward stimulus, and not a true “feeling”. I’ll have to ponder that. I guess…I thought…feelings are something one feels for a period of time…sustained for a bit…surprise seems fleeting.. Love, or anger, or sadness are more lasting.

    One more day to get through, then you can collapse and replenish this weekend…with your Sir… 🙂

    Isn’t *that* a lovely feeling?



    • aisha July 5, 2012 at 7:08 am #

      Hey, ‘Nilla,

      Thanks for all the kind words ~ there were a lot of good-byes, and i don’t think i began to feel my own good-bye feelings til later.

      As for surprise being a feeling, sure it is, although we don’t usually think of it ~ clearly, I didn’t either til Linehan popped up with it. But I think what they look at for innate feelings is expressions baby make, facial expressions that are universal across cultures.

      Interesting observation about feelings lasting ~ typically, we say that moods last, feelings come and go like clouds in the sky… but i get what you’re saying about surprise. It is a a quicky.



  2. sin June 29, 2012 at 8:15 am #

    Hi Aisha, I was a bit surprised you just let it go completely, but then I thought well, she never writes anything negative, and besides she’s busy. But I commented on my own post.

    I had planned to write something else on it this morning, based on some research I did (extensive googling, but pretty good sources i think) but I did recall some stuff from several university courses back in the day.


    • aisha July 5, 2012 at 7:15 am #

      Hi, Sin,

      i had to laugh when i read this, and even now (days later) i’m smiling. i did start to comment on the comment on your post, and then i thought, that comment wasn’t what your post was about, and didn’t want to sound like i was lecturing him right there in your comments and your blog is not really about him anyhow. So i ran back over here and typed it all out.

      i liked your follow-up post!


  3. striving for peace June 29, 2012 at 9:14 am #

    that same comment bothered me —

    but I didn’t feel that I could articulate what wanted to say about it


    and I hate the goodbyes too — one more day and then — hello new world — watch out! — Here comes our Aisha!


    • aisha July 5, 2012 at 7:32 am #

      Hi, Sfp,

      Well, i hope i articulated some of your thoughts too.

      It has been a “hello, new world” experience! It still doesn’t seem quite real ~ more like i’m on vacation, but it’s sinking in better every day.



  4. mouse June 29, 2012 at 1:43 pm #


    Goodbye’s are so hard. Sending lots of hugs,

    Hugs more

    • mouse June 29, 2012 at 6:25 pm #

      Ok, mouse just sent Daddy a text about that. His reply was just to observe Babygirl. The list you gave as a whole makes total sense. Dunno tho about love. Compassion or empathy make more sense. Love and it’s opposite hate, seem to be learned — but that is just mouse’s opinion.

      Anyway…this is just opinion loosely based some unscientific observations. Thank you for giving mouse a mental break from worrying about packing and all that and giving her an excuse to look at the baby 🙂

      • aisha July 5, 2012 at 7:36 am #

        Hey, Mouse,

        Yeah, He’s right, they came up with the list partly through observing babies. Very cool.

        i’m glad it gave you a break and a fun chance to observe the baby!



    • aisha July 5, 2012 at 7:34 am #

      Thanks for the hugs, Mouse! Much appreciated.


  5. Wordwytch June 29, 2012 at 3:37 pm #

    Goodbyes can be such an emotional roller coaster, and very seldom is there any level/neutral ground. Lots of hugs, good energy and positive thoughts heading your way.

    Psychology…. Wolf was working on a class on Freud. He speaks fluent German, so he read some of the original work in German. I don’t think I’ve ever heard such cussing in my life. (German, Russian and Romanian) When he finally calmed down, I asked what was wrong. His answer?…. Botched translations. It boils down to Chinese rumours. Or, like in the bible where it says thou shall not let a poisoner live gets translated to thou shall not let a witch live. Freud’s work has been mistranslated for years and no one is correcting it.

    As for the 30 second answer bunch… Just hand them a copy of Fifty Shades. They’ll feel right at home.

    • aisha July 5, 2012 at 7:46 am #

      Hi, Wordwytch,

      Thanks for the hugs and the positive energy! i know they helped.

      As for Freud, um, yeah. He may have been mistranslated all to hell and back. Wouldn’t be a bit surprised. For sure, a lot of what he purportedly said are things i don’t agree with, but he changed the way we view the world, for sure.

      And lol at the “hand them a copy of 50 Shades.” Yep, no doubt!


      • Wordwytch July 5, 2012 at 5:26 pm #

        Always Aisha. 🙂 While I don’t “know” you, I feel I do “know you” if that makes any sense.

        Certainly makes you wonder what else got lost in translation…


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