It’s Coming

30 Dec

New Years, that is.  The time for looking back and looking forward and trying to sum it all up.

This is the second anniversary of the week when i decided to stop medical intervention for my mother.  i guess i’ll mention that every year forever.  In some ways, that was more difficult than when she actually died about five months later.  Certainly, it was a lonelier time.

This has been a watershed year for me ~ so many changes.

I left a job and started a new career path.  Sir and i became committed to each other.  He moved in.  i became a grandmother.  My daughter and her family moved to Very-Far-Away.  i went to visit them.  

But looking back at my resolutions from last year ~  i only kept one of them.  Well, and i sort of half-ass kept another one.    

i guess that’s better than none, right?

The rest can be recycled straight into this year.

Sigh.

But so can this quote i used last year:

Wherever you are is always the right place. There is never a need to fix anything, to hitch up the bootstraps of the soul and start at some higher place. Start right where you are.   

~~ Julia Cameron

Ok, enough of this. 

Sir is feeling better ~ thanks for all the get well wishes ~ and  i’m going to go buy some Vitamin D today, so thanks for that too.  i’ll respond to comments soon ~ HOW did i get behind again?

And Naomi is waiting…

17 Responses to “It’s Coming”

  1. Fondles December 30, 2012 at 6:45 am #

    You’re a wonderful blessing to us here in Blogland. (and I’m sure, in real life too).

    have a fulfilling year ahead!

    • sin December 30, 2012 at 8:25 am #

      I think Fondles said that perfectly! You are a blessing. I love reading your blog and I sometimes think “what would Aisha say about this?” when I’m trying to see the positive.

      -sin

      • aisha January 1, 2013 at 11:58 am #

        Good grief, Sin, that’s a lovely/scary thought!! i think i’m glad – flattered anyhow – and quite sure that whatever answers you come up with are better than what i could have done!!

        hugs,

        aisha

    • aisha January 1, 2013 at 11:57 am #

      Thank you, Fondles, that makes me blush, you know. But thank you.

      hugs,

      aisha

  2. jade December 30, 2012 at 10:24 am #

    You are such a lovely woman, aisha. A wonderful friend, thoughtful. Smart. i think what you did for your mother was truly heroic and profoundly loving.

    So many changes for you. You have shown a lot of bravery and heart through them.

    @sin- grinning at the idea…wwad (What would aisha do?)

    • aisha January 1, 2013 at 12:01 pm #

      Dear Jade,

      Thank you so much. i’m so glad i’ve gotten to know you, you are such a source of support. Looking forward to seeing where 2013 takes us.

      And wwad? Giggling…

      aisha

  3. faithful December 30, 2012 at 10:42 am #

    I love WWAD as well!! Now that made me smile.

    You are very special Aisha and I know 2013 will be a wonderful year for you as well.

    And hopefully great Naomi adventures too 🙂

    Happy Happy New Year!

    ~faithful

    • aisha January 1, 2013 at 12:03 pm #

      Omigoodness, Faithful – stop!

      Lol..

      But thank you for the kind words. i’m so glad i’ve gotten to know you, and delighted that you have your blog now! Looking forward to following your journey in 2013!

      And i’m sure Naomi will be back. 🙂

      Happy New Year!

      aisha

  4. faerie December 30, 2012 at 1:03 pm #

    aisha, I can tell you from experience that making a decision like that is not something you will ever forget, but the memories of it do get easier with time. I wish many blessings for you and your family in the coming New Year, even more then this year brought you 🙂

    • aisha January 1, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

      Hi, Faerie,

      You’re right – it’s not something that can be forgotten. But it was the right thing to do, and that is some consolation.

      Thanks for the kind words.

      Happy New Year!

      aisha

  5. monkey December 30, 2012 at 1:59 pm #

    You are not behind, you are right where you need to be. I agree with everyone up there, you are a treasure for all of us.

    I had to make the decision not to continue chemo for my mother, I know how difficult your decision was . If you do feel the need to mention it every year, so what? It was a decision that warrants that kind of place in your life. Faerie is right, you will never forget, and you shouldn’t, but it will get easier as time passes.

    • aisha January 1, 2013 at 12:09 pm #

      Thank you, Monkey. You know all these kind words make me blush.

      But that’s a bond between us, isn’t it? The club of women who chose to let our mothers go. Yeah, it does get easy – and it’s easier once i realize that some of the heaviness i feel is just because it’s that time of year.

      hugs,

      aisha

  6. Wordwytch December 30, 2012 at 4:48 pm #

    Lots of hugs for the new year. I have to admit that while 2012 has been interesting, I’m ready for this transition time to be over and done with. I want to be with Wolf in a snug little house with all our things around us.

    As for resolutions… I can’t remember how many years ago I made one and I’ve kept it ever since. No More New Years Resolutions. Instead, I concentrate on smaller goals.

    • aisha January 1, 2013 at 12:14 pm #

      Hi, Wordwytch,

      Thanks for the hugs! i’m hoping that 2013 brings you and Wolf togetherness and peace.

      i had a feeling you’d be a “no resolutions” kind of gal. 🙂

      hugs,

      aisha

      • Wordwytch January 1, 2013 at 3:19 pm #

        Yeah. That I am. My life marches to the tune of a different bagpipe most days. So, I tend to keep my goals flexible.

        Have a great 2013!

        Hugs.

  7. vanillamom December 31, 2012 at 12:15 pm #

    hugs…you are the center of the circle for me…where encouragement and enlightenment live. Thank you for being a blessing in my life each day.

    Hug,

    nilla

    • aisha January 1, 2013 at 12:15 pm #

      Dear ‘Nilla,

      And you are the earth mama, floating through on your way to some fertility rite! Thank you for enriching my life!

      i love you,

      aisha

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