A Ritual, i Suppose

23 Jul

i always say that Sir doesn’t have routines or rituals for me.  Or rules, for that matter.

Of course, there’s the little matter of the white shirt that is my responsibility now, and ‘Nilla describes it in a comment that i love.  In case you missed it, she says:

“I love the idea of him ordering that the care of it come from your own hands. How, as you take the time and effort, the touching, and all the symbolism of that shirt…you will inevitably be drawn into memories of it, and anticipations for it.

it’s swooningly D/s romantic.

You’ll iron the collar, and imagine his hands tugging it open to fasten your rope collar around your throat. You’ll press the sleeves, and remember the tingle in your fingers when you roll them up in preparation, to make them the right length for your arms, yet knowing they cradled his.

It is a wonderful ritual of caring, first, and the way he weaves himself into your thoughts as you take care of this shirt…it’s brilliant, and beautiful. Aisha? It’s a story, writ in cotton. That just makes me smile.”

i think that’s beautifully said ~ thank you, ‘Nilla.   

And now there is that little rule about having self-induced orgasms in a different room in the house each time.  i’ve only used His bathroom and ~ unthinkingly ~ the bedroom, and o, yeah, the living room, so far.  i’m limited to the study, the kitchen and my bathroom to choose from next.  And the basement.  

But before all that, there was coffee.

i get up before Sir.  And i make coffee, because i drink it.  i make enough for Him because anything else would be ridiculous, right? So i barely count this as a ritual.  But ~

i grind the coffee beans myself, because i like fresh ground coffee.  i add zero calorie Torani sugar-free vanilla flavoring to mine, because i’ve gotten addicted to it.  i do a half cup of coffee and  half milk.  i froth the milk because it makes it festive, and with my handy-dandy milk frother, it’s easy enough to do. 

So i already have this elaborate coffee ritual going on.   i grind the beans, brew the coffee, doctor mine up…  

Sir’s coffee is easy.  Coffee, a full cup, two sweet-and-lows, and a healthy dollop of non-fat half and half.  Don’t ask me how half-and-half can be non-fat, but that’s what it says on the carton.

It’s not something He mandated, i didn’t have to make His, he didn’t mandate it, or request it.  i just started doing it.

Occasionally, i’m not there, and  i know He’s capable of fixing His own coffee.  Well, i fix the actual coffee.  And put His cup next to the coffee maker.  With two little sweet and low packets next to it.  And a spoon.  

But if i weren’t there to do that, He would still have coffee. 

Um, i think.


Now that i think about it, before we started living together, He would just fix Himself instant coffee.  {shudder}

So it’ll be interesting to see what He does next month when i’m gone for 10 days.  

But it’s definitely a ritual, fixing His coffee, and taking it to Him.  i enjoy doing it a lot.

And i have a feeling there will be other things as we go along.

11 Responses to “A Ritual, i Suppose”

  1. striving for peace July 23, 2012 at 8:25 am #

    I wonder if the most effective rituals aren’t the ones we create ourselves.

    When I started calling M every morning at a specific time to say “hello” — it wasn’t a ritual.
    but at one point I asked him if it disturbed him
    if he would prefer that I call at a different time — or not at all

    He told me he would miss it if I stopped

    and a ritual was born

    Submission isn’t just the ways in which they “make us do stuff” — it’s the ways in which we bend ourselves into pleasing shapes through acts of service.


    • aisha July 25, 2012 at 9:28 am #

      Hi, Sfp,

      Yeah. Good points. That is what we’re doing, isn’t it?

      Thanks for sharing those thoughts here.


  2. Mrs. SoftBottom July 23, 2012 at 12:35 pm #

    Wow the shirt- that’s a new perspective on it- love it!

    • aisha July 25, 2012 at 9:31 am #

      Hey, Mrs. SoftBottom,

      Thanks! Glad you liked it! Nice to see you back, too… 🙂


  3. Wordwytch July 23, 2012 at 2:34 pm #

    I agree with Nilla about the shirt. 🙂 It is lovely and loving.

    For us, it’s tea, not coffee. And then there is playtime. We can snuggle, talk, goof around, but nothing happens until he lets me in under his arm. Head on chest and snuggled skin to skin. 🙂 I really didn’t think about it as a ritual though until just now. Funny that.

    • aisha July 26, 2012 at 5:31 am #

      Thanks, Wordwytch. That’s a lovely ritual you describe too… 🙂


      • Wordwytch July 26, 2012 at 3:13 pm #

        I like it. Okay, I love it! 🙂

  4. sin July 23, 2012 at 6:34 pm #

    Thank goodness BBD doesn’t want me to iron. I’m bad at it, and I don’t like it, and I’m bad at it.

    We evolve rituals which please the people in them don’t we? For example, if BBD wanted me to iron, I’d do it, but it would be way more about power than about loving devotion.

    I think instant coffee is nasty and that you provide a very big service there.


    • aisha July 26, 2012 at 5:34 am #

      Hey, Sin,

      Yeah, ironing isn’t my strong suit either… maybe if i can pull it out of the dryer fast enough, it won’t need ironing. That’ would be good.

      AND i totally agree about instant coffee!! i think He thinks i’m providing a big service too. 🙂


  5. ava grace July 23, 2012 at 10:52 pm #

    I love rituals and the way they develop just as much … the ritual of the shirt and coffee are lovely ava x

    • aisha July 26, 2012 at 5:34 am #

      Thanks, Ava, for the kind words and for commenting!


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