And Now ~ A Word…

11 Oct

…from our sponsors?  Nooooo, i don’t have a sponsor.  And i don’t ever remember what show it was that used to say that, although i can still hear the announcer’s voice…  But i digress.

This is a message from my non-kink world.

i’ve been wandering around the blogosphere, reading blogs that i haven’t read before.   It’s been fascinating.

Some blogs are just delightful, and i bookmark ’em.  Some make me think, “Omg, that doesn’t even sound consensual to me,” and i scurry away, because it’s probably just fine and i don’t need to get involved, and i don’t need to read it either.

Last night, i read a post over at Dumb Domme that i really liked.  i started to leave a big ole comment on it, but i don’t know her, so i did a “hi, i like your blog” instead and come home to think about it.

The post i stumbled on is a rant against the hetero-normative, male-dominant, female-submissive nonsense around us, even in the kink world.    What set her off was a tweet about how “a submissive woman longs to be completely feminine, aches to connect with someone completely masculine, not a narcissistic abuser.”

i think many submissive women read that and think, “YES!”   i don’t want a narcissistic abuser!!”  We may be so happy to see that someone “gets that” that we ignore the rest of the sentence.

Of course, the things wrong with the rest of the tweet are legion.  Go see what “Dumb Domme” says about it ~ she is right on target, in my opinion.

That made me think about how different my blog world here is from the rest of my world, in some ways.  And that’s ok, i don’t need to be involved in activism everywhere.  In some ways, this is a break from that.

But i’m taking a break from my break today.  i saw this video  ~ you can watch it here:

or here:

It is rabidly, ridiculously anti-contraception.  i won’t rant about how extreme it is, because both of those links do it better than i could.   i’ll just mention this ~ it says birth control makes men gay.  And it’s in our water, and making us all transsexual.  Yes, the video really says that.

You can watch that, or read about it at your leisure.  

But if you are in the U.S., and registered to vote ~ 

Our whole political system may be a mess, and both of our political parties may be corrupt and stupid and not know what they’re doing.  Or maybe you have strong opinions about one side being more on target than the other.  In either case ~

Only one of the parties wants to eliminate legal abortion and restrict access to birth control.   And you may be opposed to abortion, but birth control??  Really???

Yes.  Don’t kid yourself.  The Republican party has decided to support groups of people, like the ones that made the ridiculous video, who are opposed to birth control.  

Against birth control not just for themselves.  For all of us.  They think it’s murder.  They don’t want employers to pay for it, and they don’t want doctors to prescribe it.

Please don’t let that happen.  If you believe birth control is wrong, that’s fine, don’t use it.  But don’t support people who want to restrict our ability to control our own lives through family planning.  

i’ll be back tomorrow with my regularly schedule program, finishing Dom questions…

24 Responses to “And Now ~ A Word…”

  1. heather1 October 11, 2012 at 7:36 am #

    Those videos are as bad as the CEO who sent out a letter to his employees that is Obama was re-elected that he would lay them off. Mean while he continues to build his multimillion dollar house and live the high life.

    Sometimes I just want to move to Canada. Hopefully, the people there are smarter about their government than the people have become in the US.

    Go Big Bird!


    • aisha October 11, 2012 at 12:50 pm #

      Hey, Heather1,

      i hear you – sometimes i feel that way too. But it’s so cold in Canada… and i don’t speak Spanish so i can’t go south.

      Yes, lol, Go Big Bird!



      • sin October 12, 2012 at 7:32 am #

        The people in Canada (sigh, maybe it’s just me?) feel inundated with your politics. And really, it’s mean and disrespectful from both sides. I have more sympathy with the politics of the left, than the right, but the personalities are just nasty on both sides.

        Ooops, sorry, triggered a little rant there.


      • aisha October 12, 2012 at 8:42 am #

        Hey, Sin,

        You can rant on my page anytime you like. 🙂

        i remembered you felt that way about our political ugliness, and actually that was part of what inspired this post.



  2. Master Charles October 11, 2012 at 8:14 am #

    aisha, your view of Republicans is the same view that vanillas have about kink.

    You are totally misrepresenting us, not being open minded and not inviting understanding, and quite frankly, I am disappointed.

    I have worked in the political arena locally in Louisiana as a staffer in the state legislature, and in DC, as a staffer in Congress. I have been a Republican since Jimmy Carter’s disastrous presidency, and I have not regretted it. Currently, I am a network engineer and I do work for the government, but not in a political capacity, so I have no agenda other than reflecting on my experiences, wisdom, and pursuit of trust, truth, and understanding of human nature.

    Like Democrats, Republicans have extremists. Refer to that statement as an adult and not as another rabid extremist.

    Republicans value life, respect a woman’s right to choose, and a state’s right to manage its abortion policies; they would encourage other methods used in contraception besides abortion. Period. If you add anything more to that position, then you are just being a rabid extremist, and misrepresenting the truth.

    Life is beautiful, painful, and not easy, but if a child can be adopted instead of destroyed, that would be good for our country. Adopted children can have a fun and wonderful life, just as a paternally based child can be a disaster, a criminal, and a drain on society. But if abortion is the choice, then let it be safe and let the parents know if a child is involved.

    But it is a country based on freedom of expression, thought, and voice; and your position is your own. I would just hope you would seek fact and truth, and not pander to extremists. Case in point is that, like Obama and the Democrats; Republicans had control of the White House and Congress while GW Bush was president. They had this control for 6 years, aisha; and never touched the abortion legislation.

    Master Charles

    • aisha October 11, 2012 at 8:31 am #

      Dear Sir Charles,

      I appreciate your measured and thoughtful response. I recognize that there are moderate Republicans such as yourself, and can certainly respect that.

      However it seems to me that the party has been hijacked by extremists. If what you’re saying were factual, then I would not have posted this.

      The Republican party platform includes an extreme anti-abortion position that leaves little room for any exceptions, even in the case of rape or incest.

      Nationally, the GOP has introduced 4 bills that are anti-abortion, and countless bills in the states. But four nationally. The commitment to ending abortion is clear.

      Factor into that the anti-choice folks who believe that birth control is the same as abortion and also murder and you have extremism there. I need to step out against that.

      I am sorry if I offended you personally, but it’s too important an issue to stay silent.



      • Master Charles October 11, 2012 at 9:28 am #

        None of those bills made it out of committee. Republican majority committees.

        No, the party has not been hijacked by extremists, aisha. That is another inflammatory and untrue statement.

        When the loathed and hated GW Bush and Reagan we presidents, no anti-abortion legislation made it out of committee. We are concerned, and deliberative body of people; we do not control each other’s views. Republican members introduced bills, not a party. Those bills died in committee due to lack of support from the Republican members.

        I am not asking you to stay silent, I am asking you to be honest, truthful, and honest.

  3. SirQsMLB October 11, 2012 at 8:49 am #

    Part of the Republican platform includes, “We oppose school-based clinics that provide referrals, counseling, and related services for abortion and contraception.” While people have diverging beliefs in abortion and contraception – limiting the discussion is dangerous. School-based – does that include high school – state colleges? To not provide counseling and discussion about contraception is …. EXTREME. And this is part of the official Republican Platform 2012 (

    • Master Charles October 11, 2012 at 9:56 am #

      Again, you are misrepresenting the statement; “We oppose school-based clinics.” I don’t think a school is a place to set up a, “school-based clinics that provide referrals, counseling, and related services for abortion and contraception.”

      Schools have counselors, nurses, and sex ed instructors. There is plenty of contraception information out there. That children don’t use contraception is not due to lack of information; it’s more a matter of choice among youth. “Sixteen and pregnant,” on MTV was not caused by kids not having access to contraception, it was because kids wanted love and got pregnant on purpose.

      It is my opinion as a citizen that we do not need clinics in school referring children to abortion clinics. Contraception is discussed in sex ed, and there is a curricula based on teaching contraception.

      You honestly think a “school-based clinics that provide referrals, counseling, and related services for abortion and contraception,” is extreme and offensive? I would not want my child to attend a school that has such a clinic.

    • aisha October 11, 2012 at 12:51 pm #

      Hi, SirQsMLB,

      Yep. Seems extreme to me too.


  4. aisha October 11, 2012 at 12:17 pm #

    Master Charles,

    The platform of the Republican party now, in 2012, is not only anti-abortion, it states that
    “the unborn child has a fundamental individual right to life which cannot be infringed.”

    This language leaves no room for exceptions, including rape, incest, life of the mother, or any other. It is part of the Republican parties platform, which represents the stance of Republicans. In my opinion, this is extreme and I am asking people to reject that.

    Those are facts.

    Whether or not you want your child informed about contraception and abortion or not is also a matter of opinion, and my thoughts depend in part on the age of the “child.” Abstinence only programs have not been proven effective in reducing teen pregnancies whereas data from a recent study demonstrates that access to free contraception reduces both unintended teen pregnancy and abortion rates.

    In Texas, they are defunding Planned Parenthood and funding crisis pregnancy centers to provide reproductive healthcare to women. Crisis pregnancy centers, by their mission and values, do not refer for contraceptives or abortion. And that’s for adult women.

    You are welcome to continue to disagree, but this is an area that I know a lot about. You may have missed what’s been happening with the Republican party lately, and I can understand that, there are lots of other things to think about. I posted this because I think lots of people don’t realize what’s going on.



    • Master Charles October 11, 2012 at 1:51 pm #

      Again, you are misrepresenting what I say.

      That’s fine.

      I appreciate your passion.

      The Republican party has always been pro-life and pro-choice, they just wish people would choose life instead of rushing to get an abortion. There has been no change in the party.

      With a Republican dominated House of Representatives and majorities in all the committees, not a single anti-abortion bill has made it out of committee.

      We have impassioned members of the party that put strong language in party platforms on both sides of the isle. Those people have time to caucus and play emperors for a few days, the rest of the party must legislate in reality.

      Abortion is not going away. As a responsible government, you want to make abortion safe, legal, and rare. That is what your average Republican believes, and that is how they legislate.

      Texas can defund who it likes, abortions are still legal, safe, and available in Texas.

      • aisha October 11, 2012 at 2:15 pm #

        Master Charles,

        If I misrepresented what you’re saying, I’m sorry.

        I started to include in my post today some thoughts about how dichotomized we are as a country, particularly over this issue, but decided not to. I think our discussion has sort of demonstrated that though.

        I appreciate that we’ve stayed civil and respectful – people are not always able to do that.


  5. vanillamom October 11, 2012 at 2:44 pm #

    Ashia, a well thought out post, as usual. You do a good job of saying “no, not going to work.”
    There are extremists at both ends of the aisle…and very few moderate voices. I cannot believe in this day and age that this kind of …war on women, is still an issue. Let’s worry about paying our debt…and keep the republicans out of my birth channel.



    • aisha October 12, 2012 at 8:15 am #

      Thank you ‘Nilla.

      Lots of extremism around, yes, ma’am.

      Laughing… and i totally agree with you ~ i prefer not to let strangers into my private parts without permission.



  6. Wordwytch October 11, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

    Political discussions are always fraught with different interpretations. There are extremists in all parties. However, I agree with aisha that there are some extreme Republicans that are making the lime light at the moment. They worry me greatly with their opinions about women. There was an article yesterday in the Huffington Post which is an example of such behavior.

    I am equally aghast at the actions of the Taliban for shooting a school girl yesterday and the Ukraine trying to legislate against homosexuality.

    • aisha October 12, 2012 at 8:18 am #

      Hi, Wordwytch,

      i saw that ~ about the guy who wants parents to have the option of taking their kids to court and getting them killed if they’re too rebellious! I have to admit, that one seemed so far out that i was laughing, but some of the other stuff is not laughable. Well, and ok, for real, getting permission to kill your kids isn’t either!!

      And I totally agree that some horrendous things are happening elsewhere ~ much worse than here. It breaks my heart to think of girls fighting for the opportunity to go to shcool. We are so spoiled here.

      But that’s a whole other post, isn’t it?



      • Wordwytch October 13, 2012 at 12:01 am #


        Wolf mentioned the story in Arkansas first, and I thought he was joking. Shudder!

        As for the rest… I had an instructor who wanted me to change my essay topic, because Women’s Rights was so banal and over done… to her it just wasn’t a real issue any more. Grrr… I stuck to my topic and she backed down once she read it and changed her mind. Maybe some day I’ll find a place to publish it.

  7. striving for peace October 11, 2012 at 6:49 pm #

    I do believe that there are a great many rational reasonable Republicans out there — I was raised by one.

    But I also — as a Texan — am appalled at the defunding of clinics that have made it significantly more difficult for women to receive the care they need — not only for abortions — but also for birth control, for pap smears, for STD prevention and treatment and for education.

    and yes — I have to agree – that we’ve seen Repub’s in the white house who have not touched abortion legislation — because the truth is

    shhh — don’t tell anyone

    but everyone who has a change to become president is a secret moderate.

    Here’s the problem.

    There are too many legislators at the state level who are willing to pass legislation that limits or has the potential to prevent women from receiving birth control or having an abortion.

    There are senior leaders in our state governments who believe that there are different kinds of rape (the good kind and the bad kind) — there are leaders who are in power today who pass laws that cause an undue burden on abortion clinics in order to shut them down — laws targeted specifically at that.

    what I fear
    and what I continue to see
    is that the extremists are gaining more and more of a mainstream audience

    that the extremists seem to be happy with the idea of a theocracy

    and I only wish
    that the rational republicans
    would stand up
    and organize
    and take the party back
    from those who have sullied it.

    I have way more to say– but this is where I remember that I have my own blog and can say it there

    well said Aisha

    • aisha October 12, 2012 at 8:36 am #

      Dear Sfp,

      This is the loveliest response. i wish i had thought to say that about Republicans ~ well, except i wasn’t raised by one… But i soooo appreciate your perspective on this.

      And yeah. i wish that the moderate folks were more vocal. But thank you for saying it so beautifully, and for saying it here.



  8. jadescastle October 11, 2012 at 9:42 pm #

    Thanks for your thoughtful and referenced post. i always appreciate it when people quote their source and provide ways to educate themselves. Personally, i find it offensive in the extreme to regulate what a woman does with their bodies. i’d think that kinky people would be the first to step up and consider what it means to not give a person the chance to have informed consent about their own reproductive rights. When funding is cut, the poorest among us suffer even more because even a pap smear becomes an unbearable extra expense. To be then told that my body is not under my control is utterly offensive. Thanks for sharing. And…you are *such* a class act. Really. After all, its your blog and you can say whatever you like. Your Sir is, no doubt, very proud. 🙂
    Hugs to you…j

    • aisha October 12, 2012 at 8:40 am #

      Dear Jade,

      Thank you for your response! Your words really touch me, and make me remember why i felt like i needed to write this post in the first place..

      Everything you say here is so on target ~ and all the shame that comes with having other people telling you what to do with your body is so damaging.

      Smiling… i think my Sir is proud of me, even if maybe sometimes He thinks i could make my life easier by making different choices sometimes, i know He doesn’t want to change me.

      Thank you, Jade, for the kind words too.



  9. Lily Lloyd October 13, 2012 at 8:59 am #

    You’ve heard of “gold star” lesbians, right? Gold star lesbians are women who have never slept with a man and don’t plan to, ever.

    I’m a Gold Star Democrat.

    I’ve never voted for a Republican. Never slept with one either.

    My interest in changing either of those things is, oh, let’s see….zero.

    • aisha October 13, 2012 at 5:13 pm #

      That’s too funny, Lily.

      i started to say the same here, but you know, there were some people back in my youth that i didn’t even think to ask about political affiliation.


      Thanks for reading – and for commenting!


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