Part V ~ Questions for Dominants

12 Oct

What is the quality you find hardest to deal with in a submissive, on a personal level?

Sir laughs a little bit at this one and says, “Well, you have to keep in mind, I consider challenges fun.”

But i promise you, He doesn’t mean challenges like the brattiness that Ms. Constance talks about in this terrific post.    i don’t think He’d put up with that kind of “brattiness” any more than she would.  

And if you know me, you know i’m not likely to be bratty.  Lots of other things that are difficult, maybe, but not particularly bratty.   So that’s not the kind of challenge Sir means.

He goes on to say, “Sometimes, your lack of self-confidence, keeping you in tune with your power, can be difficult.”  

And while i’m processing that, He goes on, as if He had not just laid  His finger on some tender part of my soul.

“Whiny-ness would be a problem, that’s not a problem with you, but that would be a problem for me if you were.  Of course, if you are whiny, refocusing your attention on an ass whipping takes care of it, so that’s not so hard to deal with.  It might be different with someone else, but you accept kink very readily – and our sensibilities parallel each others.” 

i listen, and take notes as He’s talking, but part of me is still back there with the thing He said about my lack of self-confidence and keeping me in tune with my power.   

That undoes me.  That’s the thing that makes me want to sit at His feet and take off His shoes, carefully and with love.

13 Responses to “Part V ~ Questions for Dominants”

  1. sin October 12, 2012 at 7:26 am #

    Pretty sure mine would say brattiness (okay how DO you spell that?) right now. These Dom questions are very interesting aren’t they?


    • aisha October 14, 2012 at 9:53 am #

      Dear Sin,

      Struggling with relationship issues isn’t brattiness,” imo. But yes, the questions are interesting. Would love to hear Big Bad’s responses to them!


  2. MsConstanceExplains October 12, 2012 at 8:22 am #

    What an interesting response, and I have to say, I hadn’t thought about whiney-ness particularly either, but that’s very true. I don’t like whining in anyone, I particularly dislike it in adults.

    For one thing, it’s so representative of that attitude that I dislike in submissives, that, “I don’t WANNA do that!”

    And again, as I’ve said many times in many forums, I don’t think submission is easy, no, not one bit, I do not know how the fuck you folks do it, but then, I suppose that’s the point.

    I can’t imagine it because that’s not how I’m wired.

    But I accept that it’s difficult and it sucks and I recognize that we can be real pieces of work at times, and sometimes we ask for things simply because we WANT them, and that’s really all the explanation you need, or I am prepared to offer.

    Because, you remember, we had that conversation in the beginning, the one where you said, I want to serve you and I said, it won’t always be easy or fun, it will not be continuous skittles and chips, and you said, you recall, yes, I know that, and this is what I want.

    Whining and brattiness are the total antithesis of that.

    I am ok with you saying, this is really hard for me, or, may I have some time to process this, depending on what it is.

    I am NOT ok with whining or being a brat, though, and they’re really kind of two sides of the same coin, aren’t they.

    And no, I didn’t miss that really interesting comment about power and confidence, either, I’m going to give that some thought myself.

    • aisha October 14, 2012 at 10:00 am #

      Hi, Ms. Constance,

      Once again, we are so in agreement. i can’t tolerate any kind of whining – not from my kids, my friends, or my employees. i won’t take the kind of whininess that is trying to wheedle someothing out of you, or the kind of whininess that is just bemoaning the difficulty of your life.

      i’ve been known to ask people “Can you say that in your grown-up voice?” Laughing when i say it, but still…

      i could do a whole post on whining… maybe sometime.

      But yeah, the casual comment about power and confidence was the real answer, wasn’t it?


  3. Kitty the Submissive Wife October 12, 2012 at 11:17 am #

    I would be undone as well – it is the thing that H is trying to “fix” in me as well – achieving my full potential. I love that about him so much.

    • aisha October 14, 2012 at 10:01 am #

      Hi, Kitty,

      Nice – very cool, isn’t it?



  4. SirQsmlb October 12, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

    Undone, I can see that! It speaks volumes about his love for you!

    • aisha October 14, 2012 at 10:01 am #

      Hi, SirQsmlb,

      It does, doesn’t it? {smiling..}



  5. Wordwytch October 12, 2012 at 11:48 pm #

    Lack of self confedence… Oh does that sound familiar. That is one thing that Wolf and I work on. Funny part is that it isn’t an issue across the board, but in certain areas. So, I go along just fine and then “boom!” I hit a bump. Then he helps me pick myself up and continue on.

    • aisha October 14, 2012 at 10:05 am #

      Hi, Wordwytch,

      Yeah, i bet that’s true for a lot of us, that it sneaks up on us. Mine tends to be subtle rather than episodic with a bang, but i hear you!



      • Wordwytch October 15, 2012 at 5:37 pm #


  6. Lady P October 24, 2012 at 7:32 am #

    Dear Aisha
    This post brought tears to my eyes. I’m sure Mylord would have said exactly the same about me…

    • aisha October 26, 2012 at 4:10 pm #

      Dear Lady P,

      It is a lovely thing to have said about one, isn’t it? 🙂



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