Between the Dashes ~ Sir Goes Shopping {O, My!}

19 Nov

Saturday afternoon, Sir and i went our separate ways.  He headed out to do errands.  i napped, and read some blogs, and exercised, and wrote a blog post, and was cleaning up the kitchen when He came home.

i notice that He has a bunch of “stuff” in His hands.  Something long ~ several long things ~ maybe four feet long.

“Here,” He says, “Let me set this stuff down,” and He disappears into the study.  Moments later, He’s back, and wraps His arms around me.

After a long hug, and an “mmmmm,” or two from me, i say, “How was your day?”

“GREAT!” He says, letting go of me.  “Wait til you see what I got!  Did you know they sell bamboo at Lowe’s?”

i’m laughing, “No, Sir, actually, no, i didn’t.”

“Well, they do, look at this!”  And He leads me into the study.

There they are.  Pieces of bamboo.  Um, poles.  Bamboo poles.  One really thick one and three skinny ones.  Trying to be coy, i say, “Um, what’s that for?”

He says, “What’s that for?!  For you, of course.  You know, leaving welts, it’s not about how hard you hit, it’s how fast the implement’s moving, and these can move really fast.”  He shakes His head, “What’s it for?  It’s for you!  i got it for you.”

What can a girl say but, “Thank you, Sir”?  So i say it, nicely, i hope.  And He laughs.

Then He says, “And ~ wait til you see this!  Remember that paddle I used up at COPE?”  i nod, o, yes, i remember that paddle.  “Well look at this,” He says.

i put the piece of wood on the arms of Sir’s chair, and that’s a ruler – the orange thing, so you can tell just how big it is! That’s the smooth side, btw.

Yes, it’s a piece of wood.  NOT just any piece of wood.  It’s red oak.  One of the hardest types of wood you can buy that’s native to the Unites States, He says.  {Don’t ask me how He knows this stuff.}

He explains that it’s going to make a WONDERFUL paddle.  All He’s got to do is cut it down here {and He demonstrates} so He can grip it easily.  And put a hole in it so He can put a piece of braided rope or something through the hole so He can put that over His wrist and make sure He has a firm grip on it.  While He paddles me. 

It just needs to be sanded real good, so it’s smooth.  “Here,” He says, handing it to me.  “Feel it.  Which side do you want used on you?  Which side do you think is the business end?”

Cautiously, because i generally anticipate walking into some kind of trap here, i feel both sides with my fingertips.  One side seems rougher, grainier than the other.  So not that one.  Hesitantly, i flip it over and say, “This side?”

He says, “That side?  That’s the side you want against your skin?”

“Um, yes, i think so…” i say.  “It feels smoother than the other one. Isn’t it?

“Well, yes, it is!” He says approvingly.  Then, “Too bad, the other side is the business side.  The smooth side is where you put any fancy decorations you might want.”

“O,” i say.  “i see.”  i knew there was not really a choice here.

“Have you ever sanded anything?” He asks.

“No, no, Sir, i haven’t,” i say, totally prepared to admire His sanding expertise.

“O, good,” He says, “This will be a good learning experience for you.”  i guess my face shows my disbelief ~ i’m thinking WHAT?  You want ME to sand it?  But i bet my face just said, “Um, excuse me?”

Anyhow, He says, “Yes, you, it’ll be great.  Really make the whole experience more personal, more enjoyable.  You have to do it slowly, rubbing the sanding paper over it like this,” and He demonstrates.  “Don’t worry, I’ll show you how to do it.”

And what’s a girl to say but, “Yes, Sir, thank you, Sir.”  So i say it, and i’m laughing.

Later, i massage Sir’s shoulder for a while, He’s having some pain.  The massage helps, and then He says, “But i think i need to work some of the stiffness out. Swing that arm a little bit.”

It takes me a minute to get it.  In fact, it’s not til He turns me over His knee that i realize what kind of arm swinging He has in mind.  i suggest that this might actually make his shoulder worse, but He assures me, No, this will be just what He needs.

After a little hand spanking, we adjourn to the bedroom, where He continues to work out the kinks {giggle} by beating my poor ass with the bamboo poles and the paddle.  

The paddle felt just as you might imagine, like a big ole piece of wood thudding on my ass.  He complained mildly about the grip, noting it would be easier to use once He carved the end of it down, but it didn’t seem to bother Him any from my perspective.

The canes were ~ well, they were interesting.  Here’s a picture of one of them:

It didn’t seem like they hurt too much at first, and then they got a bit stingier, and then a bit more stingier, and then they hurt like a ~ well, you know, like a mother~.  They left some nice welts, which i felt like i’d earned, but when i got up this morning, they were already gone.   

Sir’s shoulder was fine this morning too, so i guess He did know what He needed all along.  


i went to SIG yesterday too ~ the Special Interest Group discussion ~ and had a lovely time, but that will have to wait for another day  {Waves to Ms. Constance, and CS, and C, and anyone else who was there…}

13 Responses to “Between the Dashes ~ Sir Goes Shopping {O, My!}”

  1. faithful November 19, 2012 at 8:41 am #

    “more personal, more enjoyable” .. He is a funny one!!

    Happy Sanding!!


    • aisha November 20, 2012 at 8:16 am #

      Thanks, Faithful! i’m glad you like the personal posts. And He is funny, isn’t He? Thank goodness, in the long run, i really wouldn’t do well with a real serious all-the-time kind of Dom.


  2. vanillamom November 19, 2012 at 8:43 am #

    dayam….someone had a busy, albeit fun, weekend! I was laughing out loud…YOU? sanding? Yeah, I can picture the words on your face (but prudently held behind those lips, right? !) Worry not, sister, sanding is the easiest thing…very soothing and zen…

    Then again…knowing the ultimate purpose could interrupt one’s thoughts, couldn’t it?


    ps wait until I tell you about Masters new pervertable. *deep sigh* That Man…!

    • aisha November 20, 2012 at 8:53 am #

      Hey, ‘Nilla,

      i did – it was a lovely weekend! 🙂

      As for sanding ~ i know, right? i am clearly not a sandpaper using kind of gal! He said the same things, soothing and zen. Hmpf to both of you. lol… and yes, i’m sure there will be plenty of distracting thoughts in my head!

      Can’t wait to hear about your Master’s latest pervertable too!



  3. yesthankyousir November 19, 2012 at 9:01 am #

    *sigh* bamboo is so lovely. His sanding reasoning is very funny.

    • aisha November 20, 2012 at 8:53 am #

      Hey, Andi,

      i’m not sure “lovely” is the word i’d use for the frigging poles, but He is funny for sure!



  4. Kitty the Submissive Wife November 19, 2012 at 9:59 am #

    And then he didn’t even wait for you wonderful sanding to try out the product. So impatient that man. 🙂

    • aisha November 20, 2012 at 8:54 am #

      Hey, Kitty,

      He is, isn’t he? lol… But i’m pretty sure i won’t be able to tell the difference anyhow.


  5. Wordwytch November 19, 2012 at 7:17 pm #

    Sounds like your Sir is making a version of Armageddon. I hate that paddle. It isn’t oak, but damn! It takes my breath away. You do realize though as you sand it, he’ll want to test it to see if it is smooth enough.

    As for the bamboo…. geep! I’ve seen that stuff used at SCA practices.

    • aisha November 20, 2012 at 8:58 am #

      Hi, Wordwytch,

      “Armageddon?” Yikes! Although i admit, the one at COPE was pretty intense.

      The bamboo is interesting. What’s SCA?


      • Wordwytch November 20, 2012 at 12:05 pm #

        The SCA is Society For Creative Anachronisms… It’s a group of about 30,000 people who enjoy recreating history from the middle ages and the Renaissance. Lots of sword fighting (bamboo) and arts and crafts. I’m a Viking woman and Wolf is a mercenary.

  6. Michelle November 19, 2012 at 7:53 pm #

    I just love imagining these conversations – I can just see the excitement in your Sir’s eyes when he’s telling you they have bamboo at Lowe’s.

    • aisha November 20, 2012 at 8:59 am #

      Hi, Michelle,

      This comment really made me laugh ~ you’re so right, He was really excited about it, and i love that you can imagine it!!



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