So Here i Am

5 Feb

Ejaculation trainer/reviewer ~ that’s who my latest spam comment was from.  How awesome is that!   And wouldn’t it be fun to be an ejaculation trainer?  

Sorry, i got sidetracked.

And sorry i didn’t post yesterday ~ our lives have become a bit more complicated than usual.  One of Sir’s granddaughters is staying with us for a bit, and i was chief chauffeur yesterday, and had clients scheduled all day too, and have made a commitment to exercise every damn day, so there was just no time.  

Actually, i have a busy week, and a busy next couple of weeks, and then i’ll be in Very-Far-Away, and then it will be time for KBC.   Yikes.  Time to think about registering here.

Thank you to Cassaundra, who nominated me for the inspiring Blogger award.  You can check out her blog over here.

You all know the rules, right?

1. Display the award logo on your blog.

2. Link back to the person nominating you
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link back to them.
5. Notify these other bloggers and give them the award requirements.

very-inspirational-bloggeri think youall already know everything there is to know about me, right?  

i thought about telling you seven things about Ms. Constance, but then i imagined her face if i did that and quickly changed my mind.  {LOL – just kidding, Ms. Constance!}

Ok, here we go.


No, really, i can’t think of anything!!  i’ve sat here for 10 minutes, staring at the screen.  Ok, let me try again.

1.  My favorite color is purple.  Lavender.  Any shade thereof.  My mother always said it was “my color” but i didn’t feel that way until the last few years.  Weird.

2.  Sir is Buddhist.  He was atheist before that, and of course Buddhists don’t believe in a God, so he’s actually still atheist, but He’s very zen so the Buddhist thing works.

3.  i’m afraid of mice.  Terrified.  Not so much if you’re holding it, or they’re in a cage, but running wild in the house?  No.  i’d have to move out.

4.  i’ve always gotten up early in the morning. Real early.  Even when i was a little kid.  Sometimes, i’d have ice cream for breakfast, and go outside and wander around in the early morning dawn.  It was lovely – like i had the world to myself.

5.   i am out of sorts today, just a bit.  My life is shifting and swirling, and i think some  wonderful patterns are going to emerge, but i don’t much feel like blogging, but i feel like i need the connection, so here i am.

6.  i am untethered these last two days, due to the teenager in the house, and so i’m also not sitting at His feet or taking His shoes off in the evening, and that’s probably part of what’s going on, cause when my life is swirling anyhow, it’s nice to have those things around me.

7.  i believe that my life has a purpose, even if i don’t always know what it is.  i believe that my goal is always to be “more of who i am” ~ more genuine, more real, more in touch with my deepest self ~ and to act from that place, and that everything else will fall into place if i do that.  

But i forget that all the time, and start getting all critical and judging myself harshly and feeling fairly hopeless, and then something reminds me of who i am and what i need to do, and i’m able to flow through the universe again.  

TTWD are part of who i am, and help keep me in that space of positive energy and  ~ help me find the rhythm of my life.


i didn’t even know that last one was there.  

Thanks, Cassaundra.  

i just got through nominating a zillion people for this, so i won’t do it again, not today.  i will try to link more with other folks though – but there’s just a limit to how many blogs i can read all the time.  i don’t want there to be, but there is.

So instead, i leave you with this thought  ~~

Feelings, whether of compassion or irritation, should be welcomed, recognized, and treated on an absolutely equal basis; because both are ourselves. The tangerine I am eating is me. The mustard greens I am planting are me. I plant with all my heart and mind. I clean this teapot with the kind of attention I would have were I giving the baby Buddha or Jesus a bath. Nothing should be treated more carefully than anything else. In mindfulness, compassion, irritation, mustard green plant, and teapot are all sacred.
~~ Thich Nhat Hanh, The Miracle of Mindfulness: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation

20 Responses to “So Here i Am”

  1. Twisted Angel February 5, 2013 at 8:19 am #

    Although I am sure having the grandchild around is fun, not being able to be yourself isn’t. Trying to explain the intricacies of your relationship is just overwhelming so it gets put behind you.. Damn shame we just can’t be who we are and people not flip out isn’t it..

    • aisha February 6, 2013 at 9:02 am #

      Hey, Twisted Angel,

      Thanks for the support – yeah, i think it would be too weird for her if i started sitting at his feet. So then it becomes about looking for other ways to “be who i am.” Always a challenge!

  2. jadescastle February 5, 2013 at 9:07 am #

    Maybe i’m a bit slow but why does having a kid around automatically mean you can’t take off his shoes or sit at his feet? i’m not saying you should do this naked or something. i will say this…i think that we project all kinds of things like thinking that people will link these things to “sex slave” or something. In fact, the conversation has gone like this for me:

    Kid: Why do you sit on the ground by her?
    me: We like it and i’m more comfortable here. (note the period at the end of that sentence. Its true and also not TMI)

    Just sayin’

    If you are comfortable that is what the kid will pick up on. i hate the idea of you not getting anything you need right before a major trip and event where enough other things will feel out of control.

    i’m really glad you are writing, even if you did mention the mouse. (Is it a floater? A shadow? A mouse? Can we say, “exagerated startle reflex”?)
    i missed you yesterday.

    • aisha February 6, 2013 at 9:04 am #

      Thanks, Jade, it’s nice to know i’m missed. 🙂

      Now that the granddaughter’s back home, we can slide back into our usual routines, thank goodness. 🙂

      As for the mouse {EEEEEEEEEK} – i’m sorry. i’ll try not to mention it again.

  3. vanillamom February 5, 2013 at 9:13 am #

    transitions are difficult no matter the duration. Give you a break…you would if it were any of us, right?

    Hugs and peace…


    • aisha February 6, 2013 at 9:05 am #

      Transitions are difficult – although, as many as i’ve had, you’d think it would get easier…

      Ok, i know, i know, NO, i would’t say that to a friend. LOL… i’ll try to give myself a break. Yes, ma’am.

      hugs and peace…

  4. night owl February 5, 2013 at 10:49 am #

    I am with jade. We miss you when you’re not here. That is not meant to be any kind of pressure or obligation, just to let you know you are loved no matter what.

    Thanks for that beautiful passage. My favorite mindfulness exercise is “do the dishes”. That is not to say I love doing the dishes. I don’t. But I love being in that space where I am present and one with the experience of doing the dishes. It doesn’t happen very often.

    I’m so glad you have a full client day! Woo-hoo!

    • aisha February 6, 2013 at 9:07 am #

      Thank you, night owl ~ i love the doing dishes exercise too, although i don’t do it often enough. i’m glad you liked the passage.

      Are you a Thich Naht Hahn fan? Have you seen his mindful movements exercises? They’re on line, i keep thinking it would be nice t do them every day, and then i forget about it again. Sigh…

      • night owl February 7, 2013 at 3:22 am #

        I have read some of his exercises. I attended a focused therapy group and we did some of his, as well as others. I am headed to the website.

        The thing about mindfulness is…. it’s so hard to keep your mind on it!!! 😉

  5. sirqsmlb February 5, 2013 at 2:03 pm #

    OK, so can I triple Jade’s comment? Sir and I will keep what we can to keep me balanced and centered, as I often say. I sit on the floor, because that’s where I’m most comfortable. I always sat on the floor. When we settled on our roles, it just got new meaning. I almost always put on and take off Sir’s shoes. But I do help my kids with their shoes too…they think nothing of it. It’s just something I do to be sweet to Daddy, as I say to them. Now the tether may be a bit harder to explain…well, you need the tether because you have issues with sleepwalking?? I don’t know, that one’s a bit trickier. Maybe he can tie a beautiful rope bracelet or anklet on you as JEWELRY and a centering device to help when life gets stressful.

    How long is your visitor going to be with y’all…short term or long term?

    Good luck!!


    • aisha February 6, 2013 at 9:18 am #

      Hey, Fiona,

      Thanks for the input! 🙂

  6. MsConstanceExplains February 5, 2013 at 7:08 pm #

    I want to know what you were planning to say about me. Hmmm?

    • aisha February 6, 2013 at 9:19 am #

      Um, what can i possibly say but “yes, ma’am?” Particularly with that “ready to be gruff” icon looking at me!

  7. Wordwytch February 5, 2013 at 8:25 pm #

    I understand the reticence due to having family members around. BTDT, and realized it was much safer to stay ‘vanilla’ until they left. Two of my sons still haven’t gotten over the idea that their Mum writes erotica. sigh…

    As for the mice… you’d never make it here. I have one that I swear has adopted me. Runs under my desk on almost a daily basis.

    And… I’m with MsConstance. I wonder what you’d have said. 🙂

    • sirqsmlb February 5, 2013 at 8:44 pm #

      Oohh, Oohh…seven things on Ms. Constance, Aisha…do share, do share 🙂

      • aisha February 6, 2013 at 9:21 am #

        Instigator! 🙂

    • aisha February 6, 2013 at 9:21 am #

      Omg, Wordwytch, you’re so so so right about me not making it there. YIKES and EEEEEK both. Good grief. {shudder} Sorry, i know i’m being a big wuss, it’s just that – yeah, i am a big wuss.


      • jadescastle February 6, 2013 at 11:36 am #

        Hey! Geeze! Are you saying something about my week long experience in *terror*? Aren’t you supposed to be here, screeching with me? Or at least here to tell me, “nope. That was a floater, not a mouse” all day long. Or explain the little noises, the ones that could potentially be the mouse? Um. Yeah. i’m sounding like a wuss little girl. But…really….ugh. i’m driven to distraction all day long with the floaters that could be IT. Just. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Get up here already! i need backup. Sir Raven is not helpful at all. Not even a little bit.

      • aisha February 6, 2013 at 5:05 pm #

        Dear Jade, I hate to admit it, but I think I’d be useless. I’d be freaking out right with you. Yeah. Sorry. Really really sorry. Ugh, yes, i feel your pain. Better to feel it from a distance though – better for me anyhow! Yikes. But you have all my sympathy!!

      • Wordwytch February 7, 2013 at 5:32 pm #

        You’re allowed to be a wuss. I’ve gotten use to the mice. However, sometimes even pictures of snakes get me.

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