aisha Gets Pouty

12 Jul

All day yesterday, i was excited at the prospect of kinky times ahead.   i was doing productive things all day, but underneath was a simmer of excitement.

At the end of the day, home before Sir, i start cleaning up, getting ready for His arrival. i’m getting ready to put on my favorite shirt with buttons, when i feel a rush of uncertainty.

Why am i getting all tarted up for Him?  He hasn’t told me to.  He hasn’t told me to in a long time.  

No, i just assume this is what He wants.  He didn’t text me during the day or anything.  He didn’t tell me to “wear buttons.”  Why am i doing all this?

What if He comes home tired and isn’t even interested?  What if He meant we wouldn’t have time for dinner because we’re going to work on our digital picture display?  

What if He doesn’t want to be my Sir anymore?  What if we’re just going to have a vanilla relationship from now on?

As the thoughts flash through my mind, each one is more convincing than the one before it.   In no time, i’m almost certain that Sir doesn’t want to be my Dom, much less my Master.

i feel bereft.  i sigh.

Ok, i still care about Him.  We’ll work it out.  i’ll deal with it somehow.

And then, instead of putting on the black shirt with the buttons over the cute panties and bra i’d changed into, i just put on regular clothes.  And go to tidy the kitchen and empty the dishwasher. 

i feel pouty.  What am i supposed to do?  Just assume He wants me to wear that shirt?  He never gives me instructions anymore.  He never tells me what to do.  Why did i even get cleaned up?

Pout, pout, pout.  

i know i’m pouty.  i think seriously about running over here and doing a blog post on how pouty i feel.  i think about what youall would say to me.  i think  you would be sympathetic, and would point out that i need to talk to Him about it.

Fortunately, i don’t stop to blog, and i am just emptying the dishwasher when He comes home.

We hug, for a long time, as we do.  i am almost ok for a minute, but then i remember that we aren’t going to have a kinky relationship anymore and i’m sad.

i go back to emptying the dishwasher.

He looks at me a little strangely, but just says, “When you finish that,  you can fix me some coffee.”  

i say, “i’ll do it now,” but before i can close the dishwasher, He steps up behind me and grabs my breast, begins twisting the nipple.

i don’t respond as i usually do.  i kind of just stand there.  Inside, i’m still thinking how sad it is that we aren’t going to have a D/s relationship anymore.

He says, “I’m interrupting what you’re doing?” in mild tones.

i say, “No,” and then i realize i have to tell Him how i feel and what i’m thinking, and i don’t want to, but it’s like youall are watching me, waiting for me to do the right thing.  

{Did i invite youall to come eavesdrop on my life?  O, wait, yeah, i guess i did!} 

It’s soooo hard, the words don’t want to come out, but i manage to say, “i’m just in a weird head space.”

He says, “What kind of weird head space?  What happened?”

i say, “No, nothing happened, it’s just, it’s just, i feel weird, it’s stupid, i don’t know why i feel like this…”

He says, “Fix us both some coffee and we’ll sit down and talk about it.”

So i fix His coffee, and mine, which is more of a process than you might think, and when i’ve finished, He says “Put your coffee right here,” pointing to a spot on the table, “And you sit right here,” tapping his thigh, “on my lap.”

So i do, i sit on His lap, and He says, “Now tell me.”

And so i tell Him about coming home and starting to get ready, and i only get as far as “i was getting ready to change clothes, but…” when He interrupts me ~

“But you didn’t know what you were supposed to wear.  ‘Cause no one told you.”

And He wraps His arms around me, and i nod.  i’m thinking that sounds ridiculous, but He doesn’t seem to think so.

He gets it.

And i say, “Well.  You know.  i don’t have rules.  Or routines.  Or anything,” still a little pouty.

He takes over then, gently, seamlessly, but certainly.

The next thing i know, i’m wearing one of His dress shirts, a white one.   You know the kind, cotton, button-down collar, and the sleeves are so long i have to roll them three times.  It feels good, a little stiff and starch-y against my skin.

He takes me to the basement.  

Our basement is full of stuff at the moment, but there’s a clear space in the middle, and He’s put His coffee table there.  It’s covered with a towel.

There’s a towel, doubled over on the floor next to it.

This is not looking good for me.  Or maybe it is looking good, depending on how you look at it.

“Kneel,” He says.  “Mmmhmmm.  Bend over the table.  Yes.  Just like that.”

And He starts easy.  With His hand.  A gentle warm up.

Then a not so gentle warm up.  And i’m squirming and squealing a little.  And He says something ~

omg, i can’t even remember what He says, but it strikes me funny, and i start giggling.  All bent over the table, panties around my knees and i’m giggling.

“Laughing?” He says.  “You think this is funny?’

“No ~ no, i don’t,” i say, but i can’t quit giggling.

And then there’s a cane.

“Maybe this will help you stop laughing,” He says, as it swooshes across my ass.

“Omigod, i’m sure it will!” i say ~ but it doesn’t.  i’m still giggling.

And He strikes a couple of more times, but i can’t stop, i know it’s ridiculous and not even in my best interest, but the giggles win out.  

So He puts the cane down.  “Maybe this will stop all that giggling,” He says.  

i can hear Him doing something behind me, but i don’t know what, til i feel something cold and sticky ~ O ~ it’s lube, o yikes ~ 

and suddenly there’s lots of penetration, all kinds of penetration, and i’m not laughing.  Not at all.

i’m making a whole different kind of noise.  

And He’s laughing.

Once He’s quite sure i’m through giggling, the canes return, and have the intended effect.

Later, much later, we talk about the D/s aspect of our relationship.  He says He’s pleased that i was able to tell Him what i was feeling.  He says He’s been giving me some time to concentrate on the changes in my life, especially the grand baby, but it’s time to change that.

He says that in the next week or two, we’ll establish some goals for me.  A personal development goal and a sexual ~ D/s sexual ~ goal, that He’ll help me work toward.  

He says He’ll give me plenty of rules and structure.

Being the contrary creature that i can be, i’m a little nervous about that now.   After all, i don’t really need rules, do i?  i’m a good girl, i am…

29 Responses to “aisha Gets Pouty”

  1. vanillamom July 12, 2012 at 8:51 am #

    There is much that I want to say on this but I’ll do it privately, okay?

    I think your Sir X is the greatest of treasures. You had to dive deep, through a lot of murky waters…yet you carried on and here He is.

    How absolutely perfect you are, together.

    Love,

    nilla

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 7:59 pm #

      Thanks, ‘Nilla. You are so right. He is a treasure, and i promise you i won’t forget to appreciate Him!

      hugs,

      aisha

  2. yesthankyousir July 12, 2012 at 9:00 am #

    Ahh aisha I’m smiling because this is your fantasies come to life. Look back on your stories see how they line up. Enjoy opening up those lines of communication!

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 7:59 pm #

      Thanks, Andi ~ i hadn’t exactly thought about it, but omg, you’re so right.

      Smiling…

      aisha

  3. nancy July 12, 2012 at 9:18 am #

    What a great post! You can talk with him..he listens .. he acts and you’re no longer pouty. I’m so happy for you both.

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:00 pm #

      Thanks, Nancy!

      i know, it’s kind of amazing, isn’t it?

      Thanks again!

      aisha

  4. striving for peace July 12, 2012 at 9:33 am #

    oh
    this is nice.

    you know
    with all this change
    this heavy weighty change in your life

    I think it’s normal to be worried that EVERYTHING will change
    and to want additional structure

    (ooh — blog post idea — runs to computer)

    sfp

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:02 pm #

      Hi, Sfp,

      This made me smile when i read it ~ i love the image of you rushing over to post ~ and i loved the post you wrote even more.

      Yeah.

      It makes perfect sense.

      aisha

  5. faithful July 12, 2012 at 10:08 am #

    ask and thou shall receive (or something like that ! ) 🙂

    ~faithful

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:04 pm #

      Hi, Faithful,

      Thanks! 🙂 Perfect quote… well, in some warped way!

      hugs,

      aisha

  6. Fondlers Anonymous July 12, 2012 at 10:26 am #

    weee! *clap clap clap*

    i’m tempted to call you eliza for a bit…

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:05 pm #

      Hi, FA,

      Lol… you can call me eliza, i’ll practice the accent!

      aisha

  7. Conina July 12, 2012 at 12:39 pm #

    I smiled while reading this, because I do this same thing. Get myself all worked up and sad about “not being kinky anymore,” and for what? All while he’s innocently working his heart out to provide for us, none the wiser about what’s going on in my head, nothing on his part having contributed to it.

    It’s the sub crazy.

    • vanillamom July 12, 2012 at 1:54 pm #

      OH OH…Conina…I LOVE that! The sub Crazy. *nodding*…I do that, sometimes. He calls it being “womanish”… I think I will introduce this “disease” to Him next time I get it!!

      nilla

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:08 pm #

      Hey, Conina,

      i think lots of it do it… It’s funny, isn’t it? And ~ like ‘Nilla ~ i love “the sub crazy.” It really is that.

      aisha

  8. joolz July 12, 2012 at 3:25 pm #

    Lovely, so pleased things turned out as they did 🙂

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:09 pm #

      Thanks, Joolz!!

      aisha

  9. sin July 12, 2012 at 3:41 pm #

    just what you needed. I like where he told you to put your coffee right there.

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:14 pm #

      Hi, Sin,

      It really was! Laughing…yeah, i liked that too. Immediately made me feel better!

      aisha

  10. Jz July 12, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

    ALWAYS listen to the advice of weall!
    🙂
    glad it sorted out. (now, please stop doing that to yourself!) ;-p

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:16 pm #

      Lol… Thanks, Jz ~ i love that ~ “weall…” Exactly!! yY

      i’ll try. Promise.

      aisha

  11. Wordwytch July 12, 2012 at 9:18 pm #

    While I knew where your head was going, I was very relieved that your Sir was on top of things. 🙂

    A lot of us have had that ‘starving’ feeling lately. It’s like a default setting that we all hit when life gets crazy. (love the sub crazy thing) We get on overload and the first thing we figure that is going to bale on us are our Doms. Daft, but it happens.

    However, I am Very Glad you have a wonderful Sir and that things got straightened out.
    Hugs!!!!

    • Serafina Samadhi July 13, 2012 at 10:46 am #

      Life happens. . sometimes not exactly the way we hope. Sounds like it will be taking off for an exciting ride!

      • Wordwytch July 13, 2012 at 4:28 pm #

        Yes, life does happen. Sometimes in the ways we least expect. 🙂

      • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

        Hi, Serfina,

        You’re so right ~ and i LOVE your name you know…

        aisha

    • aisha July 15, 2012 at 8:17 pm #

      Thanks, Wordwytch!

      Yeah, it’s funny isn’t it? Glad i’m not alone.

      And i’m Very Glad too… {grinning…}

      hugs,

      aisha

  12. hispreciouspet July 17, 2012 at 11:53 pm #

    Love your post! I, too, know exactly what the ‘sub crazy’ is!!! It has happened a lot in my life right now…cuz the ‘rut’ thing. but, I have so done exactly what you have done also. Like, I will say, ooo, i’m going to wear that sexy skirt and ….wait, he didn’t tell me to, so maybe he won’t want me to and grrr…I just don’t know what to do??!! And then I’ll be like…maybe he doesn’t even WANT to tell me what to do? Luckily, talking is the key and I’m always happy with the results!!! 😉

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Clump Soul | The Monkeys Journey - July 13, 2012

    […] post ”Making my Own” and “What to Do” , the hilariously poignant “aisha gets pouty“, Lil’s post about asking for what you want all touched on my tangled ball today. The […]

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