Day 22 ~ Questions ~ 30 Days of Submission

20 Sep

Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your submission or submissive feelings?

Interesting question.  

i have felt submissive without a dominant partner, but it hasn’t been a good idea to express that.  In my experience, vanilla men do not get it, don’t particularly want it, and don’t have a clue what to do with it.  

i’ve handled that by not having sexual/ romantic vanilla relationships in the last almost ten years.  

So, on a whole different note ~ here are a couple of  stories that have made me ponder submission

One happened Monday night, when i was following Sir’s text directions, getting ready for dinner.  At one point, He texted me to look out the bedroom window at the street.  The blinds were closed, so i opened them.  i was looking out, expecting to see Him drive up or something.  

Instead, i get another text.  This one says, “Close the blinds and look out from between the slats.”

Shocked, i obey, wondering where He is that He can see the window.   From then on, i have the sense that He’s close by and could walk in at any moment.  

Later, much later, i ask Him where He was ~ turns out He was blocks away.  He just figured the blinds were open.

Dom magic.

But that made me aware of the power i attribute to Hm.  i really believed He could see me.

On a whole different note, when Sir moved in, the first thing He said ~ well, one of the first things ~ was that He would be in charge of taking out the trash.  Ok, cool, that works for me.

i was a little concerned that it was the start of a big sexist split in who did what, but that hasn’t been the case.  However, He has held on to the “I take out the garbage” stance.

i am actually forbidden to take out the trash.

Which is fine.  Strange, but fine.

The garbage truck comes early here.  i know from my own experience, if one puts off taking the can to the street until morning, one had better get it out there before 6 a.m. or risk not having it picked up.

And yet, i would procrastinate, think “i’ll take it out in the morning,” and end up racing to the street with it as i heard the truck turning the corner.

So it doesn’t bother me that Sir doesn’t take the garbage out the night before.  i get that.  i don’t even worry about it if we miss a pick-up ~ BTDT, not the end of the world.

But a couple of weeks ago, He starts suggesting that i need to help Him remember that he needs to get up early and get the garbage out.

i am resistant to this.  If you’re in charge of garbage, you’re in charge of garbage.  Not my job to remind you.  Nope.  Not doing it.

So last night, He just flat tells me to do it.  To get Him up a half hour after i get up {gives me time to make coffee} and to remind Him to take the garbage out.

This is exactly what i absolutely would not do in a vanilla relationship.  No way.  Be a frigging grown-up.  If you’re responsible for something, you’re responsible for it.  Don’t expect me to remind you.

So i don’t know what happened last night.  

Well, maybe i do.  

He makes it an order, not a request.  A gentle order, but an order.

He says it in the Dom tone of voice, not demanding or loud, but firm.  He says something like, “I want you to remind me that it’s garbage day.”  Emphasis on you.  And want.

It’s different from what i think of as a sort of whiny “i can’t remember unless you tell me.”  It’s a specific direction. 

He says, “I’m going to set my alarm for half an hour after you get up, to help you remember that i need to get up early, but I want you to remind me to take the garbage out.”    

 Magic Dom words, “I want you to.”

Put that way, what else can i say?  

“Yes, Sir.”

So i kind of think that maybe i really will do anything He tells me to do.  It might seem like picking out the antenna i “want” Him to use on me is a more intense test of submission.  But it’s not.

Reminding Him to take out the garbage ~ that’s a huge test for me.  And i step right into it ~ total obedience.

It even tuns me on a little bit, when i think about it that way.  


9 Responses to “Day 22 ~ Questions ~ 30 Days of Submission”

  1. vanillamom September 20, 2012 at 8:08 am #

    it is weird, isn’t it? And yet it made me grin to see you say it that way, so baldly. It isn’t that he’s abrogating the responsibility…it’s just a new venue for him (after all maybe his trash day was a different day..). His ordering you to do it…makes it yummy. Makes it not an “I can’t do this after all”…but an “I expect your support slut” …kinda like my Master using me for a chair when He had a perfectly good couch to sit on.

    I think it’s beautiful how you ….how He and you…braid the D/s component…His Mastery, your submission, throughout your relationship. Beautiful and powerful.



    • aisha September 23, 2012 at 11:13 am #

      Thanks, ‘nilla, it’s kind of amazing to me at this point how nicely it is working.

      Um, maybe nicely is not the right word. But you know what i mean… And isn’t it wonderful to watch it build and grow? For you and your Master too, i mean.




  2. nancy September 20, 2012 at 8:19 am #

    The power of those words from the Dom mouth.
    Sir said once..”—that is just the way I want it–”
    and I about fell off my chair.
    Such a turn on..I told him and he just smiled. ~~
    They know..somehow~!

    • aisha September 23, 2012 at 11:14 am #

      Hey, Nancy,


      They do know, and it is an amazing turn on.

      Who knew?


  3. faerie September 20, 2012 at 12:20 pm #

    It’s not really about the garbage at all, it’s about obeying him and pleasing him with your service. At least that’s how I see it 🙂

    • aisha September 23, 2012 at 11:17 am #

      Hi, faerie,

      You’re exactly right. When i read your comment, i thought, well, duh. Why didn’t i think of it that way? That’s exactly what it is.



  4. Wordwytch September 21, 2012 at 1:06 am #

    It’s that whole “I EXPECT” attitude. Runs shivers up my spine.

    • aisha September 23, 2012 at 11:17 am #

      Hi, Wordwytch,

      Yes. For sure.



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